The Great Reverse Walt - a challenge.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by BillyNoMates, Feb 8, 2010.

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  1. Alright.
    Sites such as Rum Ration, ARRSE etc get the occasional throbber pretending to have stormed the beaches of Normandy,
    killed every enemy soldier in North Korea, or have served 83 years man and boy in the Royal Navy. Well.......what about
    reversing the trend?
    Surely amongst our military brethren on these sites, there are the odd SBS type, or serving/ex chappies that we know
    have actually done what they type "reverse walt" yourself - sign up on the Forum below, and see how long
    it takes for whatever sort of Moderator they have - to hunt you down, and realise that you're not in fact an expert in the
    field of flower arranging, hyacinths or wedding posies.
    A boquet of dead daffodils to the one who manages to stay as a member the longest.

    (I'm going to give it a go when I get home. I require an appropriate
    Username and Password I suppose......errrr......FlowerPotLover and
    AlanTitchmarsh as a password...let y'know how I get on later). :evil:
  2. Sweet william, or Stinking Billy. :D :wink:
  3. Have just registered using a different Username and password.
    An E-mail has been sent to my Inbox at home. Will complete
    the mandatory registration before I get my nut down and see
    how long I last.

    Whoopeee ! I'm a f***ing Flower arranger!!

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
  4. Congrats Billy,

    :idea: Found any sites suitable for Wannabee Basket Weavers yet?

    (I only ask as I can recommend a few on here....)

  5. Bang!

    (Go on - sign up - I double dare you)
  6. I'm signed up!

    Let the Walting begin!
  7. Signed up as nz Basket_Case. Too soon to be asking for advice on basket weaving for speshuls?

  8. SOOOOOO exciting over there:

    There is a place that I call home
    I knew once I found it I no longer needed to roam
    My friends are here
    And all the garden advice I need is near.

    Oh geez where do I do I start
    Everybody has such a place in my heart
    Dave our fun loving Webmaster
    Always they’re when we need an answer

    Trish our garden mistress
    Has proved she is quite the seamstress
    Coco the queen of cook
    Is making us our recipe book.

    Aimee, which has been through so much
    Helps us all keep in touch.
    Roadrunner oh what a treat
    She always has chocolate to eat.

    Redrose a beauty through and through
    You never know what gift she will bring to you.
    TiG has a heart big as gold
    Don’t believe if somebody else told ya it ain’t so

    Badseed is my friend and I know will be there
    I can count on her when nobody else cares.
    Nana is a one of a kind
    I don’t think a better friend I would ever find.

    Eyes if a piece of art
    And will always have a special place in my heart.
    GoVols is our garden helper
    The plants database wouldn’t be what it is with out her.

    Then there is sweet PoppySue without her I don’t know what we would do.
    Always they’re to answer any question for you.
    Calalily is also the best
    She really puts us to a test.

    Crimson feels so alone
    But I am sure we can make her feel at home
    Zany is such a hoot
    Because you know she don’t give a toot.

    Mike is ready for anything
    You never know what to the party he will bring
    Shoe with his stories so true
    Can always but a smile on your face when you’re blue.

    Louisa we have missed you since you have roamed
    To visit your loved ones far away from home.
    Lisa is our Cajun queen
    Market growers beware because with this she is very keen.

    Flowox has such offered so much
    With all her seed packets and such
    Gardenwife is our computer guru
    She is always there to help you.

    Gardenhubby is our chef on board
    He fixes steaks you will adore.
    Lilith is a lady true and sound
    Is always willing to help when she is around.

    Baa such a loving heart
    Always doing her part.
    Tim our passiflora expert
    All his pictures keep us alert.

    Azelea a wonderful grandmother you make
    No other could take your place.
    Jody our tried and true
    No garden would be complete without you.

    Paul is one of the best
    He puts our gardening knowledge to the test.
    Laura my friend from down under
    What adventure she has planned next I have to wonder.

    GRC our true southern gent
    Keeps us all rolling with his quick wit.
    Kelly a Master Gardner don’t ya know
    Can help with anything that grows.

    JSS a beauty through and through
    A rose she will always have for you
    Liz has given us our Hobbitt names
    But Brugs really are her claim to fame

    MaVie Rose with her charming insight
    Searches for answers day and night
    Sis with her quick wit of hydrangeas dreams
    But grows everything so it seems.

