Navy Net - Royal Navy Community

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

The Last Post

Darth

Midshipman
I have copied this across from OaM as I think a few of you may wish to comment on the topic then pursue the ********* comedian involved.

Gents,

please read these two articles one by a f**king c*nt British comedian the other by a Royal Marines Major.

see what you think.





Tim Vine on the Last Post:
Laughing at school is the heartiest laughing you will ever do in your life. When you discover yourself in the wonderful world of teendom, you start finding the smallest of situations uproariously funny. As long as you are with your buddies, anything can quickly become a recipe for hysteria, particularly at someone else’s expense. And of all the scenarios most likely to bring on waves of barely stifled guffaws, at the top of the list, for me, was always the occasion when you must not laugh. Being in an enclosed space with my mates, knowing that laughter would be wholly inappropriate, was the surest way to make it start.

This brings me to a piece of music that has been close to my heart ever since my school days. I refer to The Last Post, that strangely haunting tune, played on one trumpet, that never quite seems to get started. It begins with two sustained notes, then, almost as though the composer was trying to attract someone’s attention on the other side of the room, repeats the two notes and a couple of others at about five times the speed. There’s a moment to reflect, then the two notes again. Who it was that decided this comedy melody, played on — let’s face it — a rather amusing instrument, should be performed after two minutes’ silence to remember people who died in the war, I don’t know, but for me and my friends it was irresistible. Having just spent the longest two minutes of our lives trying to avoid actually exploding with laughter, the fact that the silence was broken by this tune of all tunes, and usually played by a fellow pupil who sounded as though he’d taken up the trumpet only the previous day . . . Well, there was just no defence against it.

The shoulders rocked up and down like a piston. One hand was clasped over the mouth, with thumb and index finger pinching the nostrils for dear life. Involuntary splutters were unconvincingly followed by decoy coughs.

Yes, I love that tune for all the joy it brought me and all the memories it has given me, for there is nothing quite so life-affirming as looking sideways along a row of friends and seeing them all, to a man, heads down, chins against their chests, faces contorted, each fighting his own private ordeal.

Even now, with my school days having long since disappeared from my rear-view mirror, I can still vividly recall the sound of that wavering trumpet note, the backward snort of a smothered laugh and the sight of a bubble ballooning from my best mate’s nose. The Last Post. Thank goodness it didn’t have lyrics.

The comedian Tim Vine will be appearing at the Pleasance Courtyard, Edinburgh, until August 16

What a twat,


Now a letter written to him by a Royal Marines major.


Dear Mr Vine,

I suspect I will be only one of many who were outraged at your rather unpleasant and flippant 'piece' in the Sunday Times 'Culture' supplement regarding the Last Post, or 'comedy melody' as you put it.

Whilst I'm sure your intention was not to offend, I can't believe that someone of your obvious intellect (you do need to be clever to be a successful comedian) could have been insensible to the reaction your article would generate from serving and ex-members of the Armed Forces and their families/dependants.

I have been in the Royal Marines for 29 years and have lost many friends and colleagues over that time, killed whilst fighting for this country. So, the next time you feel 'compelled' to hold your silence, whilst marking respect for the thousands who have selflessly paid the highest price for this country, rather than suppressing the childish urge to laugh, perhaps you might take the time to reflect on the tragedy of each and every death in armed conflict, and consider the great sacrifices that were, and still are being, made to ensure you have the freedom of speech you so obviously enjoy today.

Under the circumstances, you might consider making a sincere, public apology. I for one would welcome it, and, who knows, if you did, you might even win back some modicum of respect from those in my profession who are involved in the deadly serious business of war fighting.

Yours sincerely,

P E Rhodes
Major, Royal Marines


Perhaps Mr Vine would like to hear from us,

His website and email are below ;)


http://www.timvine.com/

[email protected]

If you feel like giving him a hard time here's the venue list.

