Stealth booze. Where does it come from?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by 2_deck_dash, Nov 19, 2010.

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  1. Like most matelots, I have a healthy drinking habit. I even have a cheeky little beverage cupboard. In fact the far left cupboard in my kitchen is a makeshift bar complete with wine rack, novelty bottle openers, straws, shot glasses and a cocktail shaker that I have used once.

    Among the bottles of vintage port, champagne and wine, I have a few decent whiskeys, some nice rum from Guyana and a big crate of Peroni Nastro Azzuro which is my beer of choice.

    If you delve a little deeper however, you'll find some complete and utter shite. Among my collection I have a bottle of strawberry wine, 3 cans of spesh, Bristol cream sherry, aniseed liquor, Advocat, some Bulgarian wine, ouzo, a variety of miniatures that appear to have been stolen from an aeroplane, some German schnapps type things wrapped in brown paper and a large bottle of Grande Duque Alba whatever the fcuk that may be.

    Now the thing is, I have absolutely no recollection of purchasing, 'borrowing' or liberating any of this shite. The missus rarely drinks and wouldn't have bought it. Where the fcuk did it come from? I have the odd soiree but I don't think any of my friends and acquaintances are the sort to bring that kind of shite to a party.

    I'm toying with the idea of making a mega death wet and seeing where the weekend takes me. Either that or I could take some of it round to my local tramp and let him crack on. Any other suggestions?

    What gash booze do you have kicking around?
  2. I've got a bottle of Cherry b, some weird orange ouzo and some advocaat. Where the cunt did they come from?
  3. What is up with that Advocaat shite anyway? It's like drinking egg yolk through a wank sock.

    Who buys it?
  4. Strawberry Vodka from Italy, it's about 20 years old, just tried a quick swig....tastes like nail varnish....

    Will swop for Cherry Brandy..used to get well pissed on that shit.
  5. Ooooh!

    I've also found something called Kum Qvat mavromantis, I have no idea what it is but it's 20% proof, also orange and appears to be from Corfu.

    There is also 3 individual bottles of ready made snowballs too, ques que le fuck?
  6. I quite like home made flavoured vodkas, basically you get a bottle of vodka and throw in some stuff.

    Eventually the vodka will take on the flavour. In the past I have experimented with tangerines, chocolate, raspberries, chillies and marijuana.

    All of them turned out pretty good.
  7. Us apparently.
  8. My missus is wondering what the fuk I'm playing at...but anyways,
    I've just found a bottle of Red Army vodka, comes in a bottle shaped like a 80mm shell, got given it by a Russian ex Colonel, who had spent his entire military career in some shit hole in the middle of nowhere, couldn't believe it when I told him of all the places I'd been...
  9. Have you had an parties/social gathering over yours? I found that's where the shite in my cupboard comes from.
  10. Not me shippers. I reckon it was the stealth booze fairies.

    They once left a whole bottle of Lambrini and half a packet of Lambert and Butlers in my mess at Collingwood.

    I love them.
  11. I'd hang on to that, sounds like a top gizzit.
  12. Feck...Hic hic fart snore ZZZzzzzzz

    Actually..just googled it and found the exact bottle for $29.99

    nuther voddy anyone....hic
  13. I've just unearthed a Beaujolais Nouveau - 2001

    It might have been a good year then but not many of them around now.....

    It still displays the original price "75cl", thats 'Clebbies' in old money, innit?

    Current Valuation please?
  14. 2DD,Im still laughing at your antics while at the helm of one of HM ships.As to stealth old man makes it. Hope no one from HMC&R is reading this,the black gang.. he refines it about six times through a sereis of copper pipes.When it's cool he puts in a load of sweets, brandy balls, in one and clove rock in the other.Glass bottels.leaves it for a few months.It's nectar.
  15. Creme de Menthe, the choice of all the ladies at one time. (Sticky greens anyone)

    Ill give it to the rabbit.
  16. try skittles or werthers original in yer vodka. The colour comes off the skittles and makes it look 'muddy' but it tastes good...
  17. Just found a bottle of Qinta Do Crasto late bottled vintage port & a bottle of Pommia sparkling cider, they should mix together well.
  18. Quick solution to getting rid of strangely labelled and unwanted alcohol. Fcuk off on holiday to Sri Lanka leaving your 16 year old child behind to look after the house and pets. Arrive home 2 weeks later tanned and refreshed only your find your once delightful 18th century cottage absolutely fcuking trashed after one of those parties you only read about in the tabloids.
    Every fcuking drop of alcohol in the house had been consumed including cooking sherry, red wine fcuking vinegar and my teasured bottle of port from Brittania.
    No one in the village will talk to you, pets are in therapy and try as you might you cannot get the fag burns and vomit stains out of the sofa and carpet.
    Someone had even shit themselves on the backseat of my car.

    No wonder I dispached said child to the RN careers office rather quickly afterwards and peace and tranquility has now been restored - although we did have to fcuking move
  19. Must have been an absolute mystery as to where the poor lass acquired her taste for alcohol and such friendly companions to share it with, eh Stan?

    Back to Advocaat, but it has to be Warninks, forget the rest - merely egg flip.

    Our family tradition (from long before my time, even) is to use it liberally instead of Custard on the Christmas Pudding - Alcoholically Delicious, especially if the pudding has already been well-marinated with cognac. One less saucepan to wash up afterwards, too.

    Any remains can be always be added to strong black coffee in lieu of cream.

    RRs of a certain age may recall that old TV Advocaat advert with a cloggie in traditional Dutch rig saying: "Eveninks and Morninks - I trink Varninks".

    Of course Jolly Jack soon hijacked it & it then became "Eveninks and Morninks - I get Honkinks".

    Besides the boring old Snowball there are some other cunning cocktails for the ladies here:

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