Snagged up ratings

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by 2_deck_dash, Nov 19, 2009.

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  1. Who is the snaggiest rating on RR? It's a question I have often asked myself whilst masturbating to the Lalalalalala thread as my cat gently licks the nuggets on my hoop.

    So spin your snaggiest dits here and the winner gets to drink a pint of everyone else's piss.
  2. this should be good
  3. Fcuking hell, I don't know where to start on this one. Mite need help remembering off another RR.
  4. One to get the ball rolling.

    The snaggiest newbie I ever met, Burney.

    He joined us straight from Collingrad and was one of the first OM(W)s as opposed to (AW) (UW) (EW) etc. After his initial beating and ritual tying up with harry black maskers, we secured him to the underside of a table and left him there for the day, feeding him beer, wanksocks and various other interesting items. After a time he started to need the toilet and asked to be let out so he could go for a dump. Unfortunately we decide it was probably in everyone's best interest if we kept him tied up.

    On realising that he wasn't going to be set free, he promptly shat himself and grinned ''ah that's better.'' As punishment the biggest sweatiest fcuker in the mess tea bagged him, to which Burney simply opened his mouth and started to suck his balls, all whilst tied to the underside of a table and festering in his own shit. We let him go after that so he went for a fun run, el bollocko apart from his anti flash. He still had turd splatterd all up his back and legs as he joyfully ran through HQ1, the ops room and the JR's dining hall on his little jolly around 2 deck.

    Personally I think this was a resounding effort coming from a sprog, from here he went on to develop his snagginess considerably and was one of the best snagged up ratings I ever met.
  5. I can absolutely guarantee to all and sundry that AlfaCharlie is hands down the snaggiest rating in history, there is simply no contest.

  6. Only thing is, after all the alcohol abuse, I can't remember the fcukers now. Only times I remember them are in the reg office when the reggies are wheel barrowing my docs in or when someone starts spinning the actual dit. Disapointing really.
  7. Or somebody else spinning it pretending they did it.

    I like the fact that AlfaCharlie and I were banned from drinking together, for ever. Also, we weren't allowed the same draft.

  8. Good team me and you were shippers. They'll be unsuspecting when I return in Jan though.
  9. Fair one, I miss the days of drinking your piss direct from source outside Time and Envy in an attempt to get the queue to fcuk off in disgust. Or smashing guitars over your head because you called me a spacker.

    Drinking puke, eating bogey balls, shitting in cd players, trashing messecks, "special" driving, getting people to punch me in Jo's, taking tramps on the piss, missing the ship sailing and returning, stood up in the seaboat waving knickers whilst the messdeck manned and cheered ship, sleeping in a shower with the shower turned on to stay warm, sleeping in the bath and waking up like ET. Swamping every pit ever. Stitching up taxi drivers, getting arrested (lots).

    AlfaCharlie: Official Divisional joy.
  10. Oh yes, the memories are returning. Can't wait to spin the dits to my nipper when he's a bit older. (Around 3 or 4 I reckon is old enough). I think he'll be proud.
  11. When I was drafted to a certain air station, I didn't bother reporting for duty for a week. Instead I got shiters constantly 24/7. I didn't even have anywhere to live, so I just slept rough in a few messes, mainly sleeping in baths and showers of lads who hadn't a fcuking clue who I was. It wasn't until I ran out of beer tokens and the fact that my clothes were in such a sh1t state that I decided to get some accomodation sorted and have a wash and a shave. When I reported to my place of work a week later, nobody said fcuk all about where I'd been and I just cracked on.

    I must of been really important to the running of that place.
    Not really a snaggy story, more of an adventure.
  12. Tramping, it's the way forward.

    I was doing a course at Collingrad and couldn't be arsed to do a joining routine and all the guff that goes with it so I found an empty cabin in Vivian block and set up camp. Since the block used to be SRs accomodation and was in the process of becoming JRs accomodation, I had the whole top floor to myself. Two of my oppos who were staying at Inglefield came across and did the same as the cabins were so much better. I ended up staying for 4 weeks and never got caught. No food and accom charges either. Cashback!

    I think the highlight of my stay was firing wet toilet paper from a co2 fire extinguisher at the Saudi exchange officers every morning.
  13. Being a hobo is defo not to be sniffed at.

    Me and an oppo run out of dits once after a good weekend on it. So, as Sunday night came we were out again and getting a bit bored. Until 3 tramps and their dog called Technics approached us for change. We said they can fuck off for change but we'll take them out for a few drinks. So, after a few drinks with the smelly cnuts, we tried to get them into a few decent wine bars only to be told to fcuk off. After getting them into the only bar that would have them we started to get bored. One of the tramps asked us for another drink but we told him to fcuk off, unless he got on the bar and danced for it. He did, and we all got chucked out.
    We fcuked 'em all off in the end when we were out of beer tokens and went back to the camp. Only snag was, I got fcuking flea bites all up my legs off Technics and couldn't stop scratching. So I got a day off work as well because the W.O didn't want me anywhere near him. Winner.

    I think we only got kicked out of the bar because he danced like a fcuking mong, and the cnut wouldn't get naked and suck the dog off. Not a team player obviously.
  14. Another tramp dit.

    When I was on the Fort Vic or Fort George (I forget which) we were in Scotland at some little fueling jetty in the middle of nowhere as usual. The ship ran a shuttle bus service in and out of town (Dunfermline) so we jumped on one night and went on the smash. A few hours later after much liquid refreshment and a few kebabs, we got back on the bus with a few RFA lads and headed back to the ship. We all walked on board and went back to our respective ends of the ship.

    I went up to the crew room and found some cnut getting amongst the beer fridge, assuming he was RFA I politely asked him to fcuk off. He was obviously smashed and absolutely stank, so I helped him down to the QM's shack, at which point he stumbled down the gangway and wondered off into the night. I asked the QM ''who the fcuk was that'' to which he replied ''I don't know, thought he was one of your lads.''

    Turned out the guy had snuck on the bus and got a lift onboard with the rest of us. We had assumed he was RFA and the RFA lads assumed he was a matelot. We saw the guy again over the next few nights sleeping in the park and trying to fight his own shadow, always with a can of spesh in his hand. A true gentlemen of the road.
  15. Salt of the earth them tramps.
  16. Yeah I've always thought of tramping as an interesting hobby that I might like to take up one day.

    There is a fairly local park bench drinking society near me actually. Once the weather gets a bit better I might go along to one of their open days. I hear the costs are minimal and there is a fairly flexible dress code. I'm getting quite excited just thinking about it!

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