The Best Put Down Line You've Heard

tug1970

Lantern Swinger
#1
This one was used last night down my local not to me though it did make me smile . I work with special needs not shag em now p**s off.
 

jjp23

Lantern Swinger
#2
This one made me laugh "Sorry i don't speak twat!".

Not quite a put down but similar:

Girl to my mate: "I bet you are great in bed?" (said whilst rubbing his little mate)

Mates reply: "No, i'm shit so i wouldn't bother."
 

wurz

Lantern Swinger
#8
A conversation between out Lynx pilot and a yank who flew a Tomcat at McDill 91 0r 92:

Woo "Hello I'm the pilot"
Yank "Are you a real pilot or do you just fly helicopters?" :D
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#9
My mate Dave's a gobby twat and he calls himself, "The King of the Putdowns".

Not any more - I took his dog down the vet's this morning and said it had rabies.
 
#14
While out in Dunfirmline in refit one of the lads in my mess was getting on really well with one of the lasses in the bar until he says to her 'You smell really nice' que a confused look on this lasses face until he continues 'yeah, did you f****** run ere?' As you can probably guess he wasnt getting much further with said lass especially after she floored him
 
#19
jjp23 said:
This one made me laugh "Sorry i don't speak twat!".

Not quite a put down but similar:

Girl to my mate: "I bet you are great in bed?" (said whilst rubbing his little mate)

Mates reply: "No, i'm shit so i wouldn't bother."
Have just used the sorry i dont speak twat one in the office
Poor civvy cnut was nearly crying
 

jjp23

Lantern Swinger
#20
seenoffteefcuk said:
jjp23 said:
This one made me laugh "Sorry i don't speak twat!".

Not quite a put down but similar:

Girl to my mate: "I bet you are great in bed?" (said whilst rubbing his little mate)

Mates reply: "No, i'm shit so i wouldn't bother."
Have just used the sorry i dont speak twat one in the office
Poor civvy cnut was nearly crying
Nice. It usually works like a dream.

Another good one to shut mongs up, it works better when a lot of other people are around and listening - "It is nice to see that you have taken time out to publically embarrass yourself.â€
 
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