Ten signals of areas 'on the up'

So! Traffic Nazis and cattlebuses are signs of an area on the 'up & up' - nothing to do with grabbing as much money as possible from the poor public then.... ?
 

bigbaddog

Banned
Signs an area is spiralling downwards:
(1). Front gardens full of bits of old Ford Capris
(2). Outside Christmas lights still all over the houses in the middle of July
(3). Jehovah's Witnessess declare it a "no-go" area
(4). All green wheelie bins burned into twisted heaps of plastic goo
(5). Every house has at least eight doorbells 'cos they've all been
converted into bed-sits
(6). The area is always being used in episodes of "The Bill" as an
outside location, posing as a Crack Dealers home address
(7). All the kids are called either, Wayne, Shayne, Dean, Darren,
Shylah, Kylah, Tyler, etc etc
(8). You have to play "dodge the dog-crap" when walking along
the pavement
(9). The local "Happy Shopper" shop has seven inch thick armour
plated glass in its windows, fourteen outside security cameras,
razor wire around the shelf with the Maxwell House coffee on it,
and a sign on the door saying "All toddlers must remove their
crash helmets, leave their pit-bulls outside and present three
forms of identification before purchasing any crates of Tennents
Super Lager"
(10).The road is heavily marked with skidmarks because all the ten
year old car thiefs use the area to practice their handbrake turns.
 

slim

War Hero
bigbaddog said:
Signs an area is spiralling downwards:
(1). Front gardens full of bits of old Ford Capris
(2). Outside Christmas lights still all over the houses in the middle of July
(3). Jehovah's Witnessess declare it a "no-go" area
(4). All green wheelie bins burned into twisted heaps of plastic goo
(5). Every house has at least eight doorbells 'cos they've all been
converted into bed-sits
(6). The area is always being used in episodes of "The Bill" as an
outside location, posing as a Crack Dealers home address
(7). All the kids are called either, Wayne, Shayne, Dean, Darren,
Shylah, Kylah, Tyler, etc etc
(8). You have to play "dodge the dog-crap" when walking along
the pavement
(9). The local "Happy Shopper" shop has seven inch thick armour
plated glass in its windows, fourteen outside security cameras,
razor wire around the shelf with the Maxwell House coffee on it,
and a sign on the door saying "All toddlers must remove their
crash helmets, leave their pit-bulls outside and present three
forms of identification before purchasing any crates of Tennents
Super Lager"
(10).The road is heavily marked with skidmarks because all the ten
year old car thiefs use the area to practice their handbrake turns.
Absolute wisdom :smile:

However it is not on its way down iits already there, why do you think places like this are called SINK ESTATES
 
slim said:
No mention of posh car, empty wine bottles, or pussers reds

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6389467.stm

Suggestion on reasons for areas on the DOWN please
Well, according to the criteria on the BBC link, Gosport is very much on the up! :shock:

Ethnic Cuisine - Definitely
Thicker telephone directories - All those new flats being built
Crowded public transport - Fewer buses and more flats
Better school results - Hmm, dunno about his one
Neighbourhood watch schemes - Out of necessity I think
More burglar alarms - Again, out of necessity
More skips and scaffolding - Definitely
Graffiti disappearing - Not really
Planning notices appear - Once again, all those new flats
More traffic wardens - Definitely since the introduction of parking charges

Looks like my house will soon be worth selling :razz:
 

CRYSTALTIPS

Lantern Swinger
Bigbaddog - Hahahahaha. PMPL, LOLS, Hahahaha!!!!

And also when the police helicopter is always out and about, every morning, noon and night!!!!!!!!!
 

sulzer

Lantern Swinger
Telegraph article C1962.

"OXFAM in Fareham sells castoff dess suits, in Gospot they sell worn out boiler suits".
 

ukdaytona

War Hero
slim said:
Absolute wisdom :smile:

However it is not on its way down iits already there, why do you think places like this are called SINK ESTATES
If there are already down then are they not 'SUNK Esatates' ??
 
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