The hangover lottery

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Montigny_La_Palisse, Jul 14, 2009.

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  1. I had a couple of wets last night, and although I'm not hanging, I am a little fuzzy and I also have what I refer to as "The Hangover Horn". I keep getting rampant boners and I want to slap one into everything, the cleaner just came in to empty my bin and all I wanted to do was bend her over the desk. She's honking too.

    So why the fcuk are there such a variety of hangover moods? Why even if you drink the same one day as the next you get two different hangovers?And why can't I fcuking pick which one I get? There's the depression hangover, the everything is funny hangover, the remorse hangover, the really fcuking ill hangover, the fcuk off or I'll bang you out hangover and the tired hangover. The worst is the slow burner where you wake up feeling great but by 1500 you want to die.

    I wonder what tomorrows will be?
  2. It's because you're getting old.
  3. I hate the mornings when your still walking on springs with your brain on gimbals because you just know your going to hit planet Earth with an almighty bang by 1000ish and need a quick snifter lunchtime to equalize
  4. That's an urban myth, you don't get hangovers when your younger because you don't drink anywhere near as much as you do later in life. If I drank as much when I was 18 that I do now, I'd have died. A single bottle of wood varnish doesn't even draw out a flinch from me now.
  5. But you are getting old.
  6. It's the shellac in the wood varnish that stiffens things up.

  7. This is a very interesting it ? cus I aint got a fcukin clue what your supposed to be saying, other than "your getting old".

    What the fcuk are you doing? regressing? 8O 8O
  8. It'll also polish him off, and then he can claim to be a real "Smoothie" 8O :oops: :D
  9. Getting old is ace I got my mid life crisis in at 24 so now I'm just embracing the merits of being a miserable old cnut, and drinking heavily whilst coining the phrase "In my day". There is the downside of needing a p1ss after every single pint though.
  10. Thankfully I seem to metabolise the stuff rapidly, though I get up automatically during the night to drink/pee copious amounts of water. It's mad though, not as if I'm not drinking enough: Had half a bottle of Jack with a mate last week as well as a few beers and not even a hint of fuzziness/illness.

    I still get hangovers but they're all of the tired/buzzed type. Even when I had my 21st and smashed the place/myself up after some ridiculous drinking I was fine the next morning, just a little fuzzy and hoarse.

    Monty- with the rabid boners you're getting after just a few I reckon there's something other than the alcohol afoot, you sure none of your mates want to shag you? 8O
  11. Perhaps they did and he didn't notice.
  12. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    The shitpiss hangover. You've been on the razz for 3-4 days and you wake up dying for a dump. Out comes the solid and alls well. Cup of tea/coffee and then the need for a another dump. Over the peroid of a couple of hours you pay a few visits to the pan, where each time it becomes more like piss'n out your plug hole with an increasing look of pain on your face. Could also be called sting'n ring hangover.
  13. With all that peeing your doing just you wait until you hit your forties and your prostate starts to play up. Oh joy of fcuking joys!!!
  14. I fcuking hate the shitpiss hangover, I had one of those in Tallin and it nearly ruined my day, it certainly ruined my nicks.

    Naturally, they're only human. I have a fine erection now as I type this, I may have to go and stick it in something. Where did those Air cadets get to?
  15. Yeah, can't say I'm looking forward to visiting Dr Slippymitts and the icy finger of Doom either! 8O
  16. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    Carrying on from another thread, your fooling nobody. You have it checked often, just not with a finger. :wink:
  17. It's not so bad when he tells you you haven't got cancer though.

    I still have to keep taking the pills though.
  18. Perhaps you should invest in one of them Fleshlights, just stick it under your trousers and onto your thigh with some ductape and arse-shuffle yourself to contentment to stares of confusion from the office. 8)
  19. Ouch 8O
  20. Ah the old Alpha-blockers i believe!!!

    Hmm 36 and know about these things........always a worry!! 8O

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