Stricken with throat death?

blondemolotov

Lantern Swinger
Evening chaps,

Do you feel like you've been deep-throating a sandpaper dildo?

Having been hit with accursed plague, or tonsillitis (last time I teach children the ******* germ-ridden cuntrags), I thought I'd share with you a rather delightful remedy! It fecking works for me, if you do not achieve required results, assume it is because you're a fuckwit who didn't do it right...
Note - I wouldn't advise this whilst on duty or around people you need to behave around... from personal experience I can tell you, I'm fubared.

So, ingredients -

Buttercup cough syrup
Pomegranate squash
RUM
Sugar
Water (if you're a pussy)
More rum

Have a play with the ratios, I find the more rum you put in the better, half a bottle or so (full bottle) seems to do the trick. Mix it all together and enjoy over ice or off someone's bellybutton, your choice.

Be warned - you will get cunted. Advised not to operate large machinery, be near internet, or people that annoy you.

Much love to all you little urchins out there.... I'm going to pass out in a gutter somewhere....

x
 

Magda

War Hero
Book Reviewer
It was an escape awesome to behold, I can tell you.

I'm afraid I wasn't quick enough. Had to finish polishing the best cutlery set, you know.
 

blondemolotov

Lantern Swinger
It was an escape awesome to behold, I can tell you.

I'm afraid I wasn't quick enough. Had to finish polishing the best cutlery set, you know.

Apologies for leaving you there old girl, I felt you;d enjoy whatever punishment BR had to offer after I left! ;) I'll come back for you after the wounds on my body have healed...
 

admiralscruff

Lantern Swinger
MAGDA! NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*puts on retard helmet, dons suit of tin foil armour, with pots and pans to reinforce the armour. Grabs lump hammer from Scruffy Manor armoury, gets onto the steed (mah bicycle), and charges to the rescue*
 

Magda

War Hero
Book Reviewer
Down Scruffs, leave her there for now, she;s having a good time...

Oh, it's quite alright Blondie, he's ever so earnest. It's rather sweet.

MAGDA! NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*puts on retard helmet, dons suit of tin foil armour, with pots and pans to reinforce the armour. Grabs lump hammer from Scruffy Manor armoury, gets onto the steed (mah bicycle), and charges to the rescue*

I appreciate your valour and bravery, kid, but Blackers with hear you a mile off with all that clanking armour. Bubble wrap might soften it a bit.

In the meantime, I'd better get started on polishing the lump hammers...
 

blondemolotov

Lantern Swinger
Oh, it's quite alright Blondie, he's ever so earnest. It's rather sweet.



I appreciate your valour and bravery, kid, but Blackers with hear you a mile off with all that clanking armour. Bubble wrap might soften it a bit.

In the meantime, I'd better get started on polishing the lump hammers...

I disabled the security cameras on the way out, all you have to do is make it past the dogs and of course, the Master himself... I suggest a healthy dose of chloroform.
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Book Reviewer
It's all a trick you know, girls. He wants you think you've escaped just to make the next part of the game more sickeningly fun. You've seen "Saw", right..?
 
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