Navy Net - Royal Navy Community

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

The day I caught my dad cracking one off

Took my little black hound for a walk this morning he stopped and started licking his little red lipstick and I suddenly had a flashback about my long dead old man.
Stans attendance record at school wasn't the best in the world and as usual I legged it back home after ma and pa left for work, big plans to go fishing better than fcuking math and RE so getting my gear together finding some luncheon meat for the big Chub and Barbel in the Ribble I looked out the window to see my old man coming down the street.
I knew he would kick ten bells out of me so I legged it upstairs and don't ask me why but I hid in the wardrobe in mum and dads bedroom. Fcuk me I hadn't been there 5 mins when dads gets into bed and starts cracking one off with a wank mag from under the matress.
What the fcuk do you do I was shaking like a shitting dog I mean he would have kicked fcuk out of me for skipping school but catching him having a wank - well they would never find my body.
You guys ever caught your parents doing anything disgusting?? anything anal would make my day;-P
 

Rumrat

War Hero
All I can offer is my old man catching me.
He was supposed to be on a 2 until 10 shift, so I came home in the afternoon with this bird. We gets down to it and I'm diggin out like a Niga and he puts his head round the door. I thought frig it and carried on. When we gets downstairs he says"Seems you two like each other, hope you are protected, I ain't bringing up any strays.
He winked, I grinned and she blushed, then ditched me. Oh dear.:)
 

2_deck_dash

War Hero
As a youngish teenager, I remember wanting to go into my dad's loft to look at a guitar that was up there. I kept asking the old man if he would go up and get it down for me, so I could see if it was worth doing up. He kept saying he'd do it later and eventually I got pissed off, I offered to get it myself but he kept saying I couldn't for various reasons i.e. it was dangerous (to be fair it was, there is no ladder and you have to stand on the bannister), or I wouldn't be able to find the guitar etc. etc.

When he wasn't looking I decided to go up there anyway and climbed up. Inside I found an Aladdin's cave of porn (well not really, about three or four tatty copies of Mayfair) it was then that I realised why he wouldn't let me go up. He caught me as I was climbing back down and we exchanged knowing glances with him mentioning something like, ''oh yeah, I should probably throw those old magazines away.''

The guitar was fucked and ended up in the bin.
 
Did a spitroast with my younger brother and some bint after 10 pints of Boddingtons, mum and dad were always protective of me when I was home on leave so knowing they would be listening for me and my Bro's footsteps on the stairs I gave the bint a piggyback up to the bedroom she caught us 3 next morning no black pudding or fried mushrooms for breaky but lots of shit eating grins between me and younger Bro.
 
As a youngish teenager, I remember wanting to go into my dad's loft to look at a guitar that was up there. I kept asking the old man if he would go up and get it down for me, so I could see if it was worth doing up. He kept saying he'd do it later and eventually I got pissed off, I offered to get it myself but he kept saying I couldn't for various reasons i.e. it was dangerous (to be fair it was, there is no ladder and you have to stand on the bannister), or I wouldn't be able to find the guitar etc. etc.

When he wasn't looking I decided to go up there anyway and climbed up. Inside I found an Aladdin's cave of porn (well not really, about three or four tatty copies of Mayfair) it was then that I realised why he wouldn't let me go up. He caught me as I was climbing back down and we exchanged knowing glances with him mentioning something like, ''oh yeah, I should probably throw those old magazines away.''

The guitar was fucked and ended up in the bin.
Readers letters were on brown paper in the middle pages of Mayfair cracked many a good wank not realising it was some old wrinkled biddy writing them
 

Topstop

War Hero
Found 5 Fiesta readers wives in the area 25 - 5 years since, 1 WH Smiths ,1 in Barclays, 1 at the Onestop, 1 at the main Post Office and 1 a client 8O o_O
 

Drakey

War Hero
Heard about a guy who was cracking one off in his bedroom. When he finished he found a cup of tea on his bedside locker that his mum had left for him. He never even knew that she had entered his bedroom.
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
Heard about a guy who was cracking one off in his bedroom. When he finished he found a cup of tea on his bedside locker that his mum had left for him. He never even knew that she had entered his bedroom.

That sounds like a confession to me just like "it's not for me, it's for my mate"
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Book Reviewer
1987, HMS Bristol, 3P "Zoo" Tas Mess: cleaning up for Chefs, which included the tiny Heads next door, with the single cubicle.

