Stricken with throat death?

blondemolotov

Lantern Swinger
#1
Evening chaps,

Do you feel like you've been deep-throating a sandpaper dildo?

Having been hit with accursed plague, or tonsillitis (last time I teach children the fucking germ-ridden cuntrags), I thought I'd share with you a rather delightful remedy! It fecking works for me, if you do not achieve required results, assume it is because you're a fuckwit who didn't do it right...
Note - I wouldn't advise this whilst on duty or around people you need to behave around... from personal experience I can tell you, I'm fubared.

So, ingredients -

Buttercup cough syrup
Pomegranate squash
RUM
Sugar
Water (if you're a pussy)
More rum

Have a play with the ratios, I find the more rum you put in the better, half a bottle or so (full bottle) seems to do the trick. Mix it all together and enjoy over ice or off someone's bellybutton, your choice.

Be warned - you will get cunted. Advised not to operate large machinery, be near internet, or people that annoy you.

Much love to all you little urchins out there.... I'm going to pass out in a gutter somewhere....

x
 

Magda

War Hero
Book Reviewer
#6
It was an escape awesome to behold, I can tell you.

I'm afraid I wasn't quick enough. Had to finish polishing the best cutlery set, you know.
 

blondemolotov

Lantern Swinger
#7
It was an escape awesome to behold, I can tell you.

I'm afraid I wasn't quick enough. Had to finish polishing the best cutlery set, you know.
Apologies for leaving you there old girl, I felt you;d enjoy whatever punishment BR had to offer after I left! ;) I'll come back for you after the wounds on my body have healed...
 

admiralscruff

Lantern Swinger
#8
MAGDA! NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*puts on retard helmet, dons suit of tin foil armour, with pots and pans to reinforce the armour. Grabs lump hammer from Scruffy Manor armoury, gets onto the steed (mah bicycle), and charges to the rescue*
 

Magda

War Hero
Book Reviewer
#10
Down Scruffs, leave her there for now, she;s having a good time...
Oh, it's quite alright Blondie, he's ever so earnest. It's rather sweet.

MAGDA! NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*puts on retard helmet, dons suit of tin foil armour, with pots and pans to reinforce the armour. Grabs lump hammer from Scruffy Manor armoury, gets onto the steed (mah bicycle), and charges to the rescue*
I appreciate your valour and bravery, kid, but Blackers with hear you a mile off with all that clanking armour. Bubble wrap might soften it a bit.

In the meantime, I'd better get started on polishing the lump hammers...
 
#11
Oh, it's quite alright Blondie, he's ever so earnest. It's rather sweet.



I appreciate your valour and bravery, kid, but Blackers with hear you a mile off with all that clanking armour. Bubble wrap might soften it a bit.

In the meantime, I'd better get started on polishing the lump hammers...
I disabled the security cameras on the way out, all you have to do is make it past the dogs and of course, the Master himself... I suggest a healthy dose of chloroform.
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#12
It's all a trick you know, girls. He wants you think you've escaped just to make the next part of the game more sickeningly fun. You've seen "Saw", right..?
 

Magda

War Hero
Book Reviewer
#15
Gah, you're so vanilla SPB. BR was the inspiration for "Saw". I think he owns part of the rights to the script.
 
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#18
Buttercup cough syrup
Pomegranate squash
RUM
Sugar
Water (if you're a pussy)
More rum

You really dont have to go to all that trouble,just try a sperm gargle,i hear it does the trick :)
 
#19
[video=youtube;yP1vSIOmCc4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yP1vSIOmCc4[/video]

In the dungeon-escape, I reckon this clip is a good prediction of what will happen.
George - Scruffles
Blackadder - Magda
Baldrick - Blondie
Baron Von Richthofen - Blackrat
Lord Flashheart - casting still open
 

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