The Lock-Down thread 2020.

Apparently President Donald Trump (otherwise known as "The Donald") has self isolated in his safe place..............Fox News.....:) :)


War Hero
Today's time waster. Make as many words as you can out of the word -


(three letters minimum)

Get your biros out!


War Hero



War Hero
Super Moderator
Fair play to little Bernie, 89 and seeing out the lockdown by knocking up his care assistant wife.....

If I was him I'd get a DNA test done as soon as the sprog was born!


War Hero
"Listen! You humans are taking me for a walk twenty fucking times a day! My feet are killin' me! No! Don't want another fucking walkies...... go away!"


War Hero
Fair play to little Bernie, 89 and seeing out the lockdown by knocking up his care assistant wife.....

Fabiana - at only 44, what is it you see in your 89 year old multi billionaire husband?


War Hero
Fair play to little Bernie, 89 and seeing out the lockdown by knocking up his care assistant wife.....

Little Bernie is right. I met him at an auction house here in London and he'd struggle to make the minimum height to join the RN.


War Hero
"And I'd like to talk to you about the terrible plight that our loveable seaside feathered friends are experiencing in these troubled times..."
"This is Frank, and this is his story..."
"I used to live on the roof of Rick Steins Chip Shop in Padstow. Food was plentiful, and there was always hundreds of tossers milling about with overpriced bags of chips, fish cakes and pickled eggs. A simple dive bomb at the small screaming humans in push chairs was all that was needed to make them panic and drop their dinners all over the fucking place and I could stuff my guts to bursting point. I ate so much that I had more than enough shit to completely plaster Mister Steins three limited edition 2019 plate Range Rovers in steaming faeces which in seagull culture, is a gesture of gratitude for all the free scran I got from the coach loads of morons from up North who didn't even know what a fuckin' beach looked like... "
secpic_seagull1_b1233704043 (1).jpg
"Now they've all fucked off 'cos of this virus and I've been evicted from Rick's roof, I'm sleeping rough on the harbour side railings, I'm fuckin' Hank Marvin and I doubt if I could muster enough excrement to splatter the saddle of a Deliveroo riders push bike"
00SCI-GULLS1-videoSixteenByNineJumbo1600 (1).jpg
"I need YOUR help. There's fuck all in the bins, no hot dog buns squashed into the pavements and no 99's with two flakes being waved about by families of cretins from Doncaster ripe for thieving. So please, wherever the fuck you are - and I fucking know that half this town is owned by rich bastards with second homes and lower class neanderthals that rent caravans, come back and leave some grub out. An open jar of mayonnaise that's past its use by date, or perhaps a Nutella container with the last bit of chocolate spread that you can't get out with a spoon.... even the incinerated remnants of your failed attempt to reproduce one of Jamie Olivers ten minute meals from his YouTube channel, we're not too fucking fussed nowadays "
" So please help us. Adopt us and we promise to be good, and not make your toddlers scream and bleed, or carpet bomb your open topped sports cars with festering crap.... honest"
"Right fuckers! Come back to the seaside as soon as. Frank and his mates are desperate and may actually have to fly out to sea and catch fuckin ' fish!"
"If you don't I will find you, shoot you in the face and beat you to death with your own legs.... I'm Jason Statham, cheers"


War Hero
Apparently due to keep your distance and lock down, sex workers have gone on benifits?
Even the oldest trade is struggling.


War Hero
Apparently due to keep your distance and lock down, sex workers have gone on benifits?
Even the oldest trade is struggling.
It has to be benefits as due to their not putting in three years of self employed tax returns they are not entitled to 80% salary :)
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