STC - Special Force!

BillyNoMates

War Hero
The last photograph of STC(Sniper) Norman Mong pictured on Exercise Black Maskers in North America. When the rest of his troop returned to his OP the following morning, Norman had disappeared. A Board of Enquiry came to the conclusion that STC Mong had fallen asleep during the night and had then been dragged away by giant mutant beavers and is now part of a beaver dam on one of the many rivers, streams and lakes that cover the area.

85c890857005cbb0fad1281ef65c61fb.jpg
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
"Op Pissynickers" (date/time remains classified)

96 year old Florence Clagnut, who worked for the S. O. E. during WW2 was living in the Harold Shipman Memorial Rest Home in Margate when she simply went off her tits.
Using weapons she had collected during the war, she held the staff and residents hostage for nine days. Ms Clagnut made a series of demands during the seige which included the right to walk around naked during visiting hours, the abolishment of tambourine practice every Sunday afternoon, the right to defecate in her own handbag if she wanted to, a return to the quarterly change of underwear rather than the recent change to half yearly, an extra thirty minutes to suck her food especially on T-bone steak night and the re-homing of 83 year old Albert Kumshott who was addicted to Viagra and spent all his waking hours shagging the upright piano in the residents lounge. After nine days of intense negotiations with STC specialists it was decided that she should be taken out with a coordinated naval bombardment from HMS DOOM, anchored just off the Margate coastline but before we could call in the first salvo, STC Phil Yerbutes caved her forehead in with a well aimed sugared almond fired from a catapult at a distance of three hundred yards.

045_picsfdgfhh.jpg

Florence Clagnut moments before getting slotted by high speed confectionery.
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
The STC were invited to the Ukraine to demonstrate their expertise in dealing with fare dodgers on public transport - a problem that is on the rise in the country.
Several UK bus companies have expressed an interest in contracting STC personnel to deal with the growing problem over here, as as well as a number of Mister Whippy ice cream vending franchises who say that the theft of 99 cones (with two flakes) are biting into their profit margins.

 
Last edited:

Dusty70

War Hero
Sod being the geezer with the exploding stick

Good to see Elf n Safety apply in Rossia - have all the spectators got shields ????
 

Jacobus

Lantern Swinger
"Op Pissynickers" (date/time remains classified)

96 year old Florence Clagnut, who worked for the S. O. E. during WW2 was living in the Harold Shipman Memorial Rest Home in Margate when she simply went off her tits.
Using weapons she had collected during the war, she held the staff and residents hostage for nine days. Ms Clagnut made a series of demands during the seige which included the right to walk around naked during visiting hours, the abolishment of tambourine practice every Sunday afternoon, the right to defecate in her own handbag if she wanted to, a return to the quarterly change of underwear rather than the recent change to half yearly, an extra thirty minutes to suck her food especially on T-bone steak night and the re-homing of 83 year old Albert Kumshott who was addicted to Viagra and spent all his waking hours shagging the upright piano in the residents lounge. After nine days of intense negotiations with STC specialists it was decided that she should be taken out with a coordinated naval bombardment from HMS DOOM, anchored just off the Margate coastline but before we could call in the first salvo, STC Phil Yerbutes caved her forehead in with a well aimed sugared almond fired from a catapult at a distance of three hundred yards.

View attachment 41408

Florence Clagnut moments before getting slotted by high speed confectionery.
Ffs. Chief. Brilliant. Just brilliant. Where do you get the [email protected] time ?
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
Found one of my original manuals in my "go bag" in the loft (BR999).
IMG_20190802_210030-2340x3120-1170x1560.jpg
There will be a few Higher Ups in Whitehall panicking now...... these were supposed to have all been destroyed during the purge and disavowment operation when the STC was outlawed by HMG.
Well, fuck 'em. I'm still owed back pay.
 
Last edited:
Billy how's the book going? I wish you every success, sell all them copies! Ill then invite you to join mE In a high end luxury bar for a drink were we can talk about our success's together.
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
STC Legends.
(Record breakers who should have been included in The Guinness Book of Records, but could not, for operational and security reasons).