    Evert the youngest here by far
    But in this garden he’s a shining star.
    Weedwalker for her mom came to look
    For info on medicinal plants she’s better than a book

    I think I'll include myself out of that site, they live too near the edge...... :(
  9. BNM/Now a flower-arranger. Well - I've just popped into their
    forums for a quick f**k it's HELL in there. Mind you,
    some of 'em have got fu**ing disgusting Avatars, so maybe
    I can pass myself off as Percy Thrower for a bit as soon as I've
    got some sort of profile together. :twisted:

    Just picked a post at random - and I think cutting off lambs ears
    and having them posted to you is f***ing cruel and has absolutely
    bugger all to do with floristry. I shall complain to the flower-peoples
    moderator in the strongest possible terms.


    #Yeah my lovely lambs ears I ordered from Thrive have arrived and they only took two days. I have a box of the browny ones and a box of the greeny ones but now that I have them I am stuck with what to do with them........ Apart from just stroking them - They are soooooooo soft. Had loads of ideas when I ordered am a bit of a numpty Anyone got any wonderful creative ideas this morning? I think I may have left all my creativness in bed!!!#
  10. Billy.

    We know you are a man of many "Talents" (or was it "Totems"?) But are you a Barber, too??? 8O :wink:
  11. Sitrep. Started a Thread as a professional Walt flower arranger.

    Its getting some input.

    (Original Post)

    Beware of the flowers?

    Hello everyone,
    Seeing as my other half took it upon herself to return to work
    I searched high & low for an appropriate Forum, so that she
    could get back up to speed so to speak. order to
    r-e-a-l-l-y impress her - I am asking if any of you good people
    can put me a list together of the worlds most dangerous flowers.
    I shall then astound her with my depth of knowledge!
    Deadly Nightshade must obviously be one - otherwise why the
    deadly?. For my sins - I construct decking areas and patios. I am
    clueless were flora and fauna are concerned but handy with power
    tools and cement mixers.
    I am looking forward to coming back to this thread and memorising
    a list of the worlds most lethal plant life.

    Replies so far:

    HoneyBee (MasterFlorist) replied:

    reckon she might appreciate dinner on the table, a clean house, a foot rub and a massage more

    Captain Janeway (MasterFlorist) replied:

    mmmmm,,power tools !

    Breezy (MasterFlorist) replied:

    mmmmmmmmmm man asking about deadly flowers

    fabs (MasterFlorist) replied:

    Google, Library, Poison Shop. Are you trying to poison your wife

    Captain Janeway (MasterFlorist) 2nd reply:


    Sazzle (Who seems to be a Moderator) replied:

    what a strange request

    lots of everyday flowers are posionous if you eat them, not that you'd want to. I reckon your wife work prefer what honeybee said too hehe.

    Orchid Lover (MasterFlorist) replied:

    You are wierd!

    Mardy (Of the Mardy-Arse Group?) replied:

    and dangerous..........

    Dizzy Daisy (MasterFlorist) replied: (and I hit the JackPot here):