SEPTEMBER
2 SWANSEA GRAND THEATRE 8.00PM 01792 475715 www.swanseagrand.co.uk

5 YORK GRAND THEATRE 8.00PM 0844 847 2322 www.grandoperahouseyork.org.uk

6 GRIMSBY AUDITORIUM 8.00PM 0844 8472426 www.grimsbyauditorium.org.uk

10 HAYES BECK THEATRE 8.00PM 0208 561 8371 www.becktheatre.org.uk

12 BIRMINGHAM ALEXANDRA THEATRE 8.00PM 0870 607 7533 www.AlexandraTheatre.org.uk

13 REDDITCH PALACE THEATRE 7.30PM 01527 65203 www.redditchpalacetheatre.co.uk

14 BRIGHTON THEATRE ROYAL 7.45PM 08700 606 650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal

17 ALDERSHOT PRINCES HALL 7.45PM 01252 329 155 www.princeshall.com

18 CROYDON FAIRFIELD HALLS 7.45PM 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk

19 SALFORD LOWRY 8.00PM 0870 787 5790 www.thelowry.com
 

Grubber

Lantern Swinger
Personally can't think of anything less appropriate as a source of "Comedy".

My friends have died, how hilarious.....

Knob.
 

Darth

Midshipman
I forgot to add, he's 'performing' at Aldershot on the 17th. If anybody is a member of Arsse could you place the post in the Para Regt section. I'm sure they'll arrange a welcoming comittee. :rambo:
 

Guzzler

War Hero
The Last Post brings me close to tears every time I hear it, and it's not a thing I could think to ridicule myself.

I, like many other service personnel (and, of course, ex), also have a dark, graveyard humour, and just because the Last Post is something close to our hearts I think we should remember that those for whom it is played served to allow people freedom to say things that we may find distasteful. Rise above it.

I won't be 'pursuing' him but I won't be sending him a Christmas Card either.
 

Grubber

Lantern Swinger
Darth said:
I forgot to add, he's 'performing' at Aldershot on the 17th. If anybody is a member of Arsse could you place the post in the Para Regt section. I'm sure they'll arrange a welcoming comittee. :rambo:

I can see the Headlines now:

Comedian savaged by Angry mob!
-Polished Bugle shoved up Anus.....
 

chockhead819

War Hero
I joined up in 77 and always looked upon remebrance sunday & the last post as "something for the old blokes". I went up to the parades in town with my grandads knowing I would be going for a good session wth them.

All that changed for me in 1982, I still remember that remembrance sunday like it was yesterday. I was duty SAR driver on 819, I sat in the tv room watching the cenotaph ceremony intermixed with film from the Falklands & am not ashamed to say I was crying uncontrollablly at the Last Post.

It was then I realised why it is so important for the old boys to be there, it was to remember friends & shipmates who wouldn't be ever coming home.
 
I wonder how many schoolboys in 1914 looked along the row of their schoolboy mates and had a good snigger.

I'll bet the few that were left 12 months later knew what the Last Post was all about.
 

Guzzler

War Hero
See your point, but it's highly unlikely that it would have been played in schools in 1914, and would imagine most schoolboys would still be alive 12 months later.
 

penrecon

Lantern Swinger
The Editor of the Sunday Times should also have shown better judgement than to publish such a piece, so maybe some criticism should go to him as well?
 
Guzzler said:
See your point, but it's highly unlikely that it would have been played in schools in 1914, and would imagine most schoolboys would still be alive 12 months later.

Maybe I should have put "Final year schoolboys", as they did tend to volunteer almost by the class load.
That would have made it clearer.
 

Ships_Cat

War Hero
As I cant find the article on Times online, I'll have to take your word for it (linky?).

While Im sure most of us would bollock him senseless if we witnessed such behaviour at a remembrance service, he is recounting a tale of his schooldaze, and of taboos and childish behaviour and inability to surpress childish urges. Whether there's any comedy value in that I dont know, as I dont find him funny in general, he and Lee Mack can both go eat their own scripts for all I care. But I don't think he's particularly well informed. I can only imagine he didnt have any older relatives, grandparents etc who served to educate him as to what the past post and the act of remeberance signifies.
I would like to see his routine in the future if one of his kids were to join up and go front line, and perhaps come home in a flag draped casket.