CPO(STC) Lou Nattick. The first and still the only man to have reached the North Pole single handed from Svalbard on a pogo stick.
coin_tile.jpg


S/Lt Ivan Todroppalog. Dragged a pussers bus the entire length of a runway at RNAS CULDROSE, using just his foreskin and a couple of homeward bounders.
Jimmie-Johnson.jpg
(After completing this amazing feat of endurance, he had the stretched remnants of his penile sheath surgically removed and made into a canoe which he then paddled across the Atlantic for charity).

LSTC Jack Jissom. During sexual intercourse, Jack's ejaculation velocity was equivalent to the speed of sound thereby creating a sonic boom. This did not bode well for any of his eight wives, all now deceased and it was an unpleasant experience for anyone who shared a tent with him on exercises or ops when he fancied cracking one off.
21_thor.jpg
(A radio communications specialist - call sign "Noisy Wanker")
 
Last edited:

BillyNoMates

War Hero
@BillyNoMates did Ivan invent the Busby or is that the start of his shaggy dog disguise?
Mullets were all the rage back then. And now for something completely different.
Here's a snippet from a "lost" STC Training Manual.
I've only posted one of the sixteen ciphers we had to get to grips with.
Get cracking.

PhotoPictureResizer_190816_171412724_crop_2808x1873.jpg

The clock is ticking...

PhotoPictureResizer_190816_171106383_crop_3003x1838.jpg
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
Special Forces the world over don't mind posing for photos, just as long as their heads are mostly missing.

51674712_2282187508728878_3079843499973637337_n.jpg

The STC modified this idea, and incorporated it into their ID Cards. (We all got a "second" ID Card on successful completion of training - your original one was held on file in case you got RTU'd)
Here are some ID Card photographs of Charlie Troop, after completing all training back in **** that I discovered in those files left behind when HMS PAINFUL was decommissioned.

scotch-tape-portraits-wes-naman-2.jpgdfef51ded80bbba58a654b6c30d195be.jpg6897b4313ba82b358d3657f879d60cec.pngbcecf0ec654eddb069c03b161c611dbb.jpgte7cs.jpg74180d3a4200be937130cdd6918f7b56.jpg

Never forget a face but their names escape me.
 

