SUBMARINERS TALES!!!!

[Deeps]

Come on lads lets have some good old ''Submariners dits''.We have a fair few old and bold knocking about on the Submariners forum , so lets ''pull up a bollard and sing us a sea shanty''

 

[Rea1]

As long as its not your Bomber patrol dits!

 

[Deeps]

Ok you asked for it ! We were doing a sponsored row on one of those rowing machine things.The task was to row from Faslane to New york . The machine was in the forends , well it was worked out that at a steady 32 rpm we could all row for 30 mins each and complete it . We were at sea on patrol so it passed the time . Anyway the sound room picked up a threat tonal that seemed to be a Victor 3 . We cracked on with the row .
Skipper showed a bit of interest but it tied in with the int report so was'nt too worried . We then lost the contact in some ''Bio'' .
The rowing was going well we all got into a routine , a good chance to make a bit of money for some kid's hospice near Loch Lomond . During the morning watch mr victor 3 turned up again , skipper was called .We cleared stern arcs a few times and he was still there , Sound room were totally confused as they could not get a bearing , the victor 3 was on 2007 and not on towed array .
Skipper called the boat to action stations and the contact dissappeared. We stood down after a few hours , got back into normal routine and carried on rowing and guess what the victor 3 turned up .Sound room and the CHOPS(S) didnt have a clue . Suddenly a big fat TAS rate ing piped up and said i know what it is . Yep you have guessed .A victor 3 has the same tonal 's as a standard rowing machine .
The reason we lost at first and still carried on with rowing was the rowing was blanked out by ''bio'' and ''shore noise''or so our sound room had said . So on a multi billion pound weapon like a Polaris submarine even the simpliest thing like a sponsored row can cause havoc .

I would like to add a disclaimer to any technical buffs out there ,if any of my technical info is in correct ,this due to me leaving the submarine service 12 years ago , and i have had to re tell the same story to my army mates on numerous times (having to simplify it).But it did happen cos i was there .

 

[diesel]

OK, here we go.
Falmouth, '84 or '85, HMS/M Otus alongside port side to. On another jetty is the Pollington ( Ton class minesweeper for the sprogs ). The jetties in those days were wooden.

We're ashore in our hotel's and decide on a DTS. So we go to our adopted pub and all the skimmers are there, no problem, good laugh etc. until one of my WEM's lobs a load of 2p coins at them and says " oy! skimmer, have a cup a tea on my substistence ". Needless to say it kicked off so I leapt in to calm things down. It was only 1400 so I suggestd we all meet up for a combined run ashore that evening as we were sailing at 0500 straight back to Dolphin.

So there we are waiting ( us lot had been in the British Legion all afternoon as the pubs were shut ) then they turned up on mass in togas. we, of course, were totally outdone but we had a wicked night of piss taking, dits, singing etc. The night ended with yours truly singing " My Way " ( sad I know ).

Now imagine; 0500Z Harbour Stations. Off we go straight back to Pompey on the roof, none of the usual hassle going past Portland, and arrive at Dolphin at approx 2200Z.

At Dolphin, STARBOARD side to, trot 1 you could see from the jetty, in big
white letters " WE DID IT OUR WAY LUV POLLY " all along the side of the casing. Obviously when you are on the casing or bridge you can't see it.

We wondered what all the cross channel ferries etc. thought.

Skimmers 1 Sundodgers 0

 

[function]

OK, here we go.
Falmouth, '84 or '85, HMS/M Otus alongside port side to. On another jetty is the Pollington ( Ton class minesweeper for the sprogs ). The jetties in those days were wooden.

We're ashore in our hotel's and decide on a DTS. So we go to our adopted pub and all the skimmers are there, no problem, good laugh etc. until one of my WEM's lobs a load of 2p coins at them and says " oy! skimmer, have a cup a tea on my substistence ". Needless to say it kicked off so I leapt in to calm things down. It was only 1400 so I suggestd we all meet up for a combined run ashore that evening as we were sailing at 0500 straight back to Dolphin.

So there we are waiting ( us lot had been in the British Legion all afternoon as the pubs were shut ) then they turned up on mass in togas. we, of course, were totally outdone but we had a wicked night of piss taking, dits, singing etc. The night ended with yours truly singing " My Way " ( sad I know ).

Now imagine; 0500Z Harbour Stations. Off we go straight back to Pompey on the roof, none of the usual hassle going past Portland, and arrive at Dolphin at approx 2200Z.

At Dolphin, STARBOARD side to, trot 1 you could see from the jetty, in big
white letters " WE DID IT OUR WAY LUV POLLY " all along the side of the casing. Obviously when you are on the casing or bridge you can't see it.

We wondered what all the cross channel ferries etc. thought.

Skimmers 1 Sundodgers 0

Good dit.

I recall hearing a dit when I was on the Lindisfarne in Rosyth bout 20 years ago, apparently a 'feud' between some skimmers and submariners resulted
in the ships crew turning to one morning to find a large black sillouhette of a submarine painted on their ships side !

Any truth in it ?

 

[diesel]

I'm not sure, but it was definitley like that in those days. There was never any animosity, just rivalry.

I was on Odin when she paid off for refit in 83'ish in Rosyth.

There WAS a ruck, and a laugh to go with it.

 

[clanky]

I seem to remember that fisticuffs was'nt unheard of.I was on a towed array leander that used Faslane quite often. The banter in the Neptune bar quite often turned into nuf-nuf outside the Imps.

 

[diesel]

A poxy skimmer in Faslane! what do you expect ?

you're lucky to be living son.

 

[clanky]

I think I,ve survived greater hazards.

 

[diesel]

Quick answer Clanky. It's 0450 in Hong Kong. I'm just back from the pub.

 

[clanky]

Don't worry mate, I tend to burble a bit after I've been to the boozer as well.

 

[Nutty]

OK, here we go.
Falmouth, '84 or '85, HMS/M Otus alongside port side to. On another jetty is the Pollington ( Ton class minesweeper for the sprogs ). The jetties in those days were wooden.

We're ashore in our hotel's and decide on a DTS. So we go to our adopted pub and all the skimmers are there, no problem, good laugh etc. until one of my WEM's lobs a load of 2p coins at them and says " oy! skimmer, have a cup a tea on my substistence ". Needless to say it kicked off so I leapt in to calm things down. It was only 1400 so I suggestd we all meet up for a combined run ashore that evening as we were sailing at 0500 straight back to Dolphin.

So there we are waiting ( us lot had been in the British Legion all afternoon as the pubs were shut ) then they turned up on mass in togas. we, of course, were totally outdone but we had a wicked night of piss taking, dits, singing etc. The night ended with yours truly singing " My Way " ( sad I know ).

Now imagine; 0500Z Harbour Stations. Off we go straight back to Pompey on the roof, none of the usual hassle going past Portland, and arrive at Dolphin at approx 2200Z.

At Dolphin, STARBOARD side to, trot 1 you could see from the jetty, in big
white letters " WE DID IT OUR WAY LUV POLLY " all along the side of the casing. Obviously when you are on the casing or bridge you can't see it.

We wondered what all the cross channel ferries etc. thought.

Skimmers 1 Sundodgers 0

Good dit.

I recall hearing a dit when I was on the Lindisfarne in Rosyth bout 20 years ago, apparently a 'feud' between some skimmers and submariners resulted
in the ships crew turning to one morning to find a large black sillouhette of a submarine painted on their ships side !

Any truth in it ?

Function

If you can get look at page 184 of "HM Submarines in Camera" 1901 to 1996 you will see a picture of the outline of a S/T Class Nuke, painted on the transom boot topping of HMS Scylla a Leander Type Frigate berthed astern a nuke boat in Faslane. The artist has made is fairly small hoping the skimmers will not notice it for a few months.

The story is true the facts may have been embelished to read large.

Nutty