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That fcuking cat

My father in law sadly died a couple of years ago, he was looking after a stray black fcuking thing he called "Lucky". Well the name might have been apt whilst he was looking after it, when wifey took in into our house I think he probably thinks his life has gone somewhat awry, he now has to rely on Stan to pamper his needs - do I fcuk - I hate it, noisey smelly scrawny fcuker eats like a fcuking horse and only weighs about 6 fcuking ounces.
I lie in bed at night wondering what new misery's I can bring into the fcukers life, I tempt him with cat treats, sad fcuk never learns then I grab the cnut and chuck him in the pond, I set the dog on him, craftily locking them both in the same room and listening to the hisses and yelps as they kick and scratch fcuk out of each other.
I used to consider myself a pet lover not now the only good cat is a fcuking roadkill cat.
Read previous posts ref shitting on my printer.
Why doesn't it take the hint and do a runner to a more sympathetic owner.
PS the missus doesn't know half of what I do to it while she's at work.:evil3:
 

howfen_lad

War Hero
LMFAO!!

If the little shit hasn't used 7 or 8 lives yet, you are in for a long ride. Next doors cats must be unkillable, i have tried all i can think of, poison, air rifle, staffie and strangulation...I will get the nasty sods sooner or later.
 

witsend

MIA
Book Reviewer
My father in law sadly died a couple of years ago, he was looking after a stray black fcuking thing he called "Lucky". Well the name might have been apt whilst he was looking after it, when wifey took in into our house I think he probably thinks his life has gone somewhat awry, he now has to rely on Stan to pamper his needs - do I fcuk - I hate it, noisey smelly scrawny fcuker eats like a fcuking horse and only weighs about 6 fcuking ounces.
I lie in bed at night wondering what new misery's I can bring into the fcukers life, I tempt him with cat treats, sad fcuk never learns then I grab the cnut and chuck him in the pond, I set the dog on him, craftily locking them both in the same room and listening to the hisses and yelps as they kick and scratch fcuk out of each other.
I used to consider myself a pet lover not now the only good cat is a fcuking roadkill cat.
Read previous posts ref shitting on my printer.
Why doesn't it take the hint and do a runner to a more sympathetic owner.
PS the missus doesn't know half of what I do to it while she's at work.:evil3:

Reading this and other threads Stan.

Where you touched?
 
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