The Chavs Have Arrived.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by finknottle, Jun 17, 2008.

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  1. Having just returned from the UAE where I was accommodated in one of the excellent 5* hotels it is my sad duty to report that over the last 10 years or so the quality of guests using these establishments has fallen spectacularly. To make my point I will list a few of their shortcomings below.

    1. Smart casual for dinner does not mean a football shirt and trainers, even if they did cost £200

    2. When transiting the lobby area they do not seem to be aware that a bikini or swimming trunks is just not acceptable attire.

    3. They have no understanding of the structure of a dinner menu; you do not start with dessert, neither do you spoon food from your plate into your dining companions mouth.

    4. Many of them seem unable to negotiate the finer points of eating an oyster; you do not scrape out the meat with a fork, and then pretend to vomit when you have placed the delicacy in your mouth.

    5. Switching your mobile to silent mode when dining seems beyond them.

    I could go on but to summarise it seems that the wrong sort now have far too much. disposable income.
  2. And there was me thinking that standards must have gone up since I stopped jetsetting arround the world on business.
  3. Good point.

    I have to say the same is becoming true in Singapore - particulary in the tourist haunts such as Raffles. Why anyone would want to stay there at exhorbitant prices when the place is crawling with fat septics and Brits on a quick stopover beats me!

    Thankfully there are other areas apart from Orchard Road etc.

    If anyone wants details please submit a full CV so we can vet you and place in the appropriate place.

  4. I was politely told to piss off "Not to be coming in here thank you" for wearing top of the range walking sandals by the Indian bovver boy on the door.
  5. Reckon you tried to get into the residents part of the hotel BP. In fairness to them they do try and keep the tourist area separate from the resident area.

    The Long Bar (as is today) can be accessed from all sides of the complex without having to walk through the front door and is full of the folk I described paying a fortune for their Singapore Slings - which is a pretty nasty drink anyway!

    Mrs McC and I stayed at he Eastern and Oriental in Penang which was the sister hotel to Raffles a couple of months ago and to be honest it was more relaxing than Raffles. When we came back to Singers we went to Raffles for a drink and were not that impressed but having said that I have had a Sunday Curry Lunch in the main hotel and it was good.

  6. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I spent a couple of days at Raffles in Singapore several weeks ago and have nothing bad to say about the place. No one judged me or Mrs. SPB on our attire, and we were permitted free access to all areas of the hotel.

  7. Now the Long Bar has been moved I think you could get in wearing a jock strap and bowler hat.
  8. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Apologies for the YouTube link, but there is simply no way that I could ever resist this one…

    A public school was at the centre of a fierce row recently after pupils appeared in a spoof video beating and shooting tracksuit-clad teenagers and engaging in a pursuit they called “chav huntingâ€. Glenalmond College in Perthshire, whose old boys include Robbie Coltrane and the Duke of Argyll, was accused of arrogance after students were shown posing as young aristocrats chasing their social inferiors across the countryside before shooting them using a replica shotgun.

    'Chav Hunt' aka 'Class Wars'

    Now I have plenty of love for my fellow man, but when I survey the ‘wildlife’ that occupy the streets of dear Blighty these days, I see no reason why DEFRA doesn’t allow us to control chav numbers under the General Licence system, pretty much in the same manner as we control, say, rabbits. After all whilst I have yet to see a rabbit decked out in full Burberry check, just like chavs, if left unchecked (and rabbits do breed like chavs) they are immensely destructive.

    In the video, entitled 'Class Wars', young gentlemen in perfect riding attire are seen on horseback swigging champagne before setting out on their hunt. They come across a group of chavs, dressed in the tell-tale Burberry caps, tracksuits and designer trainers of Britain’s white underclass, chasing them along a country lane before rounding on one of them. As the chav lies on the ground, one of the riders dismounts and prods him with a cane while a hound sniffs at him.

    As the video reaches its conclusion, the chavs are seen running for their lives across a lawn while a double-barrelled shotgun picks them off one by one and they tumble to the ground in slow motion. To rousing classical music, a pair of young aristocrats prod a chav with their guns, looking pleasantly satisfied as they assure themselves that he is dead.

    Now the issue isn’t whether this is in good taste or not; far more - what is the best load for your 12-guage for driven chav? I’d have thought that something along the lines of 00-buck, however it might prove a little too... errr, 'punchy' in an English "side-by-side". No doubt some of you will have your own ideas on this particular topic.

  9. In the old days a bounty would be paid for killing vermin. Perhaps it is possible to petition Downing Street for it to be re-introduced for Chavs.
  10. :sleepy4:
    Oh look, more "Good old days" posts, having been brought up in Dubai, I can assure you this isn't a new thing, many expats behaved in this way mobiles aside obviously. I trust you complained then? And if not why not?
  11. I'm pleased to report that whilst cruising for fat jucy puffins off Iceland a fortnight ago, the cruise liner I was on and always travel with these days (Fred Olsen lines) ENFORCES its dress code in the restaurants (though they have areas for casual dressers) and turn away transgressors whatever age they are. :)
  12. Excellent idea,we could have a national 'Chav Hunt' day as the next bank holiday.

    Prizes given for most killed or the most unusual way they are done in.

    It used to be 10 shilling for a squirel tail, what price for a chav?? :thumright:
  13. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I'm all for having a "Big Fact Hunt"... :thumright:
  14. I was brought up with the rule that one should only hunt what one is going to eat.

    I know facts can be consumed, but are Chavs actually edible and if so are they tasty? Some recipies would be welcome! :thumright:
  15. Ooops! If we are going to hunt chavs then it is best to start at the top of the tree.
    Sadly them up there have more opportunity to shoot back than those who live on the lower out!
  16. And here's me thinking that snobbery was exclusively a Conservative party member trait. WTF was a practising socialist doing holidaying at a 5* hotel in the UAE? So much for party principles! :thumright:

    Have a wonderful day finknottle
  17. Perhaps he had stopped practising socialism for the week :thumright:

    After all we all need a sabatical :thumright:
  18. Where can you get these sabatical things from? I want one if there free?
  19. At present they are a short supply item, the government are trying to stop them. Basically there atr fer too many Chavs taking sabaticals from work and collecting government money for doing sweet FA :money:
  20. You could say I was on a mission to photograph every corner of the Island so the nice man may have thought I was a papa thingy type looking for celebs.

    Now when I was a lad on the farm we used to go hunting for rats! We killed but never ate. What makes a chav special???

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