Something old, something new, something borrowed, something... :wink:
(Got plenty more where they came from... :wink: )
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What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a bowling ball?
You can only get three fingers into a bowling ball!
New car being launched in Portugal, space in the boot for a child. It's called the Renault McCann.
Jose Mourinho has said he wants to go back to Portugal and never be seen or heard from again. The McCanns have offered to help.
Congratulations to Madeleine McCann - 2007 European Hide and Seek Championships winner!
Jerry and Kate McCann went to see the Pope to ask if he could help find their daughter. The Pope said he'd love to help but the Catholic Clergy was more used to hunting down small boys.
John Darwin has walked into a police station after being missing, presumed dead for five years. He says that's the last time he goes on holiday with the McCanns!
Why is Madeleine McCann like a submarine?
Both are 10 feet under and full of seamen!
What's the difference between the McCanns and Gary Glitter?
Gary Glitter comes back from his holidays with more kids than he left with.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a tan?
A tan doesn't dissapear until after the holiday.
What's the difference between the McCanns and other parents?
When other parents bury their kid in sand at the beach for a laugh, they dig them back out afterwards.
Whats the difference between the Scottish and Madeleine McCann?
The Scottish are still tight.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Elvis?
More people believe Elvis is still alive.
What does Johnny Macrae have in common with Madeleine McCann?
They've both been fcuked by their dad's chopper.
What do Madeleine McCann and football have in common?
Footballs NOT Coming Home either.
What's the difference between an Emperor penguin and Gerry McCann?
An Emperor penguin doesn't leave his egg to spend three hours throwing cheap wine down his neck in a local bistro on the pretence he can still see the vague area the egg was left in.
Q: What did Madeleine McCann ask for for her 4th birthday?
A: Better parents.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and my bike?
My bike doesn't cry when I ride it.
What's worse than leaving your three-year-old and your twin two-year-olds at home alone?
Having Mr and Mrs. Mccann take them on holiday.
What's worse than Michael Jackson babysitting your kids?
Ian Huntley giving them a bath. What's even worse than that?
The McCanns taking them on holiday!......What's even worse than that?
Being raped...
How are Maddy McCann jokes like Maddy McCann?
They've both been done to death.
Questions to ask Gerry and Kate McCann, if they hold a press conference in the UK:
1. So, apart from that, how was the meal?
2. Got any holidays planned?
3. Have you thought of going into the childcare business?
4. Which Portuguese policeman is your favourite?
5. Did you check out the Pope's alibi thoroughly? He did used to be a Nazi after all...
6. How does collecting a million quid in donations to your non-charitable appeal fund help to find someone when you are not actually doing any of the searching or investigation and the whole investigation is, in fact, being funded by the taxpayers of Portugal, the UK, Belgium, Morocco etc etc ?
What's pink and fluffy and haven't moved in 7 months?
Madeleine McCann's slippers.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Princess Diana?
Only two people saw Madeleine's burial.
What do Madeleine McCann and a Guinea Pig have in common?
Both have a life expectancy of 4 years and end-up buried in a backyard!
What a relief that the McCanns have been formally named as suspects in little Maddie's disappearance.
Now the heat's off me, I can get back to ******* her!
:twisted:
