Tesco Mongs

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Blackrat, Jan 28, 2010.

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  1. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Being the Captain of Industry that i am, i am the one who does the food shopping, as Mrs Blackrat would spend a fortune on random nonsense. Anyway, while at my usual Tesco's the other day, it struck me that the chap collecting the trolleys is what you may call a "Mentally Defective" person. He had massive earphones on and spent his time shouting hello to the patrons. His trolley handling skills were somewhat alarming as well. I also couldn't help noticing he had a massive blob of snot coming out of his nose and froth around his mouth. Fair play to him, but i worry when he pushes the trolleys close to my car as he never seems to be paying any attention.

    I went to another Tescos yesterday (i was passing and needed some booze) and as i parked my car, i saw that this trolley collector was the other fuckers twin, i shit you not. This bloke had a twitch like someone had dropped a fag butt down his back and he kept making strange noises and he smelt of cack.

    This brings me on to my question. Can anyone confirm if their local Tesco's are doing their bit for the community and employing mongs? Every little helps i suppose.
  2. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Dunno. But ask Tim - he's our resident expert on such matters... :thumbleft:
  3. Was he (or were you for that matter) wearing pyjamas?
  4. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Zoidberg? Is he a collector of trolleys? Good gracious.
  5. I shouldn't imagine they'd be too mongish or they'd never get them off the windows, but now you mention it I think all supermarkets employ "different" people for this.
  6. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Sadly not. Personally, i would like to go shopping in the rip covered in shit but no doubt those do gooders will say that's unacceptable as well. So much for freedom of expression. Tesco's also get the hump when you try to knock one out in the Lingerie section. Jobsworths.
  7. I've noticed a similar phenomenon in my local Morrisons...

    ....but I'm talking about half the customers :D
  8. They seem very restrained in your neck of the woods.

    All the above is positively encouraged in Cornwall.
  9. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Yeah. He and his family collect them from sewers; they clean 'em up and seel 'em back to Tesco (or Lidl in his case) for a few shekls, in order to support his crack habit. You didn't honest think that I impled that Tesco would employ someone like him, did you? God, you'll be telling me he's gonna join the RN next... 8O :D
  10. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    As is having sex with farmyard animals and members of ones family but hey, London is still in the dark ages.
  11. One and the same Blackrat, one and the same.
  12. I suspect he belongs to the same species as the cleaner at my gym. He is a stinking socially retarded arse, but worse than that, he is a talker - even when you don't reply, he talks about the most irrelevant crap, and repeats himself mutliple times. And he isn't even a good cleaner!

    Forced castration for these people is clearly best for everyone concerned.
  13. The employer probably gets some allowance/rebate/tax perk to employ them, as well as the good PR in being a socially responsible caring sharing touchy feely business.
    For the most part, from my observations, the differently abled supermarket employees seem to work harder than some of their hale and hearty colleagues, who stand around chatting about Bradgelina or whatever and seem mortally offended when asked to do their fecking job!
    "Anything else you can help me with? Yes, a bit less attitude, you High School dropout minimum wage drone, might be nice!"
  14. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    Big Birdy, member of the Rosyth refitting team. General dogsbody and fire watcher to any wielder working on the boat. Wielder causes a fire and tries to put out the fire with the extinguisher Birdy had brought to the job. Of course Birdy had brought the lightest extinguisher. :lol:

    Do large companies over a certain size have to by law employ the challenged?
  15. hahahah f*cking magic.

    one observation I've made is that the closer one gets to a city centre the more gene pool throwbacks there are.
  16. Same here. Ours has to tell you in the first sentence he is from Brum. You can usually work that out by the fact he sounds like he has just done a load of smack!!!

    However, he does a good job.
  17. We don't have a city centre in Cornwall so the gene pool throwbacks are fcuking everywhere :D
  18. You obviously go to the wrong shops!

  19. Ah the Tesco biff.

    My mum's local Tesco in Hertfordshire has one, as I'm sure every Tesco in the land has one.

    I don't know his name but he is a small wiry fellow in his late 40s, with a pencil thin tash and wire rimmed spectacles. He wears a reflective jacket that is 14 sizes too large and he can be found pushing huge trains of trolleys across the car park shouting and waving at people and generally scaring the children.

    It's a small town and word of any untoward activity soon spreads quickly. Tesco biff was found 'relaxing in a gentleman's way' in the customer toilets fairly recently and the local kids took to the story rather well. It makes my Sunday shopping trip so much more entertaining now, watching a mong pushing trollys while kids shout 'wanker' at him.
  20. There are two Sainsburys and a Morrisons local to me and all three employ blokes, to collect their trolleys, who have a “mental†disability. So yes, I think they are doing their bit for the community

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