The Hammer

#1
A man is up in court and the judge says to him, "you stand here accused of doing your wife to death with a hammer,how do you plead?".Before he could answer a bloke in the public gallery shouts "you ******* lousy git!". "Thats enough" says the judge, "I will not tolerate that kind of language in my court".Turning to the man in the dock he says, "You also stand accused that you did your daughter to death with a hammer". Once again the bloke in the public gallery shouts "You ******* ********!". The judge says "Constable,arrest that man and bring him down here in front of my bench". The constable arrests the bloke and drags him down from the gallery. The judge says to him, "Look, I know this is a very distressing case, but what's brought on all this foul language?". The bloke replies, "Your Honour, I've lived next door to this bastard for twenty years and every time I've asked to lend his hammer he's said he hasn't ******* got one!".
 

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