Navy Net - Royal Navy Community

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Sick jokes and initiation stories

icantfly

Lantern Swinger
sgtpepperband said:
icantfly said:
Nails said:
In fainress I sometimes get my mrs to stick her finger up my bum when I'm shagging her. And the other night she stuck a biro up it because she didn't want pooey fingers cos there was no facilities to wash her hands. But i'd never go thicker than a biro or finger. And i'd only do it with a woman. Two men sticking stuff up their bums is definately gay.

Any chance of a phot of your missus.. sounds like a right slapper :!:

He can't! She's imaginary! (Well, actually she is real, but he just thinks that she's his girlfriend...) :wink:

Oh! You mean Kerry Katona!!
 
Your mate spewing into a pint pot then drinking it through a sweaty sock.
In fact, the last time I saw that was in the China Fleet Club on my 21st.
Happy days.

Well, you did ask for sick jokes! :(
 

abjames

Newbie
Grim_Reaper said:
Your mate spewing into a pint pot then drinking it through a sweaty sock.
In fact, the last time I saw that was in the China Fleet Club on my 21st.
Happy days.

Well, you did ask for sick jokes! :(

That is pretty munting mate.
 

Dicky

Lantern Swinger
I thought it was only Pongoes who did that sort of stuff. The first time I heard of 'freckles' was from an ex-Army signalman. He just had to tell me this whilst I was eating CoCo Pops !!! nuff said !!

As for the rest of the sick stuff on here, I can recommend a good psychaitrist to tell you a few home truths...
 
janner said:
Jack_McHammocklashing said:
Nails said:
What other organization on the planet forces it's new blood to play naked musical chairs while being pelted with eggs? The Royal marines and probably the Annual Convention of Raging Benders ... if they're feeling particularly gay.

You know, when you are old and experienced, the things you have done in the past, have hardened you to react like water off a ducks back

Well all these intiation services, just accelerate the learning, so at twenty years old you have the experience of a sixty year old and the fitness and expetise of a twenty year old

When fifteen like yourself If someone had stuck a bananna up my arse I would have been embarrased, at sixty I would just shrug and say and for your next trick

It is all to do with training

Are you ready for the bananna

In simple terms BEEN THERE DONE THAT I HAVE NO FEAR

Jack McH

Would now be a good time to tell you that it wasn't a banana? :oops:

Bloody hell your RIGHT Now I recall the Bastard had both hands on me shoulders
I never even thought both hands sob both hands :-(

Jack McH
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
*SPOONS*

A fun game for all the family.
How to play:

Two competitors each hold a pussers dessert spoon in their teeth,
and each player is then blindfolded. The aim of the game is to
hit each other on the head with their spoon, and the first player
to "give in" - loses.

(The clever bit).

One "player" (usually the Mess Nozzer) has some hairy-arsed
3 badge Jolly-Jack standing v-e-r-y quietly behind him, and
each time it's the other players turn to biff him on the head
with the spoon that he is firmly gripping 'twixt his teeth, his
hidden oppo TWATS the other player on the cranium with
something ever-so-slightly bigger and heavier than the
bog-standard spoon.

This could be whatever is at hand (e.g. Steaming bat/hammer/
other blunt object, that then induces blunt force trauma).

Oh such fun. I gave in after three clouts. HMS BLAKE 3E Mess,
nineteen hundred and f**k knows when.
 

zRichi

Badgeman
Lol this aint an initiation story lke but its what me and my mates get up to.

On a nght out we were hanging with this c0ck sucker who thought he was hard as f*ck. And my skinny mate that is the biggest wind up merchant you ever met offered to hold his pint when he went to the bog.

My mate then shat in his pint and i got a bit of piss in.

The gutting thing was that he wouldve drank some of my piss if my mate hadnt left a steaming turd floating in his pint.
 

Topstop

War Hero
BillyNoMates said:
*SPOONS*

A fun game for all the family.
How to play:

Two competitors each hold a pussers dessert spoon in their teeth,
and each player is then blindfolded. The aim of the game is to
hit each other on the head with their spoon, and the first player
to "give in" - loses.

