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The Crab


War Hero
Douglas the humble Crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were
madly, deeply and passionately in Love. For months they
enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Douglas in tears.
"We can't see each other any more..." she sobbed.
"Why?" gasped Douglas.
"Daddy says that crabs are too common," she wailed. "He claims
you are a mere crab, and a poor one at that, and crabs are
the lowest class of crustacean and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can only walk sideways."

Douglas was shattered, and scuttled sidewards away into the
darkness to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion.

That night, the great Lobster ball was taking place. Lobsters
came from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the
lobster Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father's side, inconsolable.

Suddenly the doors burst open, and Douglas the crab strode in.

The Lobsters all stopped their dancing, the Princess gasped
and the King Lobster rose from his throne.

Slowly, painstakingly, Douglas the crab made his way across
the floor.......and all could see that he was walking, not
sideways............but FORWARDS.........Yes FORWARDS, one
claw after another!!

Step by step he made his approach towards the throne, until he
looked the King lobster in the eye.

There was a deadly hush..................................

For quite a while...........................

Finally, the crab spoke.......

"*, I'm pissed."
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