Stag do ideas.

Alright fuckers, long time no speak.

I need your help.

One of my bezzy oppos who I joined up with (now a Chief sundodger) is getting spliced later this year and I'm looking for stag do ideas.

Nothing too fancy, we'll probably meet up in a central(ish) city, have a big feed on the Friday and then spend the weekend traipsing about, getting wrecked and making cunts of ourselves.

Since pretty much all of the participants will be serving or ex matelots, it would be nice to have some sort of nautical theme, but nothing too OTT, we don't want people to see us and go, "oh look a bunch of matelots on the piss."

I've found a firm who make pusser's cap tallies but with whatever writing you want. I'm thinking the stag (or maybe even all of us) should have a cap with HMS Goat Blower on it or something and obviously lots of rum will be involved.

Anyway over to you, spin me some stag do/run ashore dits, I need some inspiration.

:tongue:

 

I was BM(not Bosuns Mate) so organised a weekend smashex in Cardiff(easy to get to by train and motorway). They fully accept stag dos in the hotels bars and clubs. I ordained the stag online and got his cert framed then on the train from Pompey told him he had 5 mins to go to the heads with the grip i gave him and get dressed and read the dit i had written. He came out dressed as a sky pilot with a big fuck off prayer book and bible and on the hour every hour he had to silence everyone in the area and read a prayer and deliver a sermon(I had highlighted passages about the demon drink, sex b4 marriage etc. His first prayer was on the train and we made him wake people and silence the whole carriage which was well funny(on a Fri aft with loads of jack going weekenders!!). He even preached to the cab driver/paintball instructors/hotel staff/nightclub revellers because if he defaulted he had to buy 15 people a wet!!! Proper top laugh and loads of different options(amazing how many stunning women necked on with him cos of what he was wearing!!) "Forgive me father................etc"

 

Epic!

The last stag do I organised turned out to be a massive failure on the grounds that the groom is a miserable cunt and no one turned up except for me, him and his new brother in law.

It really was dreadful, I'd sorted out a banging camping spot next to a river and borrowed a couple of 12x12s from stores. My plan was to sit around a roaring fire all weekend, drinking beer, cooking meat and chucking my mate in the river. I'd even rented boat to take us fishing on the lake on the Saturday.

Anyway it pissed with rain and the groom ended up having a massive row with his new bro in law.

We spent the weekend soaking wet, sat around a miserable fire in silence. The boat and fishing gear was £200 for the day, divided by 10 of us, it would've been quite the bargain, divided by 3, not so much.

 

Thats a v good point! Dont ever book summat and pay up front expecting all those matelots who have said they will pitch up doing so! If I had paid for a weekend in Butlins Minehead up front I would have been out of pocket by more than £3000! NEVER trust a sailor!!!

 

Anyone ever played the golf ball game?

You take a golf ball out with you on the piss, the aim of the game is to discretely drop it into your oppo's pint. If you succeed without him noticing he has to down his wet in one, it's then his turn to choose a victim and drop the ball.

Eventually everyone gets hammered and loses track of who has the ball, fights often ensue brought on the constant state of paranoia and fear and it's all good clean fun.

Advanced players can use more than one golf ball and really advanced players can drop the ball into random stranger's drinks just to see what happens.

 

My own stag do went very well and actually required little organisation.

Everyone rocked up at mine on the Friday, we went for a ruby followed by a few quiet ones only to discover that Pat Sharpe of mullet fame was DJing in the local pub.

Since we were the only fuckers there, we had free reign of the cunt and he compered the entire night for us.

The following day we went to the Army vs Navy at Twickenham and got smashed. I ended up jumping naked off a bridge into the Thames and I was pushed around in a shopping trolley for most of the day.

Then I got a shoeing off some coppers for jumping the barrier at the tube station.

Mega weekend.

 

One of the best stag dos I've ever been to was for a lad at my last place of work.

We did the Circle Line piss up.

You get on the tube (Circle Line obviously) and get off at every stop. Down a quick pint in the nearest pub, then jump back on and get off again at the next stop.

There are 27 stops on the Circle Line.

 

Mine was in Geneva and everyone had to dress in tweeds and cravats, we crashed speedboats on Lake Genveva, had three fights (one of which was with a dwarf), had a Fondu eating competition that resulted in a mass puking of fist sized cheeseballs outside a michelin starred restaurant and set alight to a cuckoo clock factory.

No matter what you do, you can't top it. It's pointless.

 

We're not going all the way to Geneva mate.

 

How about an Airsoft weekend at Haslar

 

I got pissed in Northwood with a bunch of matelots. Night before the wedding I went for a few pints with my best man in Barton Upon Humber. Yet again I fail to reach the required standard.

I'm sure that *ahem* next time I can completely trash a Saga holiday. I'm going to throw up Ovaltine all over the coach and stuff.

 

I know its a bit chad but I am getting married in less than 2 weeks (fuck me) me and some oppos went to Krakow, we pretened to the other halves it was cultural etc but instead for about 130 quid each we got to shoot AK's and magnums in someones barn for a full day! was really fun and then ofc eastern European strippers and beer were added to the mix! Top weekend.

 

He lives in Cumbria, he can get all that in Workington.

 

Yeah but at least i could guarenntee the brass on my knee wasn't my sister!

 

I did one of them lol things then.

 

'Weekend Doctor' is a great stag do company me and my mates booked with. You get to choose your own packages including accommodation, activities and nightlife for decent prices. we went to Prague last july and stayed there for a weekend and everything ran smoothly.. i would highly recommend booking with the weekend doctors for those still looking for stag do ideas. (i know i may have posted this too late) their website is here: www.weekenddr.co.uk

 

Not sure if you noticed the date, but I think you'll find 2DD's oppo is already married, if not already divorced!

 

Yep.

We went to York in the end via Sowerby Bridge. It was that weekend in April last year when it snowed heavily.

We got barred from most pubs in Sowerby Bridge for launching snowballs at people and acting the cunt.

And we were violently ejected from one pub for throwing urinal cakes at people.

We also somehow ended up with a signed copy of Des Lyneham's autobiography and did a runner from the kebab shop.

The Saturday night in York involved steaks in Wetherspoons, a titty bar and two attractive Australian backpackers who decided to tag along with us and very nearly cost me my marriage.

We spent the whole of Sunday hungover to fuck, eating bacon, playing guitar hero and trying to get rid of the two Aussie birds who'd decided they were staying with us forever.

Just a good clean weekend on the piss, no silly theme or games or anything. The idea of fancy dress was hastily abandoned due to it being minus 10 outside.

 

Bad enough Stag & Hen parties from the North East descend on York most w/ends windmilling with the local neanderthals, now there is a Cumbrian chapter to swell the ranks.
You would think the medieval city walls would keep them out but nope, they still come.

 

Hello!
I know a company that organizes a stag party. This is the web site: http://partykrakow.co.uk/
It has a lof of information about ideas and activities to do in a stag party.

I hope this helps!