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STC - Special Force!

Truck mounted jet engine. Clears snow off runways in a heartbeat. Also used for decontamination and smoke screens.
(TMS-65)
Goes fast if Ivan forgets to put the handbrake on.

 
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Wrong shape for an iron, definitely.

I've still got my STC issue iron:

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Just heat it up on a bonfire outside the block plunge it into a bucket of boiling water and get on with making all your kit presentable. We knew when someone was ironing on account of all the high pitched screaming and the aroma of burning meat.
Also used in games of brick volleyball on the parade ground. Last man standing was the winner.
 
I've still got my STC issue iron:

View attachment 42431
Just heat it up on a bonfire outside the block plunge it into a bucket of boiling water and get on with making all your kit presentable. We knew when someone was ironing on account of all the high pitched screaming and the aroma of burning meat.
Also used in games of brick volleyball on the parade ground. Last man standing was the winner.
Did you join up in London?
 
I've still got my STC issue iron:

View attachment 42431
Just heat it up on a bonfire outside the block plunge it into a bucket of boiling water and get on with making all your kit presentable. We knew when someone was ironing on account of all the high pitched screaming and the aroma of burning meat.
Also used in games of brick volleyball on the parade ground. Last man standing was the winner.
Mine had “Goodwick” stamped into it. Definitely a vintage item, the brickworks there closed in the 1960’s and was replaced by a motel that had regular noisy discos.
 
Did you join up in London?

All brick irons/volleybricks were leftovers from the original build of HMS PAINFUL.
There was a huge pile of them behind the drill shed.
Half bricks were used in our alternative game of cricket (bricket). LBW (leg broke well) was the usual way of getting an opponent off the pitch.
 
Hall of Fame

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Archibald "one ear" McGoogle. As a QVSG new entrant, he took the Bishops Rock to Plymouth swimming test but unfortunately got lost, went the wrong way and came ashore in Canada. Opting to remain there he joined the R. C. M. P. as a tracker.
The only mountie to never get his man.
 
Quick ad break. He's back. He's old. Probably incontinent. Just park your brain in neutral, buy a cinema ticket, a ten quid bucket of popcorn and revel in 90+ minutes of Technicolor violence. (Loads of people, animals and small children were harmed during the making of this movie).



(STC approved)
 
Mullets were all the rage back then. And now for something completely different.
Here's a snippet from a "lost" STC Training Manual.
I've only posted one of the sixteen ciphers we had to get to grips with.
Get cracking.

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The clock is ticking...

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Not wanting to breach anyone's PerSec, but I heard a STC wannabe on this site (cough Sumo cough) read this straight through in a minute. AND UNDERSTOOD IT!!
 
Not wanting to breach anyone's PerSec, but I heard a STC wannabe on this site (cough Sumo cough) read this straight through in a minute. AND UNDERSTOOD IT!!
Shhuuush language skills and cyphers are to be kept out of the public domain, your life may now be at risk.
 
The STC armourers sub-unit, (the T.rial W.eapons A.rmaments T.esting S.ection) came up with these personal firearms back in ****
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Codename "Shite Hawk Shredder", its main purpose was to eliminate those noisy screeching bastards on a Sunday morning when HMS PAINFUL personnel were permitted to have a bit of a lay in. Didn't even have to aim it. After a Saturday night piss up, all one had to do was open their cabin window at ****'o'clock in the morning when the irritating squawking feathered c*nts started to congregate - point it in the general direction of the bins and squeeze the trigger. Ten at once. They soon got the message and pissed off to land fill sites.
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Version two (the Meerkat Mangler) was used purely to hunt the furry little swines when on desert missions in the Namib or Kalahari. Nimble bastards, but they couldn't get out of the way fast enough. Went down like lines of dominoes. Oddly enough, a spit roasted meerkat tastes like shallow pan fried mackerel. Delicious!
 
Q. V. S. G. "Op London Skirmish"

In days of yore, London was a shit-hole.
There was huge areas of slum dwellings were gin soaked prostitutes plied their trade and robbers and homeless children clad in rags sat huddled together in miserable bundles on every street corner. Yes Knightsbridge, Chelsea and St. John's Wood were in a right state and property values were crashing through the floor. The government at the time tasked Q. V. S. G. to clean up these (and other) areas so that the families who had made a good living from the efforts of their relatives in the slave trade back in the day could live respectable, decent lives.

(Q V. S. G. Sniper Team using an AK1 "Tramp Terminator" Long Gun work their way along Kensington High Street on a daylight cleansing mission - tuppence a tramp.)

The AK1 could do half a dozen at once, so it was a very profitable operation.
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Q. V. S. G. physiologists even convinced the penniless ragamuffins that the boxes being provided for them to "sleep in" were a present from the goverment. Less mess.


(A night out on the foaming ale guaranteed).
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Operations of this type proved extremely successful. Property prices sky rocketed thereby ensuring that descendants of affluent families could afford second homes in Cornwall.
 
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Those that dwelt in the sucking, oozing mud along the banks of the River Thames were also removed by Q. V. S. G. Boat Flotilla 22, (known as "The right bunch of punts"). Specially adapted vessels soon put paid to their wretched existence as anyone who has been to Canary Wharf recently should know. I mean... look at it.... they've got more cash in the office tea boat than I paid for my ******* house.!

(Bunch of punts on a Banyan Blast).
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