The Devil Made Me Do THis..!!!

Discussion in 'The Gash Barge' started by josiecats, Jun 6, 2007.

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  1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    * Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a

    * Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all
    right now.

    * The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

    * To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

    * When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

    * The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at

    * A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

    * A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened

    * Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

    * We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

    * When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U C L A.

    * The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

    * The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky

    * The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

    * If you take a laptop computer for a run, you could jog your memory.

    * A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

    * What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)

    * A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

    * Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

    * A backward poet writes inverse.

    * In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count
    that votes.

    * A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

    * If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.

    * With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

    * Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A -flat miner.

    * When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

    * The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

    * A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum

    * You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

    * He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

    * A calendar's days are numbered.

    * A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

    * A boiled egg is hard to beat.

    * He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

    * A plateau is a high form of flattery.

    * Those that gets too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

    * When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

    * When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

    * Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

    (i did not write these,, a friend sent them to me)
  2. i did not write these,, a friend sent them to me)
    ____________Are you sure it wasnt your CPN ?
  3. ok i bite... whats a CPN? :afro:
  4. Community Psychiatric Nurse

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