The Italian who went to Malta (Read with Italian accent)

One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I wanna two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna to piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch,
.Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you know understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. So I go back to my room inna hoteland there is no shits on my bed. I call the manager and tell him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed you sonna ma bitch.
I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say "Peace on you". I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy.
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