St Peter and the Pearly Gates.

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by DutyFlunky, Nov 9, 2012.

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  1. St Peter is duty on the Pearly Gates when there’s a knock. Clipboard in hand he opens the gates and addresses the man standing before him.

    “Yes, who are you?”
    “I’m Cpl Jones sir” is the reply.
    “So, Cpl Jones, why should I allow you entry?”
    ...
    “Well sir, I spent 22 years in the Corps of Royal Military Police.”
    “Excellent Cpl Jones, here’s a harp, pick a cloud.”

    A short while later, another knock on the Pearly Gates.

    “Yes, who are you?”
    “Regulating Petty officer Brown sir.”
    “So, RPO Brown, why should I let you in?”
    “Well sir, I spent 22 years as a Royal Navy Regulator.”
    “Excellent, here’s you harp, pick a cloud.”

    Even later, another knock on the Pearly Gates.

    “Yes, and who are you?”
    “Cpl Smith sir.”
    “Ok Cpl Smith, why should I allow you in?”
    “Well sir, I spent 22 years in the Royal Air Force Police.”
    “Thank god for that, mind the gate while I go for a piss.”
     
  2. Bloke goes up to pearly gates and ask's to come in, St Peter explains that he should do a test before entering.
    -
    'What was your job on earth'

    'Stoker'

    St Pete hands stoker a bucket

    'Go down to Pompey dockyard and bail out No 1 basin'

    Stoker toils for 3 days at his task and is making no headway so returns to heaven and hands over the bucket to St Pete

    'That task is impossible'

    'Ok, go down to the Beggars Inn Tamworth and ask Rumrat to buy you a pint'

    'Gis the bucket'
     
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