    Poisonous Plants and Flowers
    Common Name Botanical Name
    Aconite (wolfsbane, monkhood) Aconitum spp.
    Anemone (windflower) Anemone spp.
    Anthurium Anthurium spp.
    Atamasco lily Zephyranthes spp.
    Autumn crocus Colchicum autumnale
    Azalea Azalea spp. (Rhododendron spp.)
    Baneberry Actaea spp.
    Black locust Robinia pseudo-acacia
    Bloodroot Sanguinaria canadensis
    Boxwood Buxus spp.
    Burning bush (strawberry bush, spindle tree, wahoo) Euonymus spp
    Buttercup Ranunculus spp.
    Butterfly weed Asclepias spp.
    Caladium Caladium spp.
    Calla (calla lily) Calla palustris (Zantedeschia aethiopica)
    Carolina jasmine (yellow jessamine) Gelsemium sempervirens
    Castor bean Ricinus communis
    Cherry laurel Prunus caroliniana
    Chinaberry (bead tree) Melia azedarach
    Christmas rose Helleborus niger
    Clematis Clematis spp.
    Daffodil Narcissus spp.
    Deadly nightshade (belladonna) Atropoa belladona
    Death cammas (black snakeroot) Zigadenus spp.
    Delphinium (larkspur) Delphinium spp.
    Dogbane Apocynum androsaemifolium
    Dumbcane Dieffenbachia spp.
    Elephant ears Colocasia antiquorum
    False hellebore Veratrum viride
    Four o'clock Mirabills jalapa
    Foxglove Digitalis purpurea
    Giant elephant ear Alocasia spp.
    Gloriosa lily Glonosa superba
    Golden chain tree (laburnum) Labunum anagryroides
    Goldenseal Hydrastis canadensis
    Heavenly bamboo (nandina) Nandinaa domestica
    Henbane (black henbane) Hyoscyamus niger
    Horse chestnut (Ohio buckeye) Aesculus spp.
    Horse nettle Solanum spp.
    Hyacinth Hyacinthus orientalis
    Hyacinth bean Dolicbos lab lab
    Hydrangea Hydrangea spp.
    Iris Iris spp.
    Ivy (English ivy) Hedera helix
    Jack-in-the-pulpit Arisaemia triphyllum
    Jerusalem cherry Solanum pseudocapsicum
    Jessamine (jasmine) Cestrum spp.
    Jetbead (jetberry) Rhodotypos tetrapetala
    Jimson weed Datura spp (Brugmansia spp.)
    Jonquil Narcissus spp.
    Kentucky coffee tree Gymnocladus dioica
    Lantana Lantana camara
    Leopard's bane Arnica montana
    Lily of the valley Convallaria majalis
    Lobelia (cardinal flower, Indian tobacco) Lobelia spp.
    Marsh marigold Caltha palustris
    May apple (mandrake) Podophyllum peltatum
    Mescal bean (Texas mountain laurel, frijo lillo) Sophora secundiflora
    Mistletoe Phoradendron spp.
    Morning glory Ipomoea violacea
    Mountain laurel Kalmia latifolia
    Nightshade Solanum spp.
    Oleander Nerium oleander
    Periwinkle (myrtle, vinca) Vinca spp.
    Philodendron Philodendron spp. (Monstera spp.)
    Pittosporum Pittosporum spp.
    Poison hemlock Conium maculatum
    Potato Solanum tuberosum
    Privet Ligustrum spp.
    Rhododendron Rhododendron spp.
    Rock poppy (celandyne) Chelidonium majus
    Schefflera Schefflera spp.
    Spring adonis Adonis vernalis
    Spurge Euphorbia spp.
    Star of Bethlehem Ornithogalum umbellatum
    Sweet pea Lathyrus spp.
    Tobacco Nicotiana tabacum
    Trumpet flower (chalice vine) Solandra spp.
    Water hemlock Cicuta maculata
    Wild cherry (black cherry) Prunus serotina
    Wisteria Wisteria spp.
    Yellow allamanda Allamanda cathartica
    Yellow oleander (tiger apple, be still tree, lucky nut) Thevetia peruviana
    Yesterday-today-and-tomorrow Brunfelsia spp.

    Disclaimer: This is a list of the most common poisonous plants and flowers but it is by no means complete. If the plant is not on this list, that doesn't necessarily make it edible or non-poisonous. Be sure you know what you are putting in your mouth!

    • Edible Flowers Chart
    • Edible Flowers Information and Recipes
    • Herb

    Try this one!! by the way most women are handy with some sort of power tool!!!!!!!

    * * * * * *

    It’s good to be a Walt Flower arranger….it really, really is.
  12. This is fantastic :D :D :D

    Well done Billy
  13. Nice one billy, I'll pop over to that thread later and see what I can add,

    If you can go over to the farts thread, I need a bit of help, they may have rumbled me, but I am trying to get the idea going that my college lecturer is grooming me and trying to lure me away for a "romantic" weekend!
  14. If the flower pot people can read between the lines, they
    may just glean sufficient information to think that I'm
    about to stop the wifes clock and plant her under a new patio.

    I'll pop back in later and throw some more avcat on the
    compost heap....see what happens. :D
  15. I can't find the thread.

    Which forum is it in?

  16. Scroll down to "The Lounge" and look for thread entitled "Beware of the flowers"

    (And don't (repeat) don't stitch me fun I've had on www in a long time!)
  17. Snowdrop just posted this,

    "Huh ............ guess we will all be watching the papers and news now ........... Florist dies suspected poisnoning .............
    Well ya did get the ingredients handed to you on a plate "

    We have to get them going!
    How do you want to play the next move Billy?
  18. I have just thrown in a curve ball and said it would be
    a good idea to use all those poisonous flowers as
    decoration for a *Goths Wedding*. That is if Health
    & Safety would allow it.

    (Chortle Chortle)
  19. I have just been bollocked by someone called "PinkLily" (MasterFlorist)
    who was upset at the way I worded the fact that the wife has gone
    back to work. (She hasn't by the way......this is all so surreal)

    Should she have asked permission then sorry but I just feel thats a very sexist way of saying the your partner as gone back to work

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