Ten signals of areas 'on the up'

Discussion in 'The Gash Barge' started by slim, Feb 23, 2007.

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  1. So! Traffic Nazis and cattlebuses are signs of an area on the 'up & up' - nothing to do with grabbing as much money as possible from the poor public then.... ?
  2. Signs an area is spiralling downwards:
    (1). Front gardens full of bits of old Ford Capris
    (2). Outside Christmas lights still all over the houses in the middle of July
    (3). Jehovah's Witnessess declare it a "no-go" area
    (4). All green wheelie bins burned into twisted heaps of plastic goo
    (5). Every house has at least eight doorbells 'cos they've all been
    converted into bed-sits
    (6). The area is always being used in episodes of "The Bill" as an
    outside location, posing as a Crack Dealers home address
    (7). All the kids are called either, Wayne, Shayne, Dean, Darren,
    Shylah, Kylah, Tyler, etc etc
    (8). You have to play "dodge the dog-crap" when walking along
    the pavement
    (9). The local "Happy Shopper" shop has seven inch thick armour
    plated glass in its windows, fourteen outside security cameras,
    razor wire around the shelf with the Maxwell House coffee on it,
    and a sign on the door saying "All toddlers must remove their
    crash helmets, leave their pit-bulls outside and present three
    forms of identification before purchasing any crates of Tennents
    Super Lager"
    (10).The road is heavily marked with skidmarks because all the ten
    year old car thiefs use the area to practice their handbrake turns.
  3. Absolute wisdom :smile:

    However it is not on its way down iits already there, why do you think places like this are called SINK ESTATES
  4. Well, according to the criteria on the BBC link, Gosport is very much on the up! :shock:

    Ethnic Cuisine - Definitely
    Thicker telephone directories - All those new flats being built
    Crowded public transport - Fewer buses and more flats
    Better school results - Hmm, dunno about his one
    Neighbourhood watch schemes - Out of necessity I think
    More burglar alarms - Again, out of necessity
    More skips and scaffolding - Definitely
    Graffiti disappearing - Not really
    Planning notices appear - Once again, all those new flats
    More traffic wardens - Definitely since the introduction of parking charges

    Looks like my house will soon be worth selling :razz:
  5. Bigbaddog - Hahahahaha. PMPL, LOLS, Hahahaha!!!!

    And also when the police helicopter is always out and about, every morning, noon and night!!!!!!!!!
  6. Telegraph article C1962.

    "OXFAM in Fareham sells castoff dess suits, in Gospot they sell worn out boiler suits".
  7. If there are already down then are they not 'SUNK Esatates' ??

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