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STC - Special Force!

Rare photographs of STC support ships.
Rusty, leaky, shit-high floating slums that
no country would even give a second look when they came steaming into port.
Exactly the way we wanted it to be.

1. MV BAGOVSHET
(ex Ukrainian coal carrier)
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2. MV SEATURD
(Converted dredger)
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3. SS ERNEST D. FIGPUCKER II
(ex banana transporter)
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4. RMAS VANDAL
(QRF on station guard ship permanently anchored just off Benidorm. STC dream draft.)
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"Harbour stations, Harbour stations!"
 
"Sometimes, patience is not a virtue"
(Wang Xzu - Battle Strategy during the Ming Dynasty)

LSTC Pat Tester breaks through the floor of St Winifreds infants school to effect the rescue of the fifteen seven year olds that were being held hostage by the schools recently sacked headmaster, 85 year old Reginald Ricketts. The secret tunnel was nine miles long and took Pat almost 12 years to complete. By the time he broke into the classroom, Mr Ricketts had been dead for 10 years, all the kids had left school and were either in full time employment or had emigrated to New Zealand.
The STC decided to use more rapid entry techniques after this somewhat embarrassing rescue attempt.


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"Where'd everybody go?"
 
Yours Truly, modelling what I thought was going to be the new STC "incognito mask"
However the joke was on me when I realised that there were two additional holes on the top (for legs to fit through).
The "eye holes" were designed to keep ones testicles cool and the "mouth hole" was for ease of access to one's penis to urinate. It's actually Charlie "Crabby" Hummers new style cold weather underpants. I thought it smelled a little off.

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I got my revenge on Charlie by filling his sleeping bag with rattlesnakes when we were on exercises with elements of Delta Force in Yuma, USA.
 
STC(Chaplain) Judas Boghammer as a young, morbidly obese teenager. He saw an image of Jesus in a giant jar of Nutella and changed his ways. Using incredible willpower he shed 30 stone in weight and joined the RN as a submarine padre. It was from here that he volunteered for STC duties. Passing all aspects of training - he became the only padre to take confession, marry people and kill others whilst giving them their last rites.
Always wore the same t-shirt when away doing "certain things".

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"Love thine enemy after thou battereth them with blunt objects"

(from a J. Boghammer Christmas Day sermon in the Pol Pot multi-faith room HMS PAINFUL)
 
STC(Chaplain) Judas Boghammer as a young, morbidly obese teenager. He saw an image of Jesus in a giant jar of Nutella and changed his ways. Using incredible willpower he shed 30 stone in weight and joined the RN as a submarine padre. It was from here that he volunteered for STC duties. Passing all aspects of training - he became the only padre to take confession, marry people and kill others whilst giving them their last rites.
Always wore the same t-shirt when away doing "certain things".

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"Love thine enemy after thou battereth them with blunt objects"

(from a J. Boghammer Christmas Day sermon in the Pol Pot multi-faith room HMS PAINFUL)
Did he leave any dieting tips? Asking for a friend.
 
Polar bear terrorises Anchorage inhabitants.

PO(STC) Ernest Wibble pictured in Anchorage municipality Alaska, moments before he leapt on to the Polar bears back and rode it out of town. He was awarded the freedom of the city and a free 24 hour pass to Madam Kunutchukwakmutts Ethnic Eskimo whore house.


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The last photograph of STC(Sniper) Norman Mong pictured on Exercise Black Maskers in North America. When the rest of his troop returned to his OP the following morning, Norman had disappeared. A Board of Enquiry came to the conclusion that STC Mong had fallen asleep during the night and had then been dragged away by giant mutant beavers and is now part of a beaver dam on one of the many rivers, streams and lakes that cover the area.

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"Op Pissynickers" (date/time remains classified)

96 year old Florence Clagnut, who worked for the S. O. E. during WW2 was living in the Harold Shipman Memorial Rest Home in Margate when she simply went off her tits.
Using weapons she had collected during the war, she held the staff and residents hostage for nine days. Ms Clagnut made a series of demands during the seige which included the right to walk around naked during visiting hours, the abolishment of tambourine practice every Sunday afternoon, the right to defecate in her own handbag if she wanted to, a return to the quarterly change of underwear rather than the recent change to half yearly, an extra thirty minutes to suck her food especially on T-bone steak night and the re-homing of 83 year old Albert Kumshott who was addicted to Viagra and spent all his waking hours shagging the upright piano in the residents lounge. After nine days of intense negotiations with STC specialists it was decided that she should be taken out with a coordinated naval bombardment from HMS DOOM, anchored just off the Margate coastline but before we could call in the first salvo, STC Phil Yerbutes caved her forehead in with a well aimed sugared almond fired from a catapult at a distance of three hundred yards.

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Florence Clagnut moments before getting slotted by high speed confectionery.
 
The STC were invited to the Ukraine to demonstrate their expertise in dealing with fare dodgers on public transport - a problem that is on the rise in the country.
Several UK bus companies have expressed an interest in contracting STC personnel to deal with the growing problem over here, as as well as a number of Mister Whippy ice cream vending franchises who say that the theft of 99 cones (with two flakes) are biting into their profit margins.

 
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Sod being the geezer with the exploding stick

Good to see Elf n Safety apply in Rossia - have all the spectators got shields ????
 

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