(The clever bit).

One "player" (usually the Mess Nozzer) has some hairy-arsed
3 badge Jolly-Jack standing v-e-r-y quietly behind him, and
each time it's the other players turn to biff him on the head
with the spoon that he is firmly gripping 'twixt his teeth, his
hidden oppo TWATS the other player on the cranium with
something ever-so-slightly bigger and heavier than the
bog-standard spoon.

This could be whatever is at hand (e.g. Steaming bat/hammer/
other blunt object, that then induces blunt force trauma).

Oh such fun. I gave in after three clouts. HMS BLAKE 3E Mess,
nineteen hundred and f**k knows when.


A big laddle :cry: :oops:
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
seenoffteefcuk SICK JOKES Diamond Lil's 15
D The sick lame and lazy Diamond Lil's 18
MoD_RSS Coronavirus sick pay scheme opens for applications MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Coronavirus Statutory Sick Pay Rebate Scheme set to launch MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Sick pay from day one for those affected by coronavirus MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Government urges employers to help transform sick pay MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Lowest paid set to receive sick pay for the first time MoD News 0
BillyNoMates Sick on Shore (in an all inclusive). Diamond Lil's 5
eto89 Sick Leave - Dreadnought RFA 16
soleil Australian: "RAN Sick Of Tony Abbott's Use Of Phrase 'Drunken Sailors'" International 0
Dredd Product of a sick mind Diamond Lil's 1
fails_as_is I expect this will go down like a cup of cold sick... Current Affairs 32
D These sick b******* need a hiding. The Quarterdeck 34
J Probationary Sick Berth Attendant and Wireman (LC) History 5
Apple_Catchers If Carlsberg made sick websites!!!! Diamond Lil's 2
T Sick Miscellaneous 0
The_Caretaker Sick Bay Miscellaneous 0
dondon SICK JOKE Miscellaneous 0
soleil BBC: "Devon-based warship helps rescue sick sailor in Gulf" The Fleet 0
wet_blobby On the sick....again.... Diamond Lil's 38
JamesH be very careful regarding sick leave... Diamond Lil's 11
brazenhussy sick to death of kate and gerry mcann The Quarterdeck 51
L Sick Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 20
F Does Britain have a sick note culture? Current Affairs 25
shellbackmac Sick idiot Diamond Lil's 12
wet_blobby She's sick and Ginger but would you knob it???? Diamond Lil's 29
F GORDON BROWN,I'M SICK OF HIM ALREADY!! Current Affairs 27
geoffg Sick Leave Diamond Lil's 3
slim Sick web hijackers cash in on Madeleine Diamond Lil's 0
sgtpepperband Is it sick to find this HEADLINE even slightly funny? The Gash Barge 14
josiecats Some ones Idea Of a SICK Joke.. Site Issues 50
S Sick rating Submariners 5
Chicogiz Sea Sick! The Gash Barge 35
C Love Sick Sailors The Quarterdeck 26
Goatman_Blue Bridge to Sick Bay Current Affairs 1
The_Caretaker Sick Bay Diamond Lil's 0
B bonoedge sick bay his home from home. Submariners 5
D Jokes Diamond Lil's 2
JockJack Them bloody gay jokes Diamond Lil's 30
janner Awful jokes Miscellaneous 62
taffscrivs Unfunny 'Jokes' (??) The Gash Barge 34
wal A few Oscar Pistorius Jokes. Miscellaneous 4
H Jokes about the wife! Blue Jokes 10
Polto Willy jokes... Miscellaneous 3
BillyNoMates This was supposed to be in the Jokes Thread. Blue Jokes 0
P Pirate jokes Nautical Jokes 104
TonyN Playground Jokes Miscellaneous 0
The_Caretaker Clinton Jokes Miscellaneous 0
The_Caretaker Blond Jokes 5 Miscellaneous 0
The_Caretaker Blond Jokes 4 Miscellaneous 0
Similar threads


















































Top