A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything had been picked up and put away. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With a terrible premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands. "Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing to you. I've had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Susie and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Susie says that we will be very happy. She owns a caravan in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Susie has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Susie can get better. She definitely deserves it! Don't worry, Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren. Love, your son John PS Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Andy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on my desk. I love you! Give me a ring when it is safe for me to come home!!!!!!!!