Knocked on the locked door a couple of times, but no response. Eager to finish the cleaning, I stepped up to see who was inside...

Baby Tiff from 4R Mess, wearing a Pusser's wire hanger around his head like a tricorn hat, with the hook bend down. On which was the centrespread pull out from a fourth hand "Reader's Wives" grot mag, and he was clearly enjoying the experience.

Did I spare his embarrassment? Of course not - I went next door to the Mess and got the rest of the lads to come and have a look!! :twisted:
 

tug1970

Lantern Swinger
I have never caught my dad cracking one off, I have always known he is a fcuking wanker.:-D:hello1:
But I have been caught a few times.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
MoD_RSS Tax avoidance - don't get caught out MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Government steps in to help homeowners caught up in 'EWS1' process MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Government steps in to help homeowners caught up in 'ESW1' process MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Caught on camera – 10,000 tailgaters spotted in just two weeks MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Ban for manufacturing director caught breaching disqualification MoD News 0
MoD_RSS AAIB Report: Guimbal Cabri G2, helicopter caught fire and was destroyed MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Have you caught a Pacific pink salmon in England? MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Fines for anglers caught flouting the law MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Trucker making mobile card payment caught by HGV supercabs MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: UK aid for children caught up in Cameroon conflict MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Pair caught fishing illegally land over £1200 in fines and costs MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Cockwells Nursery landowner allowed waste hoard which caught fire MoD News 0
vauxhall Don't get caught out .. Finance & Pensions 21
G Daily Mail caught lying again. How long can they get away with it? Current Affairs 31
MG Maniac Don't get caught fancying pigeons! Diamond Lil's 8
stan_the_man Goglebox just caught up on the series fcuk me recommended Diamond Lil's 9
soleil Mail: "Welcome Home Daddy: Emotional Scenes Caught On Camera As Frigate Returns Home" Current Affairs 3
soleil Mail: "Chinese Hackers Caught Trying To Steal Secrets Of Our New Stealth Fighter" The Fleet Air Arm 0
frogman007 Blackrat's Brothers Get Caught! The Quarterdeck 9
janner Been caught out, try this bloke Diamond Lil's 3
MG Maniac New Mexico State Trooper caught on camera bonking on car bonnet! Diamond Lil's 21
O Bin Laden Caught Shagging Sheep Blue Jokes 0
2_deck_dash I think I've caught the gay again. Diamond Lil's 38
stan_the_man When did you get caught out Diamond Lil's 3
soleil Guardian: Our Defence Policy is caught between Pride & Guilt Current Affairs 6
Merlin28 Just got caught Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 17
Shackles_and_Flags Caught out by Facebook!! The Gash Barge 17
Blackrat Caught Thrapping? RR Greatest Threads 39
sgtpepperband Seven sailors are caught out in navy's drug tests Current Affairs 30
Grog_Rat Getting caught wanking Diamond Lil's 29
trehorn Finally found out where i caught the bug! History 7
L Oh yes, caught me out good and proper Diamond Lil's 16
andym Man caught with goat Diamond Lil's 6
SILVER_FOX 'Soldier ghost' caught on camera Current Affairs 9
janner They've caught up with Golden Rivet The Gash Barge 2
O Man caught with his c*ck in compromising position Current Affairs 10
S ideas to really p*ss someone off without getting caught!! Diamond Lil's 56
slim Youths caught with knives are fined and back on street Diamond Lil's 1
slim More than 25,500 caught speeding Diamond Lil's 1
slim Train fare dodger caught in uniform Diamond Lil's 3
soleil Daily Mail: "Proud Dad Gordon Ramsay Reveals Son Jack, 20, Has Joined The Royal Marines" The Corps 5
C Cannot find my dad.! History 8
T I cannot find my Dad !!! The Fleet Air Arm 4
B Dad was on schooner Zuoduchos Pigi in WW2 The Fleet 0
C Advice for my dad - wanting to join RFA 1
S Certificate of service - my Dad History 4
sweetpea 'I was told to pay death duty on Dad's medals'. Current Affairs 14
muskovardo Dad having type 2 diabetes - Will this affect me in my medical Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 12
Ageing_Gracefully Book competition: Dad's War by Chris Tarrant Competitions 17
S How did my dad get home? History 4
Similar threads


















































Latest Threads

New Posts

Top