The Mall Ninja

Discussion in 'The Internet - Best and Worst' started by JonnoJonno, Aug 24, 2010.

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  1. One of the lads on arrse has resurrected a cracking story about a freak walt, claiming to be an armed guard in an American Mall. You may enjoy it:
  2. That was fcuking brilliant.
  3. Now that was a piece to read before you die. It never ceases to amaze me that these Walt's believe they can get their dribbling past folks in the know. Having said that I freely admit when he was doing the technical spiel he could have convinced me as I hadn't a clue what he was talking about. :oops:
    Great post JJ :headbang:
  4. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    Totally credble. Nothing wrong with the guy, but I doubt he'd make it as a Stoker.

    Many is the time, whilst out on my machinery space rounds, I'd often wipe-up the odd oil spill from an engine I'd put back together with fewer nuts & bolts than the so-called designer had intended. Fortunately my ceramic armour, held in place by "harry-black-maskers" prevented the odd pot-shot from an errant exploding generator.

    Them were the days. I was specially selected too, you know. A gruelling undertaking where those of us slightly less crap than the rest got made killicks quicker. Never once was I shot at, no-one ever dared, hence my username. (OK, I had lots of wheel-spanners bounce of my bonce, but it never hurt).
  5. Is it true that you used the ship's smallest crew-member to plug leaks?
  6. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    Yep. But I got used to holding my breath.
  7. If you want to laugh at somebody, try laughing at the sheep out there who go to the mall unarmed trusting in me to stand guard over their lives like a God.

    I now feel 100% safer when shopping, knowing that someone is there to save me from an army of assassins and terrorists.

    Thanks love Dolly

  8. I'm not sure who the idiots are on that thread, the originators or the ones making comments about it.

    The situations just get crazier and crazier, 'Dynamic Entry' on some bogs where a guy was playing with poop being one of them.

    Mind you, our colonial cousins are mostly obsessed with boomsticks so it's probably true. They WOULD shoot a teenager for taking an extra free cheese sample.

    It is a damn good read though.
  9. "it is not Chechin thzat we have to worry about, it is the Australian militants"

    WTF! 8O

    That is a brilliant read!
  10. I as well as everyone in the office is near to tears reading that thread.
  11. "I have personally saved the ass-virginity of several young boys in my days. But there are many brave men like myself out there who risk their lives daily, so that boys like yourself can live a normal heterosexual life."
    :D What a loon
  12. I saved a couple of girls **** virginity. I kept it saved for a week then had it. Its nice with ice cream.
  13. Deano?

  14. No never had him, was he good? :roll:
  15. Feck me I was going to take the Mrs shopping tomorrow. She can go on her bloody own now.
  16. I know how you feel, I was keeping one eye on that fucker in Morrison's today. Trouble is how can you take seriously a fucker who is dressed in Khaki, has sabre watch on his shirt and looks like Mr friggin Bean. With a Yankee style police hat on. 8O :?

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