that's how the fight started ...

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Richie, May 26, 2008.

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  1. :rambo:

    How the fight started

    I rear-ended a car this morning on the way to work.

    I knew right then and there that it was going to be a REALLY bad day.

    The driver got out of the other car and wouldn't you know it, he was a dwarf.
    He stormed over to my car, looked up at me and said 'I'm NOT fucking happy!'

    So I said 'Well, which fucking one are you then?'

    And that's how the fight started.....
  2. PMSL. You're going to hell mate.

  3. Heard it.

    I, on the other hand, have had a really good day.
  4. Went to the chip shop last night....and feck me -
    I noticed that there was a Dwarf swimmin' about
    in the chip cooker....screamin' his head off.
    "What the gosh-darned-heck is all that about?", I asked
    "Something new on the menu", said the girl.
    ........."Small fry"
  5. There was a midget down in Texas who complained to his buddy that his testicles ached almost all the time. As he was always complaining about his problem, his friend finally suggested that he go to a doctor to see what could be done to relieve the problem. The midget took his advice and went to the doctor and told him what the problem was.

    The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor put him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough-the usual method to check for a hernia. "Aha!" the doc and putting his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip, snip, snip, snip on the right side then snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip on the left side.

    The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to get dressed and see if they still ached.

    The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around the doc's office and discovered his testicles were no longer aching. "Gee, what did you do, Doc?" he asked.

    The doc replied, "I cut two inches off the tops of your cowboy boots."
  6. FlagWagger

    FlagWagger Book Reviewer

    With all these posts on the vertically challenged...

    Remember people, on your next run ashore, don't try trapping the dwarf with an IQ of 50 or less .... its not big, and its not clever!
  7. But its fcuking funny :dwarf:
  8. This six foot nine American matelot comes across a
    three foot one RN rating, dressed up in his No. 1's -
    supping crap American ale, whilst on a foreign jolly.
    "Jeez!!...they let any Goddam body in the limey navy...!"
    On hearing this acid comment, the small sailor flies off
    his bar-stool, and drop-kicks Elmer straight out through
    the bar-room windows.
    "That was mighty impressive", says the bar-tender,
    "What do ya do on your ship buddy?"

    Mini-matelot picks up his jug of Bud, takes a chug, and says:

    "Dwarfare Branch"

    (Feel free to throw up)

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