Spoiling Christmas.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Rumrat, Dec 7, 2012.

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  1. So what do you/would you do to fuck up Christmas for some fucker.
    I'm off out in a minute to spoil Christmas for quite a few bastards.
    The local cocky pays well to kill his turkeys, he ain't got the guts to do it and struggles to find any that will, despite all the big hard fuckers about these parts.
    Doing the one for Freezing tonight, the fresh start a few days before crimbo and are all done to prepaid order.
    If the twat would let me use Zyklon B it would be an hours work, but you have to cut their throats.
    Enjoy your Christmas dinner folks.
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  2. Simple, I would just turn up at one or two of my brothers/sisters houses on crimbo day.
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  3. That would just be retaliation.
    Did it really spoil your Crimbo?
  4. Fucking stuck in the US. Thats fucked my Xmas up.
  5. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    Turkey.jpg .................................
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  6. .....................................

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  7. Not the first time you've fcuked an ugly bird
  8. Tis true and I shall return to Manchester again.
  9. Good, you can give me that fiver you owe me
  10. In a bunch?
  11. Oi dont get choppy, that Stilo was worth every penny of £5
  12. You bastard, if you keep shouting at me I'll put you on the fuckin stiff list and Ahmed and mustafa live local to you.
    Both have new bus passes so you can't run.
  13. Rumrat I would go to my brothers house and tell his grand kids that Santa had fallen off a roof
    a broke his legs and could not come. I would then leave to sound of Grand kids wailing that would
    fuck his christmas.
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  14. Spoiling Chrismas??? ... its spoiled every fcuking year! Er indoors goes and brings her Mother home for Christmas (coz she's on her own) who forgets her hearing aids then goes off on one as everyone is shouting at her as she can't fcuking hear ... then she moans she can't hear the TV ... then starts a row coz she wants to watch Jeremy Kyles Christmas Special so 'Er Indoors goes around like a bear with a sore arse for the rest of the day and refuses to drive her home so I can't have a beer or two as I have to turn out and take the old biddy home after she's sat there farting and drolling into her Xmas Pud ... then 'er kids tip up and sit in my chair till the cows come home drinking my beer and eating my mince pies and talking so loud I can't hear myself think to watch the re-run of whichever Bond movie they have on, on my 42" flat screen ... but knowing my luck they'll want to watch to re-run of the X Factor. Can't even take her dog for a walk which she brings with her as the lazy fat little fcuker lays in front of the fire farting the whole day. Christmas ... Bah Fcuking Humbug ... can't wait ... its going to be like having a filling at the dentist without anaesthetic.
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  15. Our Mother-in-Laws would get on like a house on fire MGM. Last Chrimbo I had to collect her and then take her back so no drinkies for me until well late. She won't wear her hearing aid because "it doesn't look nice" although she has long hair and you can't see the fucker anyway. This year I've been told she's coming Boxing Day (meaning I'm going to collect her) and she'll decide in the evening if she wants to go back home so no drinkies until she's made her mind up. And to cap it all she's bringing her cat again as "it might get lonely" and it's a miserable fucker with bad attitude. The shit I get when I give it a boot assist when it's in the way is unbelieveable!
  16. Kicking the cat?
    Lets face it it's the only way your ever going to get a foot in a pussy.
  17. You've obviously been with some exceedingly slack women, and that's before you've got near them.
  18. This is true as there are brothers who are indeed bigger than I.
    But don't let it spoil your Christmas Wrecker, and in Vietnam you might even get to thinking your peckers big.
    Alas their small girls,.. and they lie.
    I can give you a few addresses in Saigon if you like?
  19. At least you've got Xmas day to yourselves! Mind at least her dog gives my cats a chance to hone up their hunting skills ... one of them is a right feline ninja ... almost like Willy Coyote creaping up on it as the mutt lays there blissfully unawares of its impending doom ... cat creeps right up and positions itself on the coffee table above it then launches its attack ... teach it to lay in the cats place in front of the fire!

    I'm quite lucky in one respect as 'er indoors will go and get her as the horses / chooks need to be fed & checked and thats on the way so she'll do the pick up which means I'm left in peace and quiet until she gets back ... then I have to go and manhandle to wheelchair into the house as she can't walk too far and it goes down hill from there. Time I've got her Mother home in the evening I'm just about ready for a few beers ... but then my Mother will tip up and she just takes root! Feel like pinning a notice on the door .."We're Closed so Fcuk off!" . Even worse is my Mother has invited herself for Boxing Day as well so what with 'er mother causing havoc and mayhem and my Mother sitting there like the world needs to wait on her hand and foot and wanting to watch anything with soddin Xmas Carols being sung ... I'm almost tempted to borrow one of Billy's sheds and take up residence or buy a soddin big dog so at least I've got an excuse to sod off out for a very long walk! Ho Ho Bleedin' Ho! Not a good time to give up smoking!
  20. I like this a lot.
    Psychological warfare always appealing to me. And upsetting orrible kids is just pure bonus

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