The French - Assorted Thoughts

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by The_Caretaker, Jan 5, 2011.

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  1. "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these
    drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by
    prostitutes." Mark Twain.

    "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one
    behind me." General George S. Patton.

    "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your
    accordion." Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.

    "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
    Marge Simpson

    "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure" Jacques Chirac,
    President of France "As far as France is concerned, you're right." Rush

    "The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is
    sitting in Paris sipping coffee." Regis Philbin.

    "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any
    better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit
    outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more
    stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whisky I don't
    know." P.J O'Rourke (1989).

    "You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the
    1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the
    face for it." John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona.

    "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he
    hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French,
    people." Conan O'Brien

    "I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get
    Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of
    France either" Jay Leno.

    "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into
    Paris under a German flag." David Letterman

    Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada.
    Ted Nugent.

    War without France would be like ... uh .. World War II. Anon.

    "The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that
    says 'First Iraq, then France.'" Tom Brokaw.

    "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its
    national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the
    Nazis?" Dennis Miller.

    "It is important to remember that the French have always been there when
    they needed us." Alan Kent

    "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for
    an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and
    a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." Argus Hamilton

    "Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being
    advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot.
    Dropped once.'" Rep. Roy Blunt (MO)

    Raise your right hand if you like the French ... raise both hands if
    you are French.

    Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered
    the city in WWII? A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?

    "Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not
    known, it's never been tried." Rep. R. Blount (MO)

    "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII?
    And that's because it was raining." John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.

    The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the
    London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to
    Hide. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and
    Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent
    fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling
    their military.

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