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The Last Post


I have copied this across from OaM as I think a few of you may wish to comment on the topic then pursue the ********* comedian involved.


please read these two articles one by a f**king c*nt British comedian the other by a Royal Marines Major.

see what you think.

Tim Vine on the Last Post:
Laughing at school is the heartiest laughing you will ever do in your life. When you discover yourself in the wonderful world of teendom, you start finding the smallest of situations uproariously funny. As long as you are with your buddies, anything can quickly become a recipe for hysteria, particularly at someone else’s expense. And of all the scenarios most likely to bring on waves of barely stifled guffaws, at the top of the list, for me, was always the occasion when you must not laugh. Being in an enclosed space with my mates, knowing that laughter would be wholly inappropriate, was the surest way to make it start.

This brings me to a piece of music that has been close to my heart ever since my school days. I refer to The Last Post, that strangely haunting tune, played on one trumpet, that never quite seems to get started. It begins with two sustained notes, then, almost as though the composer was trying to attract someone’s attention on the other side of the room, repeats the two notes and a couple of others at about five times the speed. There’s a moment to reflect, then the two notes again. Who it was that decided this comedy melody, played on — let’s face it — a rather amusing instrument, should be performed after two minutes’ silence to remember people who died in the war, I don’t know, but for me and my friends it was irresistible. Having just spent the longest two minutes of our lives trying to avoid actually exploding with laughter, the fact that the silence was broken by this tune of all tunes, and usually played by a fellow pupil who sounded as though he’d taken up the trumpet only the previous day . . . Well, there was just no defence against it.

The shoulders rocked up and down like a piston. One hand was clasped over the mouth, with thumb and index finger pinching the nostrils for dear life. Involuntary splutters were unconvincingly followed by decoy coughs.

Yes, I love that tune for all the joy it brought me and all the memories it has given me, for there is nothing quite so life-affirming as looking sideways along a row of friends and seeing them all, to a man, heads down, chins against their chests, faces contorted, each fighting his own private ordeal.

Even now, with my school days having long since disappeared from my rear-view mirror, I can still vividly recall the sound of that wavering trumpet note, the backward snort of a smothered laugh and the sight of a bubble ballooning from my best mate’s nose. The Last Post. Thank goodness it didn’t have lyrics.

The comedian Tim Vine will be appearing at the Pleasance Courtyard, Edinburgh, until August 16

What a twat,

Now a letter written to him by a Royal Marines major.

Dear Mr Vine,

I suspect I will be only one of many who were outraged at your rather unpleasant and flippant 'piece' in the Sunday Times 'Culture' supplement regarding the Last Post, or 'comedy melody' as you put it.

Whilst I'm sure your intention was not to offend, I can't believe that someone of your obvious intellect (you do need to be clever to be a successful comedian) could have been insensible to the reaction your article would generate from serving and ex-members of the Armed Forces and their families/dependants.

I have been in the Royal Marines for 29 years and have lost many friends and colleagues over that time, killed whilst fighting for this country. So, the next time you feel 'compelled' to hold your silence, whilst marking respect for the thousands who have selflessly paid the highest price for this country, rather than suppressing the childish urge to laugh, perhaps you might take the time to reflect on the tragedy of each and every death in armed conflict, and consider the great sacrifices that were, and still are being, made to ensure you have the freedom of speech you so obviously enjoy today.

Under the circumstances, you might consider making a sincere, public apology. I for one would welcome it, and, who knows, if you did, you might even win back some modicum of respect from those in my profession who are involved in the deadly serious business of war fighting.

Yours sincerely,

P E Rhodes
Major, Royal Marines

Perhaps Mr Vine would like to hear from us,

His website and email are below ;)

[email protected]

If you feel like giving him a hard time here's the venue list.

