Should I be worried?

#1
I am becoming concerned; a woman ( very presentable) keeps walking past my residence and looking at the house as she walks past then oggling again on her return. I am finding it very disconcerting as I do not like strangers trolling my crib even if it is a female. What am I to do, should I go out and challenge her or wait and see how it pans out? One of the main worries is that I live fairly close to a mental health hospital.
 
#2
Perhaps she just wants a slice of finks. Light some candles, pop open a bottle of wine and see whether you get a slap in the face or a bit of slap and tickle. Alternatively bolt the doors, lock all windows, draw the curtains, turn the lights out and retire to bed. Build a pillow fort for safety and take a frying pan up to keep under the pillow in case she is a witch and levitates through the window. When you say live 'fairly close' to the mental health hospital- how close we talking?
 
#4
Perhaps she just wants a slice of finks. Light some candles, pop open a bottle of wine and see whether you get a slap in the face or a bit of slap and tickle. Alternatively bolt the doors, lock all windows, draw the curtains, turn the lights out and retire to bed. Build a pillow fort for safety and take a frying pan up to keep under the pillow in case she is a witch and levitates through the window. When you say live 'fairly close' to the mental health hospital- how close we talking?
Slap and tickle!

You are Hattie Jaques and I claim my £5 :)


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#7
Close to a nut house as in a resident?

I think you should do a Del boy. Smack her on the arse and ask her if she fancies a curry!
 

Sumo

War Hero
#8
may be she has sussed you as a long lost dad and wants her slice of your furtune, she is going to do you in and nick your house, then blame the nut house
 
#10
Safeguard - Finks, the very same thing happened to me. My wife thought either she was being stalked or I had been up to something. One day she called me 'quick, there is the loony woman looking in' whereupon I was able to utter the immortal words 'That's no loony, that's my (ex) wife!'

Th ex had moved to the same village and knew where we lived, having seen us about. My how we laughed, no really, as we were in a lovely big house and she and her chap were in a tiny rental!!
 
#11
Perhaps she just wants a slice of finks. Light some candles, pop open a bottle of wine and see whether you get a slap in the face or a bit of slap and tickle. Alternatively bolt the doors, lock all windows, draw the curtains, turn the lights out and retire to bed. Build a pillow fort for safety and take a frying pan up to keep under the pillow in case she is a witch and levitates through the window. When you say live 'fairly close' to the mental health hospital- how close we talking?
Close! 15 metres from the perimeter fence. I think I will send CINCNAGHOME out to confront her when she returns from Canada, while I observe from behind the net curtains.


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#12
Close! 15 metres from the perimeter fence. I think I will send CINCNAGHOME out to confront her when she returns from Canada, while I observe from behind the net curtains.


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She probably can't believe you've still got net curtains?


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#16
Close! 15 metres from the perimeter fence. I think I will send CINCNAGHOME out to confront her when she returns from Canada, while I observe from behind the net curtains. Posted from the Navy Net mobile app (Android / iOS)
I'm guessing you are inside yonder fence? It might be dockyard Dora wishing to trade her favours for your Red Sailor, so whilst awaiting the wee wifey why not display the time-honoured symbol:
 
#17
Hmmmm, if I were to let her in it could well end up with her stabbing me as opposed to me stabbing her with the old Scottish Spewing Stick, either way I would need notice in order for the Dr Pfizer blue diamond to take effect. The old OMO signal brings back memories of Hardy Hill, happy days.
 
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