In the meantime I also agree with Guzzler, people died for our freedoms (and we remember them), so that idiots can laugh at wholly inappropriate moments.
Team America: World Police said:
Freedom isn't free (there's a hefty f***ing fee)

Out on DVD this week
Tim Vines school trips "How I laughed at Auschwitz", "Pissing my sides at Hiroshima", and "Childrens cancer ward, why all the long faces?"

On the other hand I may just go round to the Lowry and glass him.....
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
Capn_Pugwash Last Post and Reveille - sheet music History 2
Sea-man Last post I promise!! Submariners 7
BreathingOutOnTheWayUp Last Fifty - A Missing N_G Post? Site Issues 7
Chaz Osama Bin Laden's last Facebook post! Miscellaneous 19
oldseadog Last Post Wins The Gash Barge 16
B Last post wins The Gash Barge 73
Ja5on Word association last post wins The Gash Barge 261
soleil Sky: "Last Post: Military Mail Cutbacks Slammed" Current Affairs 8
Colander Last Post Wins The Gash Barge 3578
N The Last Post Submariners 15
snapdragon Probably my last topic post before Raleigh! Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 36
MoD_RSS Companies House issue ‘don’t leave it until the last minute’ advice to businesses MoD News 0
MoD_RSS New data shows proportion of steel procured within UK has doubled since last year MoD News 0
MoD_RSS NHS nurse numbers continue rising with 13,840 more than last year MoD News 0
MoD_RSS NHS nurse numbers continue to rise with 13,502 more than last year MoD News 0
D Navy as a last resort option Joining the Royal Navy 61
MoD_RSS Last chance to ‘wave goodbye’ to Mercury mission MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Last chance to express interest for rural business growth grants MoD News 0
C Last time a squadron of ships sailed together apart from the Dartmouth Training Squadron in the 1960's Miscellaneous 7
MoD_RSS Last chance to sign up for the EECAN Roadshow MoD News 0
soleil Refinery 29: "Money Diary - A Submariner On £43k In Her Last Week On Shore For Months" Submariners 17
MoD_RSS The Last Overland Adventure expedition arrived in Ashgabat MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Home education: a choice or last resort? MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Last nuclear fuel flask leaves Wylfa MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Final nuclear fuel removed from last Magnox reactor MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Thousands of companies missed crucial accounts deadline last year MoD News 0
MoD_RSS If your charity last did an annual return before 12 November 2018 MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Last chance to apply for International Trade Summer School MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Porsche is the number one prestige car brand clamped last year by DVLA MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: PM statement on the liberation of the last Daesh-held territory: 23 March 2019 MoD News 0
BreathingOutOnTheWayUp The last surviving REAL Great Escape Survivor finally passes away History 0
MoD_RSS News story: The end of an era: RAF Tornado returns from operations for the last time MoD News 0
Sumo Last man standing Current Affairs 0
S RFA - living outside the Uk in the last 5 years Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 0
Dusty70 “Name the last Type 26 Frigate HMS Plymouth”. Petitions 4
soleil Forces Network News: "HMS Tyne Goes Home For The Last Time" The Fleet 24
A Last year in school need advice about joining Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 4
Ballistic HMS Ocean's last homecoming Current Affairs 3
T Son passed out of Raleigh last week Joining the Royal Navy 5
fishhead Say again your last Land Ops 2
MoD_RSS Press release: Autonomy on the frontline: Last Mile challenge winners announced MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Autonomous last mile resupply network event - information pack MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Accelerator webinar: autonomous last mile resupply MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Accelerator innovation network event: autonomous last mile resupply MoD News 0
J Not lived in UK last 5 years. RFA 8
MoD_RSS News story: UK and US look to robotics help for ‘last mile’ MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Last chance for Sergeant Arthur Pulman MoD News 6
J Last minute medical Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 8
MoD_RSS News story: A new painting marks Army’s relationship with Scotland over last 100 years MoD News 0
C Any last tips? Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 19
Similar threads


















































Latest Threads

New Posts

Top