The 2017 Chrimbo thread


Lantern Swinger
I was directing a play and I thought I'd spice it up a bit by adding a lesbian shower scene. Some say I'm the fresh and bold thing theatre needs, others that I ruined the nativity...


Lantern Swinger
Apparently George Michael was on the donor register. Last Christmas he gave someone his heart.

I brought my girlfriend around the house for the first time this Christmas. It was awkward at first but eventually my wife got the picture and fucked off.

I can't help but think that last supper must have been a bit tense, with Jesus relating the bread to his broken skin and the wine to his own blood. I bet no one touched the meatballs.
Began the day with bacon butties and wobbly coffee. Later, drove up to the mountains to play in the snow - yep - white Christmas in Southern Spain! Only 3.5 degrees up there and a gnat's over 20 here on the coast. Just checking out one pressie, a bottle of Opihr gin - could be my new favourite!

Turkey and all bits coming ready nowish......

Happy Chrimbo troops!
Well, I got a brand new set of screwdrivers, a big bottle of JD, various cans of anti stink
and a rather nice cardigan, so I spent Christmas morning stabbing tins of Lynx with
various screwdrivers whilst pouring Jack Daniels over the sweater which I then set
on fire with a Zippo and the fumes from the Lynx cans. Came to work in my brand new
Pocahontas buffalo skin slippers which will be going through the office shredder shortly
and I seem to have a work bag toppers with 30 pence bars of Morrison plain chocolate -
another gift that will speed me on my way to morbid obesity and diabetes.
Wishing you all a joyous Boxing Day.