Stress

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Sharkey, Oct 17, 2013.

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  1. Done before
     
  2. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    I always look forward to your posts Sharkey.

    You're my favourite.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  3. Stress is an anagram of streets spelt incorrectly.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. exJenny

    exJenny War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    streets spelt incorrectly is an anagram of lepers licence trot trysts
     
  5. Sorry NS, since you came out, me being a Manc, I cant share the love
     
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    Gutted =-(
     
  7. Stress

    The mind over-riding the bodys basic desire to beat the living shit out of some ******** who obviously deserves it!


    Or for a flunky ...

    When serving a mess dinner to 40 officers and one of the bastards doesn't want soup!
     
  8. Adrenalin floods into your system, blood is withdrawn from extremities, pupils dilate, hearing and sense of smell are sharpened, you feel sick and need to empty your bowels to lighten your body, muscles are pumped up, you are now in fight or flight mode and ready to tell her indoors that you are going out with your mates and not shopping with her.
     
  9. Stress is shopping with misses and watch her claim she saved loads of money has she brought lots of bargains? When will she ever get it, enter shop with £100 and leave with nothing you have spent £100 and not saved a penny? Take deep breaths and breath slowly. Refer to MG's post
     
  10. Christmas is stress. Should be called Christstress or Stressmas. Now we've all got to womble about, matching presents to people, making sure that they all get the exact thing they want (i.e. spend the same amount on every member of the family or else bloodletting will ensue). Get the cards on time, make sure the other half is satisfied with your offerings (no garage forecourt flowers at the last minute), smile sweetly at all those vultures that are visiting for Christmas dinner, don't get rat-arsed and tell certain family members e-x-a-c-t-l-y what you think of them. Be happy with your mandatory socks and underarm deodorants. Go through the "And DON'T do what you did last Christmas" speech and promise to all the false gods in heaven and hell that you'll behave yourself whilst all those around you go into total meltdown after the sixth bottle of Lambrini is sucked dry. Cancel every Boxing Day visit, because they all now hate each other and wish everyone was ******* dead and, no matter what, be ready to admit that the failure of the annual Christmas Day get-together was all your ******* fault in the first place. Wake up the next morning - go downstairs to observe the ritual "tearing up of the family Christmas cards" ceremony and then start on the washing up.

    Now unless all members of this marvellous forum are distant relatives of The ******* Waltons - then I think I can safely say that this has most certainly happened to you at some time or another.
     
    Last edited: Oct 19, 2013
  11. ........Stress - the new "inboard back"
     
  12. we must be related or you have been spying on my home at x mass?

    I claim my £5 you must be the fairy on top of the tree always thought she was dodgydink
     
  13. Re-posted in the correct thread (I'm stressed)

    I'm so stressed that I posted this in the wrong fu**ing thread.

    Stressed out-to-shit at the mo' because I'm at work (Sunday) and having not that much to do - I'm thrashing my way through "Benji Bananas" on me tablet and CAN I **** AS LIKE get through the level that has all them tigers sleeping in the trees. Currently have a litttle over 10,000 bananas to exchange for power-ups but I really, really need to get into *World 6*.
    Stupid little pixelated monkey keeps getting twatted off his vines by the stripey little bastards.


    I can feel an ulcer coming on.
     
  14. At work too Billy.Stop playing that and watch 'Chorlton and the Wheelies' .Nostalgic, entertaining, and stress relieving.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  15. Sky Action presents "Skyfall" again. Observation:-

    The motorbike chase along the rooftops in Istanbul in "Skyfall" is almost a carbon copy of the chase along the rooftops in Istanbul in "Taken 2" (negative motorbikes)

    Skyfall.
    ========

    [​IMG]

    Taken II.
    =========

    [​IMG]

    (Must be noisy living under all them stuntmen)


    Now....Benji - you little bastard.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2013
  16. Billy ... you want to move onto an Island which is serviced by ferry companies who don't care about providing a service to the residents ... they just hike the fares up so no one can afford 'em and every courier firm treats it as an off shore island (and not a county that has a PO post code!

    End result .. no family comes to visit you at christmas other than people who you actually want to come see you (or are so rich so they can afford the fare) ... and because of the non existant postal service you don't get disappointed not getting cards from the family either!

    So ... following my recent RAS(L) to France a couple of weeks back now stocked up with plenty of cheap collapso so christmas can come as soon as it likes!
     
  17. Stress?

    House hunting completed. House purchase commenced. Offer accepted. My inbox overflows with E-mails from Legal Eagles who want to do me out of money with regards to conveyancing.

    Threaders with it all. I've got a thousand cardboard boxes to stick together and the contents of a garage to get to the new (old) house......................


    .....................and I haven't got any sheds.

    These next few days are going to fly by in a tornado of shouting, yelling, back-ache and lost kip. Now I've got to give 2 months notice on this gaff and beg for my deposit back.

    You lot wouldn't know stress if it jumped up and gnawed your starboard arse cheek off.
     




  18. Billy - stress out. Apart from the sensible advice from MG Maniac to live on an island (and not just the North Island) remember that Death is just Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
     
  19. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    Billy if you have any heavy lifting to do ask ExJenny and Wrecks to come around
     
  20. Like most (Male) human beings - I'm worth a ******* sight more brown bread than I currently am standing up and breathing in and out.
     

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