Hello all, I am off to France tonight for two weeks of fun with Her Majesty's finest Reserve Forces. I will be spending 85% of my time sitting in a hole under a piece of chicken wire, observing stuff. 5% of my time will probably be spent tabbing around and letting off blank rounds in the general direction of the French Army (Chassuers Les Alpins, the ones with the giant berets). For the remaining 10% of my time I may have to interact with some natives. Short of going on the obligatory school trip aged 12, and trying to smuggle a flick knife and a load of bangers back into the UK, my experience with the onion eating types is fairly limited. Does anyone have any useful tips or phrases that may help me if I bump into any of them? I already know how to order a beer so that is 99.9% of my bases covered but what about the rest? I'm kind of hoping I will end up in a barn and be looked after by the beautiful daughter of the Farmer who will hide me from the marauding hun, I'm pretty sure this kind of thing still happens.