Special Forces Try-outs

dave1991

Newbie
All the armed forces had decided to combine there efforts in making a brand new Special forces group that will put the SAS and SBS to shame and they decided to try out a member of the Navy, Army, RAF and Royal Marines.
Each one made it through the physical, mental and evade and capture challenges and they had one final challenge.
The C/O spoke to the Army guy first and said:
"Right soldier here is a pistol it has 6 rounds in it and your wife is upstairs I want you to go upstairs and kill her"
the soldier went upstairs and came straight back down.
"Sorry sir I just cant do it she's my wife and I love her to much" the soldier said
"That's OK soldier I understand but I'm afraid you failed to follow an order so we wont be taking you for this new force"
The same thing occurred with the men from the Navy and RAF.
Then it was the Marines turn he went upstairs and there were 6 Shots and a commotion.
The Marine came down the stairs and said "You bastard there were blanks in that gun I had to Strangle the bitch"
 

Günther

Badgeman
I think this joke was first circulated at the battle of Agincourt. Instead of Pongos, Matelots, Crabs and Booties it was about Archers, Pikemen and Axemen.

Obviously the pikemen were the snaggy ******* who strangled their wives.
 

Joe_Crow

War Hero
I agree it's old, but I can't see how it would work with arrows, pikes, or axes. Would they have been made of plastic or something?
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
Some kind of weak bendy wood was used i believe.

It was in fact a caveman joke that went like this:

"Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh danook, rock, ugh
Ugh ugh ugh fire, ugh
Mammoth ugh ugh ugh
ugh ugh ugh ugh fur ugh
ugh ugh
ugh squeeze ugh"
 

Günther

Badgeman
I agree it's old, but I can't see how it would work with arrows, pikes, or axes. Would they have been made of plastic or something?
The bows had special training strings obviously. How the **** do you think archers used to practice section attacks and FIBUA? They didn't run around firing real arrows at their oppos did they?
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
Some kind of weak bendy wood was used i believe.

It was in fact a caveman joke that went like this:

"Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh danook, rock, ugh
Ugh ugh ugh fire, ugh
Mammoth ugh ugh ugh
ugh ugh ugh ugh fur ugh
ugh ugh
ugh squeeze ugh"
There's probably loads of pongoes reading that and pissing themselves as it makes perfect sense to them :laughing2:
 

Joe_Crow

War Hero
The bows had special training strings obviously. How the **** do you think archers used to practice section attacks and FIBUA? They didn't run around firing real arrows at their oppos did they?
You can't catch me out that easily. I know that you know that archers weren't used in that role. Can you imagine trying to FISH with a longbow?
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
There's probably loads of sundodgers reading that and pissing themselves as it makes perfect sense to them. It would remind them of diesel engines and the steady beat of hampton slapping :laughing2:
Fixed for you old chap.
 

jesse650

War Hero
sorry boys it's FISH (fighting in someones house) FIST (fighting in someone's town) FIBUA (fighting in a built up area) ect and so on and as for FIBUA in the future once the next round of cuts hit home we could try crossbows.....
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
There's also the FISH when it all goes tits up,

**** It, Shit Happens
 
Last edited:
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