The Great Porn giveaway

shellbackmac

Lantern Swinger
How times have changed...recently moved out of barracks after a brief stay after a house sale, while I was loading the motor realised that my large collection of 'Frankie Vaughan' wouldn't be appreciated by the wife (boring cow) and as I was giving up being a VM it was time for me to say a tearful goodbye to an old friend. Bearing in mind this was a substantial amount of material that had looked after me on a boat, in Guzz and latterly in Pompey I was keen for it to be passed on to another careful owner who would keep it in pristine condition, no sticky pages etc and as a good matelot just to look after fellow VM's. I was shocked to learn that todays jack or certainly the ones I tried to handover my scud library to aren't interested in paper porn anymore. Everyone I tried to pass it to gave me a pitying look and explained that their laptop was topped up with filth and that mags were a thing of the past. My protestations as to how it must be tres difficult to take your computer into the FWD trap for an on watch 'Barclays Bank' were ignored. Consequently with a heavy heart but the prospect of improved eyesight the main source of my comfort over several years was given an unceremonious funeral into the block skip. Before anyone says I should have left it in my cabin, on the landing etc you have to realise that Senior Rates accom nowadays is heavily family orientated so leaving 'Weapons of Ass Destruction' lying around is a no no. Anyway if you fancy a look, check HMS NELSON's SR wheelie bins its bound to be still there!
 

2badge_mango

War Hero
You could have taken it to the local charity shop. Some of us elderly charity shop browsers wouldn't mind forking out a few shekels, after suitable discussion with the grey haired jezebel behind the counter, for a decent addition to our "hidden in the wardrobe" library.

2BM
 

navyeo60

Lantern Swinger
wardmaster said:
My wife once found such a magazine in my wardrobe. "What do you want that for?" she said. There's no answer to that really.

Research into a) a book I'm writing or b) a film I'm starring in, seem to be the in vogue get out clauses WM. :thumright:
 

brigham600

War Hero
I had the same thing when I left Drake barracks last year. I just left it on a set of chester draws next to the lift on the 2nd floor of Cunningham block. So I imagine someone is now the proud owner of all my old 'Escorts, Clubs and Razzles' :)
 

Cloggie

Lantern Swinger
wardmaster said:
My wife once found such a magazine in my wardrobe. "What do you want that for?" she said. There's no answer to that really.

Women in general would fail any attempt understanding the importance for a bloke to own a few of those mags. I once told Mrs.Cloggie that it kept me sane on ex and not getting any"Matelotic :hump: thoughts ". ^~
 

fails_as_is

Lantern Swinger
Book Reviewer
there should be a resurrection of the porn stash, especially in the more transient messes, whenever I'm just visiting for a night, I'm often delighted to be witness to the odd "dutch miracle", upon opening the drawer... better than the gideon's bible, anytime!
 

slim

War Hero
fails_as_is said:
there should be a resurrection of the porn stash, especially in the more transient messes, whenever I'm just visiting for a night, I'm often delighted to be witness to the odd "dutch miracle", upon opening the drawer... better than the Gideon's bible, anytime!

Gideons bibles are placed in hotel rooms by members of the Gideons society in an effort to spread the word. Rumor has it that the best nightclubs and brothels in the vacinity are normally written at the back.

Now why not have a Tossers society where members can leave their unwanted porn in messdecks, dining halls and other places where it will be guaranteed to give pleasure to the finder. :thumright:
 

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