A man wakes up in hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor says 'You're going to be OK, but, something happened. Your manhood was chopped off in the accident and we were unable to find it.' The bloke groans a bit, but the doctor continues: 'You've got Â£90,000 compensation and we have the technology to build you a new one that works even better than the old one. But it doesn't come cheap. It costs Â£10,000 per inch.' The bloke perks up, 'So it's for you and your wife to decide what size you want and how much you're prepared to spend. It's important she plays a role in the decision.' The bloke agrees and the doctor returns the next day. 'Have you spoken to your wife?' he asks. 'I have,' says the bloke. 'And has she helped you in making a decision?' 'She has,' says the bloke. 'So what's it to be?' asked the doctor. 'We're having a new kitchen' says the bloke.