Noisy W

Newbie
Hello Billy.
This is Noisy W.
Guess where I work now?
You have just been pinged by Room 101 so expect a visit very soon.
Oh and thanks for letting everyone know about my sex-noise problem you dick.
Must get back to work. I'm trying to figure out why there are so many adverts for Cillit Bang on North Korean television.
We think it's a code for some sort of planned invasion of the South.
I never liked you anyway.
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
Well hello you old twat!
Guess you're still pulling the head off it at the end of Runway 1 at Heathrow when the 747's take off.
It's the only way you'll get any you sad old comb over.
And if ANYONE rocks up at my gaff, I shall take great delight in telling the Old Bill to go and dig up the patio at the back of your last address....... there's a few ex wives with shattered pelvises under it isn't there?
Fu**ing knob end.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
A STC Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 54
I Joining as a STC? Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 21
2_deck_dash Genuine SAS/SBS/STC sunglasses - H4H auction - not to be missed. Charity 18
Topstop Gucci American STC kit? Diamond Lil's 2
wet_blobby Newbies question STC Diamond Lil's 28
Rumrat STC v PTA pilot. The Gash Barge 1
Montigny_La_Palisse STC Branch, details and guidance RR Greatest Threads 358
MoD_RSS Adapting teaching practice for remote education at a special needs secondary school MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Supporting the wellbeing of primary pupils with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) MoD News 0
MoD_RSS AAIB Special Bulletin: Biocide treatment of aircraft fuel MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Special feature: Data science at GAD MoD News 0
MoD_RSS UK statement: access restrictions on OSCE Special Monitoring Mission patrols MoD News 0
MoD_RSS UN Human Rights Council 43: Interactive Dialogue with the Special Rapporteur on Myanmar's human rights situation MoD News 0
MoD_RSS UN Human Rights Council 43: UK statement for the Interactive Dialogue with the Special Rapporteur on the situation of human rights in Iran MoD News 0
MoD_RSS UN Human Rights Council 43: UK statement for the Interactive Dialogue with the Special Rapporteur on the situation of human rights in the DPRK MoD News 0
MoD_RSS PM appoints new Special Envoy for Girls’ Education ahead of International Women’s Day MoD News 0
MoD_RSS UN Human Rights Council 43: UK statement for the Interactive Dialogue with the Special Rapporteur on the Right to Privacy MoD News 0
MoD_RSS UN Human Rights Council 43: UK statement for the Interactive Dialogue with the Special Rapporteur on the Promotion and Protection of Human Rights and MoD News 0
MoD_RSS UN Human Rights Council 43: Interactive Dialogue with the Special Rapporteur on the situation of Human Rights Defenders MoD News 0
soleil Afloat: "Large UK Naval Auxiliary Replenishment Ship Completes Special Survey In Merseyside Shipyard" RFA 3
MoD_RSS UN Human Rights Council 43: UK statement for Interactive Dialogue with the Special Rapporteur on the Sale and Sexual Exploitation of Children MoD News 0
MoD_RSS UN Human Rights Council 43: Statement for the Interactive Dialogue with the Special Rapporteur on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities MoD News 0
MoD_RSS UN Human Rights Council 43: UK Statement for the Interactive Dialogue with the Special Rapporteur on Freedom of Religion or Belief MoD News 0
MoD_RSS UN Human Rights Council 43: UK statement for the Interactive Dialogue with the Special Rapporteur on Human Rights and the Environment MoD News 0
MoD_RSS UN Human Rights Council 43: Interactive Dialogue with Special Rapporteur on Torture MoD News 0
MoD_RSS UN Human Rights Council 43: UK statement for the Interactive Dialogue with the UN Special Rapporteur on Eritrea MoD News 0
soleil FB: BBC News - A Special Mission For RAF Fylingdales Current Affairs 0
MoD_RSS Hampshire landowner fined for running a scrap metal operation on a protected Site of Special Scientific Interest MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Vaccine update: issue 303, December 2019, PCV special edition MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Vaccine update: issue 302, November 2019, virus special edition MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Charity Commission News: 2019 General Election special MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Government announces UK special envoy for countering violent extremism MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Vaccine update: issue 300, October 2019, bug special edition MoD News 0
MoD_RSS UK’s Special Envoy for post-Holocaust issues visited Lithuania MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Vaccine update: issue 299, September 2019, flu special edition MoD News 0
MoD_RSS The VMD will launch an updated online special import application form on 7 October 2019 MoD News 0
MoD_RSS MAJOR REVIEW INTO SUPPORT FOR CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL EDUCATIONAL NEEDS MoD News 0
MoD_RSS PM surprises young journalists at special ‘children’s lobby’ MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Special delivery marks milestone moment for Sellafield project MoD News 0
MoD_RSS North Yorkshire farmer admits Wildlife & Countryside offences on Site of Special Scientific Interest MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Special #knifefree chicken boxes launched across the country MoD News 0
MoD_RSS AAIB Special Bulletin S2/2019 published: 14 August 2019 MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Vaccine update: issue 296, July 2019, HPV special edition MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Iran: E3 Statement for the Special Session of the IAEA Board of Governors MoD News 0
MoD_RSS UN Human Rights Council 41: UK response to the Special Rapporteur's report on racism MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: UK-USA special relationship helps drive British exports to record heights MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Education Secretary to work with sector on special needs funding MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Special constable who terrorised family friends jailed MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Thousands of places created in new special free schools MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Foreign Secretary appoints Special Representative on UK victims of Qadhafi-sponsored IRA terrorism MoD News 0
Similar threads
STC


















































Latest Threads

New Posts

Top