Short'n'Sweet

Paddy invites his pal Murphy round to see his new flat.
On the wall is a huge gong.
Murphy asks . "Whats that?"
Paddy replies "It;s my talking clock."
Murphy says, "How does it work?"
Paddy gets a big hammer and gives the gong a mighty whack.
"BOOOIIING!"
A voice through the wall shouts, "You noisy twat, It's half past ten at night!"
 
My granny, bit of a snob, talking to my mum about her new hearing aid, "it's the most expensive one you can buy, it cost me £4,000."

My mum: "what kind is it?"
my granny: "it's 4:15pm
 
My granny, bit of a snob, talking to my mum about her new hearing aid, "it's the most expensive one you can buy, it cost me £4,000."

My mum: "what kind is it?"
my granny: "it's 4:15pm
I think that one got a telegram from the Queen last year but it always good to see the old favourites. ;)
 

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