TEACHERS TO BE GIVEN LIST OF 16 YEAR-OLDS THEY CAN HUMP

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by slim, Oct 11, 2008.

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  1. And yet another top news item from the Daily Mash. The quality paper for the perverted and trainee perverted sailor.

    source:
    http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/...t-of-16-yearolds-they-can-hump-200810081309/

    TEACHERS TO BE GIVEN LIST OF 16 YEAR-OLDS THEY CAN HUMP
    TEACHERS are to be given a list of all the teenagers they can legally have sex with, it emerged last night.



    Pay attentionUnder current restrictions many teachers are confused about which 16 year-olds they can pursue and are instead forced to do it at home with their aging partners.

    Following a deal with the Department of Education teachers in England and Wales will be supplied with a 'hump list' and a 'no-hump list' of all the 16 year-olds in their local authority area.

    When in bed with one or more 16 year-olds, teachers will have to read names from the 'no-hump' list. If anyone replies 'here' the session must be abandoned.

    Bill Mckay, a sixth form tutor from Essex, said: "An average size town will have around three thousand 16 year-olds endlessly flaunting themselves in their short skirts and knee socks.

    "But because of these bizarre restrictions a teacher will only be able to have sex with as few as 2,940 of them."

    He added: "Why should my pupils be denied instruction in the arts of love from an experienced, middle aged man who has totally gone off his wife?"

    English teacher Elaine Bishop added: "It's very difficult to get to know these youngsters if you can't lean over them in class, lend them Lady Chatterley's Lover, and promise them at least a B+ in return for casual sex."
     
  2. I love that website!
    :D

    Have you read the story about people that can park?
     
  3. Great website with a fresh look at current newsworthy events :w00t:
     
  4. Gives me a daily laugh mate. Often end up visiting the site a few times per day.

    My favourite Gripe!
     
  5. And to top it all, the only Horoscope page that has some truth in it. :thumright:
     
  6. Poor Norman!!! o_O H'es been locked in a Jack-in-a-Box, awaiting release after the next General Election... :biggrin:
     
  7. Look out for a Daily Mail headline soon along the lines of TEACHERS CLAIM HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATION BECAUSE THEY WERE FORCED TO HUMP THEIR WIVES INSTEAD OF 16 YEAR OLDS

    Or something.
     
  8. Bloody hell i must have missed that department briefing.
     
  9. Where is this list? Am I on it?

    I've seen some of these teachers, they can have me for nothing.
     
  10. i have printed this of 60 times and tomorrow will be in the process of calling all my division in for a chat about this - want a guarenteed pass then read and inwardly digest - how much do you want to be a LH
     

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