A public school teacher was arrested today at Heathrow Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the
man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the Police with
carrying weapons of math instruction.

'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in
search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y'
and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined that they
belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates
in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to
every triangle'.

When asked to comment on the arrest, Gordon Brown said, 'If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have
given us more fingers and toes.'

Downig Street aides told reporters they could not recall a more
intelligent or profound statement by the Prime Minister. It is believed that
the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow----

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