That Bloody Dentist!

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Jenny_Dabber, Jan 18, 2007.

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  1. I woke up today with a throbbing absess having a party under one of my back teeth. Now I have never had any problems with my teeth, always been healthy but this morning was a killer, cheek swollan like a hamster on speed!

    So entering the dentist, not being able to talk without screaming, I show him my suprise. After 10 minutes of screaming at me why had I left it this long!! And all in greek, so took me a few minutes to figure out the score :lol: Anyway, I explain, as best as I could, before writing it down on paper, seemed to be the less painful and quicker option. The pain had started last night and that the results were like an alarm clock awakeing me at 10am.

    So he drains the absess; whilst screaming he replied ' shhh it's ok, slowly slowly', me thinking 'I'd ram it up your arse 'slowly slowly'. After a nice sight of blood on an empty stomach, the dentist said 'now lets pull that tooth' fark Mr, step away if you value your life!

    So he injected me twice with a local, tried to pull the tooth with a scream of 'Farking Malaka!', so he gave me a 3rd! Did it work, nope! It wasn't the tooth that hurt, it was the absess. He asked me what do I want to do (apart from taking the alcoholic route in life), seeing as I'd been put through enough pain, I thought 'no turning back', my reply;

    Just pull the [email protected] out

    So after 5 minutes of the worst pain I had felt in a long time, the dentist called in for his 2nd assistant and asked for 2 people in the waiting room to help. With my legs, arms and head being pinned down, I couldn't do anything else but scream! So after a total of 2hrs in the operating chair, everything was done and dusted.

    See, I asked for Voltral, the pain was horrid, he smile and said no! I reply, well, not nicely, then I ask for Tylex, no go either! So if it wasn't for him being my friend's dad, I think I'd be viewing the insides of a nice Cypriot jail for abuse.

    I'm usually such a nice lass but hell to the pain!!

    p.s. sorry for the spelling, still feeling a tad iffy!
  2. Well you spelt 'malaka' correctly.
  3. Of course :wink: My Greek has come a long way!

    Stimata Pousti :wink:
  4. My tale comes back from the schooldays and the NHS lot.

    Sat sitting in the corridor waiting to go into the dreaded chair. I heard this blood curdling scream. Nurse walking past smiling informed me looks like somebody has woken up to soon.

    Feck that I am outa here!!! I opened every door trying to find the exit this white gowned type asked if I wanted the toilets. No the way out! he pointed to this door and I was gone!!!

    Many years later I went to this private tooth wrencher and I woke up and he was still yanking away. Now what is that word??

    Next to Tony Blair dentists are not on the Christmas list!!
  5. Two Choices Dentist or Doctor

    1st choice Dentist: short period of possibly intense pain.

    2nd choice Doctor: "Sorry to tell you this but you will be dead in six months"

    No competition Dentist every time.

  6. Go and get some Oil of Cloves or Anbesol and stick it on the hole!
  7. Ermmm :???: :wink: An expensive way to get turned on :lol:

    Think positivly: what is pain after all, just a transient, at times agonising, neurological response and alert for your body, to either avoid what is causing it (eg dentists, PTIs, knife wielding religious fanatics) or do something about it (deal with the cause: run, shoot the PTI, tell the fanatic that Osama's your best mate),or subdue it (civvy's painkillers = paracetamol or pusser's painkillers = rum, and lots of it). I suggest a beakerful of pussers painkillers JD then ask a local skinhead (or Joss) to knock the offending tooth/teeth out.
  8. Always......
    I suffer from Hippotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia......but understand the pussers painkillers suggestion quite nicely!!! :grin: :grin:
  9. Lady gets into dentistd chair and says "I think I would rather have a baby than a filling"
    Make your mind up says the dentist, I need to know how to adjust the chair
  10. Hippotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia... I can't even pronounce it... does it mean you have a fear of large hippo shaped lawyers who use long and unpronouncible, quite possibly meaningless words, or you have a fear of long words like Forecastle, Shipshape and Riseandshineriseandshinethesunsschorchingyereyesoutlad ? :lol:
  11. A standard reply to the comment

    "But Doc i'm in pain!"


    "Pain is a Sensation!Sensations are to be enjoyed!Now get on with it!"
  12. It means I have a fear of long words!! True! :shock:
  13. I hope you've also got some lovely metronidazole - the antibiotic guaranteed to make you feel like shit (esp if you take some alcohol with it!)
  14. Tut,tut Angry!Thats not very nice! :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
  15. Remember a time when posted at Deal, had a bad tooth ache, Doc never liked us for some reason, anyway said he had no drugs to stop the pain, then said are you not a marine, replyed yes, two medics held me he pulled the tooth, did it fcuking hurt, never went back to him again

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