- Never squat with your spurs on.
- Good judgment comes from experience. A lot of experience comes from bad judgment.
- Lettin' the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
- If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.
- If you think you’re a person of influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.
- After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him...The moral: when you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
- Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
- There are two theories to arguin’ with a woman. Neither works.
- If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
- Never slap a man who’s chewin’ tobacco.
- It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
- Always drink upstream from the herd.
- When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don’t be surprised when they learn their lesson.
- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
- Never miss a good chance to shut up.
- There are three kinds of men: those that learn by reading, a few who learn by observation , and the rest who have to pee on the electric fence for themselves