Shove your friggin joggin.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Rumrat, May 3, 2011.

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  1. So I'm out having a nice run down the canal bank, no one around no houses in site, birds tweeting etc, and then disaster.
    I was bimbeling across the top of the overflow weir, and I fuckin fell in. As its a fifty fifty chance which way you fall, Being the luckiest bastard around I went in the canal side ( the deep side) not the weir.
    Lucky me, 6 friggin foot of muddy water full of all kinds of things that yoffel you, and about three miles from home. Squelchy trainers and jogging bottoms and a teeshirt, that once waterlogged looked like a friggin mini dress.
    Then along comes some bastard in a boat (probably Stand_Still he lurks around here somewhere) and says "have you fell in"?
    No you twat I'm sweating and always run in a dress. I'm trying out for the all comers transvestite marathon. What a fuckin stupid question.
    No actually I cadged a bottle of coke and a sausage roll off him, he probably thought I was on benefit, as I was better dressed than him.:toothy3::toothy3:

    Which one of you fuckers on here told me running was healthy and good for you. I should track you down and shit down your neck.
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Well running is generally considered good for one's health, physically and mentally.
    I would advise caution as at your age there are easier way to get one's trousers wet.:-D
    Fair play to you though, how many days to the mile can you do?
  3. Don't talk stupid I'm not that fast, It's weeks to the mile. And its not my fault that there are more pubs down the tow path than rivets on a battleship.
    It would be rude to run past them, people might talk.

    And who wears trousers, has someone died?
  4. Runnings good (evidently) but it's your fault if you suffer a gyro failure, anyway you always told me you walked on water!!!
    • Like Like x 1

  5. :laughing2::laughing2::laughing2::laughing2::laughing2:
  6. I'm going again today, but I'm keeping well clear of that friggin weir, the bruise on my arse is humongous.
    Ask Wrecks.:-D:slow:
  7. "Six foot of muddy water", this is obviously a load of bollocks, I've been boating around the Midlands for many a year and if you can find a canal over three feet deep you are doing well. You probably got a foot wet and you're looking for sympathy!

    If it had been me on the boat I would at least have had the decency, when I'd stopped laughing, to offer you a tot of the very fine single barrel rum I won in the reunion raffle Saturday night.
  8. I think I saw you, weren't you chasing some little girls with your todger out? I think so.
  9. Can you let us know the route your taking tomorrow? Those bear traps and trip wires don't set themselves you know.
  10. :blob5:Get your roadwork in, two sweat shirts thick jogging bottoms and ammo boots, towell tucked in round the neck and the Rocky soundtrack on the walkman or I pod or what the fcuk they call them now.:boxing: Bring back any memories? I gave everyone the shites by rising before call the hands and running from the Hard to Eastney and back, some of it through the shingle on the beach.:blob5: I hasten to add that this was 48 years ago. Mind you as a heavy weight you did not have to worry as much about making the weight as I did.:geek: Still anticipating a run ashore with you and 2B.M. Will he download his Guy Mitchell 78s onto his I pod do you think?:winkrazz:
  11. It is not your gyro that is at fault, you have just experienced your first bout of '' Speed Wobble''. .:brushteeth:
  12. Ditch your trainers(they're soaking wet anyway) and dig out your steaming bats.Guaranteed traction wet or dry on any surface.
  13. You're a hard man Stand_Still, I swear the water in the spot I fell in was at least as deep as the Mariana trench, although I will conceed a foot or two.
    And Alfacharlie, you can't prove that... it's just the police are trying to fit me up, its a colour thing.
    Fucking hell living proof in thread, Wreckler is trying to "TRAP" me. Bring money mate I'm not too fussy.
  14. I was a light heavy Jesse, and it was before they messed with the weight bands. I used to fight at 12st 6Ib and my biggest problem was keeping the weight. I wasn't quite fast enough to box as a middleweight, but did twice and won 1 lost 1.
    Fought as a heavyweight once. Well to be honest I got beat up for two rounds before he decked me, and I got the ten count. And failed.
    It was the only time I was ever KO'd in the ring.
    A big Maori did it to me outside the New Paris in Sembawang in 68 mind. God I can still feel that punch.
  15. probably the same twat that dropped me at the Armada Club, and it was my birthday.

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