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Starting a new relationship months before starting training.

Ender221b

Newbie
Hey guys, a noob at this and it's a relationship Q so not sure if this belongs here so bare with me!

Just got my PRNC and Raleigh dates (July if anyone else has the same start)
I'm joining as a MA and have plans to opt into Sub service.

I have been single for over a year now and am feeling ready to get myself into a serious relationship, I'm 26 and so starting to want something bigger. I've been resistant to this because of the uncertainty of my future.
Obviously this all depends on whoever I end up getting into a relationship, like whether she's ok with the distance stuff. Etc.

I'd just like to know if any of you current serving lot have ever gotten into a relationship months before your training and how that went for you.

Also any advice about how hard/easy it is to meet someone and keep it going during service would be great!

Thanks guys!
 

24681012

Badgeman
Hey guys, a noob at this and it's a relationship Q so not sure if this belongs here so bare with me!

Just got my PRNC and Raleigh dates (July if anyone else has the same start)
I'm joining as a MA and have plans to opt into Sub service.

I have been single for over a year now and am feeling ready to get myself into a serious relationship, I'm 26 and so starting to want something bigger. I've been resistant to this because of the uncertainty of my future.
Obviously this all depends on whoever I end up getting into a relationship, like whether she's ok with the distance stuff. Etc.

I'd just like to know if any of you current serving lot have ever gotten into a relationship months before your training and how that went for you.

Also any advice about how hard/easy it is to meet someone and keep it going during service would be great!

Thanks guys!
Relationships happen when you meet someone you want to share time with. If it happens before you start training, there's no reason that you can't make it work, so long as you both understand what service life is like. Plenty of people make it work. But if you aren't in a relationship before you start training, there will be plenty of opportunities to meet someone later in your career and either way, you will need to give your training one hundred percent at first.
 
Whoever you meet will have had some attraction to you due to you being in the finest arm of our armed forces. As long as they accept that you are in the RN and as a result you will have to spend time away at sea, and in the case of on boats, out of communication then it should be fine.

I think problems start when they start complaining about you being away and wish you had a job that had you home every night. If you want that then go Fleet Air Arm!
 

Subadubdub

Badgeman
I've been with my girlfriend for 3 months now and I'm off to Raleigh at the end of Feb. We're really serious and I was a little apprehensive about leaving and making a huge change too, but luckily she is very supportive.

What you need to realise is that as tough as ten weeks apart in Phase 1 will be, Phase 2 offers the chance of being reunited at weekends and if things are serious enough, then after training (best part of a year) you'll be in the position to move on into the relationship more.

Don't worry.

If things go sour, then you'll have your career. If you were to not join and serve and things go sour...then what?
 

Sumo

War Hero
I have known many serving, meet a new partner, then the pressure is on me or the navy type things happen, every one that has left under relationship pressure, that I know has regretted it, and most of the relationships failed.
If you are in a position to hold hands and run of into the sunset for ever, great, but not many are.
Living life with regrets, is no way to live.
 

Waspie

War Hero
Whoever you meet will have had some attraction to you due to you being in the finest arm of our armed forces. As long as they accept that you are in the RN and as a result you will have to spend time away at sea, and in the case of on boats, out of communication then it should be fine.

I think problems start when they start complaining about you being away and wish you had a job that had you home every night. If you want that then go Fleet Air Arm!

My Bold, Not strictly true. when not embarked as a Wafu you'll be on detachment away from home for days, weeks and months on end. Not just in my day but still happening. I have many friends still serving and the one complaint from their wives and girlfriends is disembarking only to be sent someplace else.

For partnerships you simply need an understanding soulmate that can put up with service life. If being separated may be a problem join the Merchant Navy where there are times when partners can go with you on board.
 

soleil

War Hero
Hey guys, a noob at this and it's a relationship Q so not sure if this belongs here so bare with me!

Just got my PRNC and Raleigh dates (July if anyone else has the same start)
I'm joining as a MA and have plans to opt into Sub service.

I have been single for over a year now and am feeling ready to get myself into a serious relationship, I'm 26 and so starting to want something bigger. I've been resistant to this because of the uncertainty of my future.
Obviously this all depends on whoever I end up getting into a relationship, like whether she's ok with the distance stuff. Etc.

I'd just like to know if any of you current serving lot have ever gotten into a relationship months before your training and how that went for you.

Also any advice about how hard/easy it is to meet someone and keep it going during service would be great!

Thanks guys!

I think that the best thing for you would probably be to put your heart and soul into your preparations for the PRNC and starting at HMS Raleigh, concentrating on keeping up your fitness etc. You would be giving yourself a flying start to your career if you do that and I think that you would be glad that you had made that choice.

My perception is that, on occasion, recruits do give up on their training and go home because their girlfriend wants them at home; it's rare that I have heard that those relationships have gone on to flourish afterwards, I've heard more often that the girlfriends have then wandered off. It's not uncommon, I gather, for RN Careers Advisors to hear from people who did leave in the first few weeks for a girlfriend and who then want to come back because the relationship didn't work out.

At 26, there will be ample time in the future for "serious relationships" and so many opportunities to find one, as you will meet people who appeal to you. The chance to start out on what could be a great career might not come along as often, so make the most of the opportunity you have now with your place at HMS Raleigh.

PS Try not to use the word "gotten" in your written English, it looks a little odd when the writer isn't from the US.
 
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I think that the best thing for you would probably be to put your heart and soul into your preparations for the PRNC and starting at HMS Raleigh, concentrating on keeping up your fitness etc. You would be giving yourself a flying start to your career if you do that and I think that you would be glad that you had made that choice.

My perception is that, on occasion, recruits do give up on their training and go home because their girlfriend wants them at home; it's rare that I have heard that those relationships have gone on to flourish afterwards, I've heard more often that the girlfriends have then wandered off. It's not uncommon, I gather, for RN Careers Advisors to hear from people who did leave in the first few weeks for a girlfriend and who then want to come back because the relationship didn't work out.

At 26, there will be ample time in the future for "serious relationships" and so many opportunities to find one, as you will meet people who appeal to you. The chance to start out on what could be a great career might not come along as often, so make the most of the opportunity you have now with your place at HMS Raleigh.

PS Try not to use the word "gotten" in your written English, it looks a little odd when the writer isn't from the US.
Just fancy, a whole new vocation for you! Pussers one and only 'Agony Aunt'. Column inches in Navy News even.....:)
 

bollotom

War Hero
@soleil wot I said but with better words:)
And some even longer. :cool:

Relationships can be rather trying at times but where there is extended absences can be a sod. It's hard to see where things are going when you're a few thousand miles away and the mail is late and the darkness of the middle watch conjures up all sorts of fairy tales. Just be sure the love and trust is there, but get Phase 1 and 2 out of the way before worrying about anything else.
 
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