The Art of Repartee

#1
Bloke goes into the library and asks for a book about the art of repartee. It's lunchtime and the trainee librarian is at the desk and hasn't got a clue about what the art of repartee is.
"Well," says the bloke, "repartee is the skill of the quick come back, the witty remark." Blank stupidity remains on the assistant's face.
"I'll give you an example," says the bloke. "My brother in law, he's got the art of repartee. We all went to the circus and got front row seats. So when the clowns came on we were right in the firing line. One clown was working the audience and taking the piss out of people. He came up to my bother in law and said: 'Tell me sir, are you the back end of an ass?'
My brother in law, guardedly, says 'no'. The clown goes on: 'Are you, sir, the front end of an ass?'
My bother in law says: 'no' again.
'Then sir,' says the clown, 'you are no end of an ass!" To which my brother in law, as quick as a flash said:
'Why don't you **** off?'"
 
Last edited:

Taffd

Lantern Swinger
#2
Bloke goes into the library and asks for a book about the art of repartee. It's lunchtime and the trainee librarian is at the desk and hasn't got a clue about what the art of repartee is.
"Well," says the bloke, "repartee is the skill of the quick come back, the witty remark." Blank stupidity remains on the assistant's face.
"I'll give you an example," says the bloke. "My brother in law, he's got the art of repartee. We all went to the circus and got front row seats. So when the clowns came on we were right in the firing line. One clown was working the audience and taking the piss out of people. He came up to my bother in law and said: 'Tell me sir, are you the back end of an ass?'
My brother in law, guardedly, says 'no'. The clown goes on: 'Are you, sir, the front end of an ass?'
My bother in law says: 'no' again.
'Then sir,' says the clown, 'you are no end of an ass!" To which my brother in law, as quick as a flash said:
'Why don't you **** off?'"
No he didn't.

He said - '**** off, you red-nosed ****.'
 

Taffd

Lantern Swinger
#9
If you can say "red-nosed ****" why can't you say bl*ck-nosed ****? Or can you?
I can. Oddly enough though, clowns don't generally wear false black noses. Not even black clowns. or any other variety of skin-toned clowns. But just to show I can - black-nosed ****.
 
#10
Bloke goes into the library and asks for a book about the art of repartee. It's lunchtime and the trainee librarian is at the desk and hasn't got a clue about what the art of repartee is.
"Well," says the bloke, "repartee is the skill of the quick come back, the witty remark." Blank stupidity remains on the assistant's face.
"I'll give you an example," says the bloke. "My brother in law, he's got the art of repartee. We all went to the circus and got front row seats. So when the clowns came on we were right in the firing line. One clown was working the audience and taking the piss out of people. He came up to my bother in law and said: 'Tell me sir, are you the back end of an ass?'
My brother in law, guardedly, says 'no'. The clown goes on: 'Are you, sir, the front end of an ass?'
My bother in law says: 'no' again.
'Then sir,' says the clown, 'you are no end of an ass!" To which my brother in law, as quick as a flash said:
'Why don't you **** off?'"
For brother in law read Eli J Witney.
 
#12
Eli J Witney master of quick wit and repartee.

Twas a joke to really piss off your oppos, punch line was the same '**** off' but you could drag the joke out for as long as you wanted, bloke goes to circus 3 nights on the trot blah blah, takes Eli along for final night to **** off clowns.
 
#13
Eli J Witney master of quick wit and repartee.

Twas a joke to really piss off your oppos, punch line was the same '**** off' but you could drag the joke out for as long as you wanted, bloke goes to circus 3 nights on the trot blah blah, takes Eli along for final night to **** off clowns.
Oh! Not really worth the effort Stirling, was it?
 
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