Short'n'Sweet

[taffscrivs]

Woman goes to the doctor and says "Can you help me I'm becoming terribly kinky."
Doctor replies "Go behind the screen, strip off and lie on the couch."
She thinks it's a bit strange but does as she's told.
She lies there for a couple of minutes but the doctor doesn't come in, she just hears a grunt and a lot of heavy breathing.
"Okay", says the doctor, "You can get dressed now."
"But you haven't done anything Doctor".
"Yes I have, I'm kinky as well, I've just shit in your handbag!"

 

[buffersduffer]

.......and on a more positive note, Johnny Depp has just been offered a lucrative sponsorship deal with Stella Artois

 

[buffersduffer]

Prince William reveals he had covid at the same time as his father

Prince Andrew released a statement, saying he never met her and was at Pizza Express

 

[buffersduffer]

I asked the librarian for a book on constipation

She said ‘It comes out in a week or two’

I thought that’s the one

 

[buffersduffer]

Never miss an open goal, so here’s a few cheapshots.....


Maradona walks into a bar and says ‘Give me a double rum and coke’
Barman says “We don’t serve spirits!”


I’ve just checked VAR, he’s not dead


Maradona may of loved cocaine but his footballing skills weren’t to be sniffed at, especially coming off the lines


News flash - Maradona has punched the bucket


Sir, Maradona is dead....
Break open the port, Stanley...

 

[Alfacharlie]

Never miss an open goal, so here’s a few cheapshots.....


Maradona walks into a bar and says ‘Give me a double rum and coke’
Barman says “We don’t serve spirits!”


I’ve just checked VAR, he’s not dead


Maradona may of loved cocaine but his footballing skills weren’t to be sniffed at, especially coming off the lines


News flash - Maradona has punched the bucket


Sir, Maradona is dead....
Break open the port, Stanley...

Her modern song’s were pretty shit to be honest.
The early stuff was ok though.

 

[Chris P]

Her modern song’s were pretty shit to be honest.
The early stuff was ok though.

How many tots??

 

[buffersduffer]

For sale :

Large pot of vaginal thrush cream

Apply within

 

[buffersduffer]

I so shocked earlier at meeting a scouser with a job that I bought a copy of the Big Issue off him...

 

[Sumo]

 

[Sumo]

 

[Sguaba Tuinne]

Covid is driving takeaways mad. I ordered Chinese last night and when it arrived a knock at door and the guy was stood up the garden shouting "isolate isolate"
I said dont worry mate, you only took 25 minutes

 

[Sumo]

Covid is driving takeaways mad. I ordered Chinese last night and when it arrived a knock at door and the guy was stood up the garden shouting "isolate isolate"
I said dont worry mate, you only took 25 minutes

 

[buffersduffer]

The LGBT Falklands veteran who had his medals returned said it was the best day of his life......

....when he entered Stanley

 

[Dusty70]

Was it HMS Lincoln that was supposed to be a 'hatters' ship - cause of the red dado around the deck ??

 

[Perry]

Cathedral class so probably down to the clergy

 

[buffersduffer]

Was it HMS Lincoln that was supposed to be a 'hatters' ship - cause of the red dado around the deck ??

I always thought HMY was for those keen on puffing blue veined cigars...