2 SWANSEA GRAND THEATRE 8.00PM 01792 475715

5 YORK GRAND THEATRE 8.00PM 0844 847 2322

6 GRIMSBY AUDITORIUM 8.00PM 0844 8472426

10 HAYES BECK THEATRE 8.00PM 0208 561 8371



14 BRIGHTON THEATRE ROYAL 7.45PM 08700 606 650

17 ALDERSHOT PRINCES HALL 7.45PM 01252 329 155

18 CROYDON FAIRFIELD HALLS 7.45PM 020 8688 9291

19 SALFORD LOWRY 8.00PM 0870 787 5790


Lantern Swinger
Personally can't think of anything less appropriate as a source of "Comedy".

My friends have died, how hilarious.....



I forgot to add, he's 'performing' at Aldershot on the 17th. If anybody is a member of Arsse could you place the post in the Para Regt section. I'm sure they'll arrange a welcoming comittee. :rambo:


War Hero
The Last Post brings me close to tears every time I hear it, and it's not a thing I could think to ridicule myself.

I, like many other service personnel (and, of course, ex), also have a dark, graveyard humour, and just because the Last Post is something close to our hearts I think we should remember that those for whom it is played served to allow people freedom to say things that we may find distasteful. Rise above it.

I won't be 'pursuing' him but I won't be sending him a Christmas Card either.


Lantern Swinger
Darth said:
I forgot to add, he's 'performing' at Aldershot on the 17th. If anybody is a member of Arsse could you place the post in the Para Regt section. I'm sure they'll arrange a welcoming comittee. :rambo:

I can see the Headlines now:

Comedian savaged by Angry mob!
-Polished Bugle shoved up Anus.....


War Hero
I joined up in 77 and always looked upon remebrance sunday & the last post as "something for the old blokes". I went up to the parades in town with my grandads knowing I would be going for a good session wth them.

All that changed for me in 1982, I still remember that remembrance sunday like it was yesterday. I was duty SAR driver on 819, I sat in the tv room watching the cenotaph ceremony intermixed with film from the Falklands & am not ashamed to say I was crying uncontrollablly at the Last Post.

It was then I realised why it is so important for the old boys to be there, it was to remember friends & shipmates who wouldn't be ever coming home.
I wonder how many schoolboys in 1914 looked along the row of their schoolboy mates and had a good snigger.

I'll bet the few that were left 12 months later knew what the Last Post was all about.


War Hero
See your point, but it's highly unlikely that it would have been played in schools in 1914, and would imagine most schoolboys would still be alive 12 months later.


Lantern Swinger
The Editor of the Sunday Times should also have shown better judgement than to publish such a piece, so maybe some criticism should go to him as well?
Guzzler said:
See your point, but it's highly unlikely that it would have been played in schools in 1914, and would imagine most schoolboys would still be alive 12 months later.

Maybe I should have put "Final year schoolboys", as they did tend to volunteer almost by the class load.
That would have made it clearer.


War Hero
As I cant find the article on Times online, I'll have to take your word for it (linky?).

While Im sure most of us would bollock him senseless if we witnessed such behaviour at a remembrance service, he is recounting a tale of his schooldaze, and of taboos and childish behaviour and inability to surpress childish urges. Whether there's any comedy value in that I dont know, as I dont find him funny in general, he and Lee Mack can both go eat their own scripts for all I care. But I don't think he's particularly well informed. I can only imagine he didnt have any older relatives, grandparents etc who served to educate him as to what the past post and the act of remeberance signifies.
I would like to see his routine in the future if one of his kids were to join up and go front line, and perhaps come home in a flag draped casket.

In the meantime I also agree with Guzzler, people died for our freedoms (and we remember them), so that idiots can laugh at wholly inappropriate moments.
Team America: World Police said:
Freedom isn't free (there's a hefty f***ing fee)

Out on DVD this week
Tim Vines school trips "How I laughed at Auschwitz", "Pissing my sides at Hiroshima", and "Childrens cancer ward, why all the long faces?"

On the other hand I may just go round to the Lowry and glass him.....
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