Should i shoot my neighbour?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by smudgster!, Dec 9, 2009.

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  1. Came home from work this afternoon, after a hard day ignoring people, and to my total amazment, my chav neighbour is sat on my fence, smoking a what apears to be illegal drugs, when i got inside, read my mail etc etc, he procedes to play at full volume some non descript shite, which sounds like 2 dogs being skinned alive, i have asked the chav, to turn this dirge down, but he has now got 3 of his pikey mates round shouting, and throwing fireworks into my back garden, so my options

    1) call the fuzz, wont turn up, cant be arsed

    2) shite on his suped up corsa

    3) take a fine RPG and fire it through his kitchen window

    anyone got an RPG, or a .50 cal i could borrow? i did pass my APWT in 2005, i think iam still in date.
  2. Just get your oppos round and have a proper matelot piss up, that should deter any neighbours for ever.
  3. Do what i did a few years ago and get a few oppos round to knock his door down and beat the sound system to buggery. Wasn't me guv'nor i was dead at the time!!!

    failing that complain to the fuzz or noise abatement people but when you call the cops mention you thought you saw a firearm which should get them round sharpish!!!
  4. I faced a similar problem a few years ago.
    My solution was a record deck and an LP of the Brigade of Guards trooping the colours.
    Place record on turntable, leave arm up as to cause record to play continuously, Max volume. You simply then go out for a good session with your oppo's, return in three to four hours.
    If or when Chav comes knockin, deck the cnut. He's on your property that way. :twisted: :wink: :)
  5. thanks for the advice, iam still thinking some kind of explosion, i hate this street anyway, id like to set fire to his face, and stamp the flames out
  6. I just noticed you are in Brum mate so i sympathise completely!!
  7. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    A good call. Or invite 3 Para Mortars or 1 Para Guns.

    Personally, i would wait until the family chav are in their soiled beds. When you are sure, run piano wire at neck height at the front and back doors. Then put the windows through, a brick or any other blunt implement should serve, and chuck in a couple of molotovs*. Then you can sit back and watch the fun and bedlam. Once this has been done and they are suitably decapitated, go inside the house and shit on the front room floor thus making the Rozzers think this was a family matter.

    (*CS pellets are just as effective as molotovs for pikey clearance)
  8. Me and a few others are not a million miles away. :twisted: :wink:
  9. I have an RPG, it's been made safe but if someone can find me an RPG round I reckon I can get it operational again.

    Alternatively, give me your address. I will then burgle you, blame it on your nemesis, stove his chips in and you then claim on your insurance.

    Everyone's a winner.
  10. yeah i thought after my time in the RN, id move back, the place is worse, bloody council giving private rented houses to the great unwashed, used to be a nice road, well till the moved in!

    how about the old shit in a box on the door step
  11. clown puncher, as much as id love to claim on my house insurance this time of year, i fear that the thought of you wearing my pants on your head as your steal my betamax video, and 5 channel baird tv, would be too much.
  12. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Mate, they're pikies. This being the time of year it is, they might think it's the second coming of the baby Jesus.
  13. I worked on the border between Brum and Worcestershire for 3 years so i'm fully aware of some of the shits that live in that area. do yourself a favour and move a bit south of where you are its muchos better!!!
  14. scary enough X R D that is where i am, in the pikey god own country, never a dull night.
  15. Your loss oppo.

    I'm sure we can come to some agreement about your pants though, any chance I can have a sniff?
  16. My thinking reference Pikeyland is Evesham mate as there are "fousands" of them milling around on the rob and asking people if they want their drives tarmaced!!!
  17. yeah clown puncher fill your boots mate, ill get you the ones with some nice stains in them
  18. I had a problematic neighbour a few years ago, he was a grubby, stinking fat useless [email protected] of a man. One day i was riding my motorbike and he came the other way down my road and proceded to drive at me head on (he was driving a clapped out van), i was forced to mount a curb and nearly ran over a young mum and her nipper.

    I thought fcuk it ill go to work and leave it till later. I came home from work, parked up and the cnut came out laughing, i told him to do one. He came over, i got off my bike and dropped him. A week later he was gone, new neighbours moved in and one was a good looking bit of skirt my age! Bonus...

    Edit: Being a fart...
  19. :twisted: Had the same problem a few years back when for some reason I was living in Kidderminster of all places ;- not recommended :( Anyway this chav cnut called Mark lived across the landing. I kicked his door in took photographs of the state of the place[ heaving] forwarded them to the letting agency. When he came banging on my door I provoked him into taking a shot so that I could claim self defence, filled him in and threw him down the stairs.Later he got sent down :lol: I was still in the job at the time; found out that he was at Winson Green , gave my oppos a bell and he had an interesting time during his stay. :twisted: It's strange that X.R.D. should mention the Pikey haven of Evesham [Pronounced "Eeevershum"] because thats where I saw the cnut last. He crossed the road quickly. :geek:
  20. Evesham and Kiddie, 2 of the biggest shit holes full of pikey scum. Jubilee drive in Kiddie has caravans on the driveways of the houses which the pikeys live in and take a dump in the house. I'm not even sure they bother using the toilet either!!!

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