STC - Special Force!

BillyNoMates

War Hero
This idea has been buzzing around my head for a while. Write a book! Something totally off the wall
that is an action packed fun fest of complete and utter bollocks. I have sort of quickly put together
an introduction and I've decided to post the rough draft in DL's.
Feedback would be appreciated. I can take constructive criticism. Do your worst.

Billy.

*****

STC – Special Force!


Life Inside The Royal Navy’s Ultra Top Secret Unit.

by

Sailor “A”

(a.k.a Billy Dingle, 22 Wombat Street,
Bundawump, Perth, W. Australia 6044)

******

I have no doubt, dear reader, that you will have heard of the Special Air Service (SAS), the Special Boat Service (SBS), US Navy SEALS, GSG9, Spetsnaz, SSG, GIS, GIGN, EKO Cobra, Sayeret Matkal, JTF2, MARCOS, Delta Force, Alpha Group, SHAYETET 13, Snow Leopard Commando Unit, GROM, SEK-M, Huntsmen Corps and Marinejegerkommandoen to name but a few. Every country has an elite special force….some have more than one – the greedy bastards. The United Kingdom has two; the SAS and the SBS. Once upon a time it had THREE. The Royal Navy took it upon itself to give birth to that third special force, because it just wasn’t fair that all the women were dropping their nickers to anyone who made it known in a loud voice down the pub after a few jars that they were in (or had served in) the SAS/SBS and were as hard as fucking nails and hung like stallions. Most of them are fucking liars, but if you waffle long and often enough – there’s a female who is willing to give you gargling lessons. The STC did not like this and it was understood by ALL serving members that ANY mention of the STC outside of working hours would lead to instant dismissal from the unit and a mighty kick in the testicles by every person in that mans section. This could be as many as 20 STC’s, which effectively meant saying farewell to ones bollocks as well as a pension. Nobody ever broke the code. Now, it’s all over for the STC. Disbanded, forgotten, it’s members RTU’d, or living in shop doorways with a mangy dog, training bases demolished, documents shredded and those that were not destroyed getting redacted to fuck. It’s so annoying and I thought it was time to set the record straight. So, dear reader – now is the time for the truth to be told. I scoured the globe in my search for ex-STC members. I unearthed documents that had escaped the attempts of the higher-ups to dispose of. THEY didn’t want to admit that we had actually existed at all. No medals. No pomp and ceremony. Just eradicated from history like Jimmy Saville (who actually did a couple of charity fun-runs on behalf of ex STC operatives who had fallen on hard times). I have amassed a plethora of information about the STC, it’s mission statement, areas of operations, covert ops details and training methods – so the higher-ups can go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. All them other ex SF types who have made fortunes out of book deals, tv series, survival specials and appearances on Breakfast TV with all the fucking lights off can kiss my hairy chocolate starfish.

Like they said at the start of every episode of The X-Files:

“The Truth Is Out There”

B.D.
June 2019
 

Stirlin

War Hero
Funny as fook Bill , don't change a word , remember your RR mates when you sell a million copies and they meck it into a film starring Jason Statham. Looking forward to next chapter.
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
It sounded like a good idea to me. This one's going to take time if it's going to be any good (i.e. poignant, sad, thrilling, sexually charged and capable of making the reader lose control of their bladder).
Plan is to get all of it done over the coming months and push it out on here.
I remember doing "James Bonds dad" on a whim and and lots of bits of paper.
Not going down that route again.
This one's going to be right proper like.
Thank you for all the positive nods.
Now..... where the fuck is my laptop?

BNM.
 
Last edited:

Stirlin

War Hero
Yeah keep it separate as a Word doc Bill then copy and paste to RR , peeps encouraged me on here to publish my 'Memoirs of a nutter ' and was going to but could only stretch it to a pamphlet . Looked at Amazon to self publish and it is a really good place to go , help with layouts , cover , what to put in intro and shit and then the final bit PUBLISH.
 

Pontius

War Hero
Please allow me to be your first pedant :)

I'm all for girls dropping their underwear but dropping whinnying sounds doesn't do a lot for me.

Mind you, I wasn't good enough for STC and this might just be one more reason why I didn't pass selection.


nicker

1.
/ˈnɪkə/
Learn to pronounce
verb
3rd person present: nickers
  1. 1.
    (of a horse) give a soft breathy whinny.
noun
plural noun: nickers
  1. 1.
    a soft whinnying sound.
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
Please allow me to be your first pedant :)

I'm all for girls dropping their underwear but dropping whinnying sounds doesn't do a lot for me.

Mind you, I wasn't good enough for STC and this might just be one more reason why I didn't pass selection.


nicker

1.
/ˈnɪkə/
Learn to pronounce
verb
3rd person present: nickers
  1. 1.
    (of a horse) give a soft breathy whinny.
noun
plural noun: nickers
  1. 1.
    a soft whinnying sound.
It's also the collective noun for a gang of shoplifters who specialise in targeting the lingerie departments of major High Street stores.
 
Please bring back James Bond’s Dad! I’ve tried to re-model myself on him but failed miserably to match his panache (well, some sort of ache), erudition, tact and success with the ladies.
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
A little teaser.

13 Sqn STC - OP VODKA.

Disguised as an elite unit of the Russian Spetsnaz, they successfully carried out several covert

surveillance/intel gathering ops on Russian special forces over a period of six months.
(Photo taken in Red Square, Moscow just prior to extraction back to the UK)

STC Fancy Dress.jpg
 

Sumo

War Hero
A little teaser.

13 Sqn STC - OP VODKA.

Disguised as an elite unit of the Russian Spetsnaz, they successfully carried out several covert

surveillance/intel gathering ops on Russian special forces over a period of six months.
(Photo taken in Red Square, Moscow just prior to extraction back to the UK)

View attachment 40025
What is the vertically challenge ones role?
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
They are the Trubble brothers. Lieutenant Cdrs Stan and Ollie Trubble, who were attached to the STC temporarily from their main role as RN Sea Harrier pilots,mainly because they were the only guys small enough that could infiltrate Spetsnaz operational bases by way of the sewers and drains.
 

WreckerL

War Hero
The one behind the brothers in the blue foulie looks like he has a touch of the ghey about him wearing that fur trim.
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
That's Sandy McKnobb. He got that fur as a trophy when he headbutted two leopards to death in the African sub Sahara whilst on desert warfare training. His sewing skills were second to none. He could knock up a reasonably good disguise in thirty minutes or less and was the only member of the STC to have been awarded a gold Blue Peter badge.
 

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