Stricken with throat death?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by blondemolotov, Feb 17, 2012.

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  1. Evening chaps,

    Do you feel like you've been deep-throating a sandpaper dildo?

    Having been hit with accursed plague, or tonsillitis (last time I teach children the fucking germ-ridden cuntrags), I thought I'd share with you a rather delightful remedy! It fecking works for me, if you do not achieve required results, assume it is because you're a fuckwit who didn't do it right...
    Note - I wouldn't advise this whilst on duty or around people you need to behave around... from personal experience I can tell you, I'm fubared.

    So, ingredients -

    Buttercup cough syrup
    Pomegranate squash
    Water (if you're a pussy)
    More rum

    Have a play with the ratios, I find the more rum you put in the better, half a bottle or so (full bottle) seems to do the trick. Mix it all together and enjoy over ice or off someone's bellybutton, your choice.

    Be warned - you will get cunted. Advised not to operate large machinery, be near internet, or people that annoy you.

    Much love to all you little urchins out there.... I'm going to pass out in a gutter somewhere....

    • Like Like x 1
  2. Has Blackrat not restricted your interweb access in the dungeon?
    Slack drills.
  3. Definitely in Blacker's dungeon then.
  4. I am, luckily I managed to overthrow the fucker using my rum-gained cunning and awesome ninja skills!
  5. CerealSpitting.png

    Ten Characters.
  6. Magda

    Magda War Hero Book Reviewer

    It was an escape awesome to behold, I can tell you.

    I'm afraid I wasn't quick enough. Had to finish polishing the best cutlery set, you know.
  7. Apologies for leaving you there old girl, I felt you;d enjoy whatever punishment BR had to offer after I left! ;) I'll come back for you after the wounds on my body have healed...

    *puts on retard helmet, dons suit of tin foil armour, with pots and pans to reinforce the armour. Grabs lump hammer from Scruffy Manor armoury, gets onto the steed (mah bicycle), and charges to the rescue*
  9. Down Scruffs, leave her there for now, she;s having a good time...
  10. Magda

    Magda War Hero Book Reviewer

    Oh, it's quite alright Blondie, he's ever so earnest. It's rather sweet.

    I appreciate your valour and bravery, kid, but Blackers with hear you a mile off with all that clanking armour. Bubble wrap might soften it a bit.

    In the meantime, I'd better get started on polishing the lump hammers...
  11. I disabled the security cameras on the way out, all you have to do is make it past the dogs and of course, the Master himself... I suggest a healthy dose of chloroform.
  12. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    It's all a trick you know, girls. He wants you think you've escaped just to make the next part of the game more sickeningly fun. You've seen "Saw", right..?
  13. As if we'd be so lucky...
  14. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Uh-oh! I can here BR coming now... :shock:


  15. Magda

    Magda War Hero Book Reviewer

    Gah, you're so vanilla SPB. BR was the inspiration for "Saw". I think he owns part of the rights to the script.
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2012
  16. I heard he got a 6-figure pay out when Saw used some of his trademark 'games'
  17. I can vouch for that, mmm good times...
  18. Buttercup cough syrup
    Pomegranate squash
    Water (if you're a pussy)
    More rum

    You really dont have to go to all that trouble,just try a sperm gargle,i hear it does the trick :)

  19. In the dungeon-escape, I reckon this clip is a good prediction of what will happen.
    George - Scruffles
    Blackadder - Magda
    Baldrick - Blondie
    Baron Von Richthofen - Blackrat
    Lord Flashheart - casting still open
  20. wal

    wal Badgeman

    Norway Chris, you're so right, HSG the best.

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