The key to my financially secure future

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by guestm, Feb 12, 2010.

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  1. Fcuking Eddie the Eagle is still raking cash in for being shite at a sport no-one can be arsed to do, looks easy to me. Ski down a hill and land a piddling little jump.

    I'm taking up ski jumping, you don't even have to be any good. Then, once I've heroically failed, I'll just do Churchill ads until I die.

    Anyone else fancy taking up a winter sport where ability isn't a factor? See you at the next olympics.
  2. On the news today the first casualty in the luge, some bloke crashed at 90mph, i would rather just sit back and watch mate.
  3. I'm not fcuking doing that, I intend to be wank at ski jump so won't be jumping particularly far, curling looks a piece of piss too.
  4. Now were talking, curling looks pretty safe.
  5. I would rather be shite at Biathlon. You'd look like a twunt skiing and you'd make the news with all the NDs.
  6. Figure skating is too dangerous, with all those twist and turns and jumps, nahhhh, im sticking to curling.
  7. I actually genuinely fancy a go at Biathlon, I can ski, shoot and like tight clothing.
  8. I can shoot like a God, but I ski like God's poo. I like tight clothing though.
  9. Ice, lobbing massive rocks and ice skating with brooms all at once? Screw that. Ice fishing is where it's at.
  10. I am the master at the high speed tree stop. I'm also up there with the worlds best when it comes to making a cunt out of myself trying to mount a lollipop lift with a massive queue of impatient Scandinavian cunts tutting away and pointing at me.
  11. I prefer to rotate my knee 180 degrees and ensure that the majority of my ligaments scatter themselves across the piste. But then I have always enjoyed the challenge of down-hilling drunk with x-country skis on. 8O
  12. FlagWagger

    FlagWagger Book Reviewer

    Ice fishing was explained to me (by a woman) as an excuse for guys to hang out in a heated shed, spin dits and drink beer and liquor - if they catch a fish it's a bonus!

    There is however an element of risk (other than hangovers and cirrhosis) - I have also heard that there are more pickup trucks in Ontario's lakes and rivers than are on the roads, primarily due to ice fishing.
  13. Isn't that the submariners?
  14. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    I'll just make sure the games run smoothly, apparently I'm a snow machine.
  15. Curling is definitley the one for me.

    given last nights curry and stella my curling this morning is indeed of Olympic standard.
  16. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

  17. No, it's the tankies!!! :D

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