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Shittest course, ever

Alfacharlie

War Hero
Ok, I'll start. Off another thread, but fuck it.

LRLC and POLC!

The biggest waste of time going? Full of brown nosing and wanna be instructors.
Why stick us on a field, in the middle of nowhere??

We're fucking matelot's!!
 

crash_evans

War Hero
Shortest or [email protected]?

I was RTU from CBRNDC 14’s Chemical protection and decontamination for smelling of drink. That was day 1, hour 1. Shortest course ever.

*just seen you’ve changed the title. I’m a cockwomble.


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Alfacharlie

War Hero
Shortest or [email protected]?

I was RTU from CBRNDC 14’s Chemical protection and decontamination for smelling of drink. That was day 1, hour 1. Shortest course ever.

*just seen you’ve changed the title. I’m a cockwomble.


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Ha. I was deferred my rate off LAC course for be a cockwomble!
Anyway, on boarding party at Cambridge, I wasn't allowed in the helo?!! Homo's!
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
I got recommended to go round the buoy on LRLC as they said I had an attitude problem, mainly because I kept taking the piss out of the staff.
 

Alfacharlie

War Hero
‘You’ll be blue card at sea if you are boarding team.’

So naive.


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I know!! What a load of tripe!

Anyway, get this, we had to stay in date by hanging off a rope in the hangar for a few minutes.

I qualified for STC that day too!

Safeguard though, not the STC bit, they're fucking nails.
 

crash_evans

War Hero
I know!! What a load of tripe!

Anyway, get this, we had to stay in date by hanging off a rope in the hangar for a few minutes.

I qualified for STC that day too!

Safeguard though, not the STC bit, they're ******* nails.

Naturally we all cut about in greens and made our we were SF. Especially those (like me) that got pistol trained. Three quarter sleeve ninjas.


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Alfacharlie

War Hero
Naturally we all cut about in greens and made our we were SF. Especially those (like me) that got pistol trained. Three quarter sleeve ninjas.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
We Worked with USNAVY SEALs. I shit you not!
When we were in the gulf these lot gave us instruction on abseiling down a container! This is safeguard as well, so anyone on HMS Monmouth in 1998 will vouch!
I thought 'fuck this'!
I was happy in my cruising watch thereafter....

With.. @drip chit

My nephew..

I miss you
Xxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

crash_evans

War Hero
We Worked with USNAVY SEALs. I shit you not!
When we were in the gulf these lot gave us instruction on abseiling down a container! This is safeguard as well, so anyone on HMS Monmouth in 1998 will vouch!
I thought '**** this'!
I was happy in my cruising watch thereafter....

With.. @drip chit

My nephew..

I miss you
Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Gen dit.

I was in San Diego at a bar (shocker) in Coronado. We were chatting to a couple, the lady was a very buxom woman who could kill you with a look, the gent had a SF beard and wore his Seal Team 6 T-Shirt. We spun some dit’s about being in town with the ship etc.

The CHOPS (R) ask the man ‘What do you do?’

Navy SEAL says ‘I was in the teams, I now home abused kids and foster kids.’

CHOPS comes back with ‘So, we are in similar lines of work?’

SEAL looks quizzically at CHOPS.

CHOPS fires back ‘We are both in special Warfare’.

I interject with ‘Only in charge of sharpening chinographs.’

We then laughed out boobies off. Explains what the CHOPS R does.

Said SEAL told him to get fucked.


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Alfacharlie

War Hero
Probably off thread...

We met 'Brandon Block' in Israel, probably around '98 time. I didn't have a scooby, or gives a fuck.

But, apparently he gets all menstruated when you call him 'Bruno Brooks'!

Still no idea who that cunt thought he was?!
 

crash_evans

War Hero
As you can tell by my posts, I'm shiters! First day back tomorrow after 2 months!
@drip chit will you hold my hand up the ladder please??

I’ve been doing a bottle of rum a day. I’ve now reduced this to only weekends. I am joining my new unit virtually via WhatsApp tomorrow.

I’m supposed to be on 35’s refresher in two weeks. I’m not hopeful.

In a positive note, I have realised I can marry my Mrs. We haven’t killed each other in two months.


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Waspie

War Hero
We Worked with USNAVY SEALs. I shit you not!
When we were in the gulf these lot gave us instruction on abseiling down a container! This is safeguard as well, so anyone on HMS Monmouth in 1998 will vouch!
I thought '**** this'!
I was happy in my cruising watch thereafter....

With.. @drip chit

My nephew..

I miss you
Xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Don'tcha mean rapid rope!!!! (It's more fun too).
 

Waspie

War Hero
Shittest course.

Instructors course. What a load of twaddle. A week of being told to stop twiddling your change in your pockets!!! (I don't have money in my pockets) I'm a married man for fools sake!!! I'm not allowed money!!!
 

Alfacharlie

War Hero
Don'tcha mean rapid rope!!!! (It's more fun too).
No, it was proper abseiling mate. We did all the fast roping bollocks out the help, that bit was easy.
This was to look inside containers when stacked on top of each other! I just said, 'na, fook that. I'm a mate-lot'!
 
Ok, I'll start. Off another thread, but **** it.

LRLC and POLC!

The biggest waste of time going? Full of brown nosing and wanna be instructors.
Why stick us on a field, in the middle of nowhere??

We're ******* matelot's!!


True, this is one area where the crabs have got it right. When you go on your Sgt's course as a Cpl you get treated like a Sgt, live in the Sgt's mess and rather than a crappy play they get you to organise a Top Table Dinner and see how you act in the Mess, I did my POLC as a PO but wasn't allowed in the PO's mess (I'd been a PO for about 5 years). Didn't have to do it to be honest unless I wanted to be a CPO.

Also I was an instructor in the Sea Harrier School, part of my job was to carry out the 1st line Radio/Radar courses, did this for 2 years and wrote all the online exams. Draft came through and I had to sit on my course with my relief doing the exams I had written.
 
Last edited:

SONAR-BENDER

War Hero
Do you know what? I LOVED POLC! It was at Royal Arthur in February. The boat was in maintenance, so off I went. It was a box ticking exercise for sure, but as you had to be there, why not go for it? As you know, the Class had to be named after an 'inspirational leader'. Our class quickly decided it should be Biggles! Unfortunately, the Staff didn't agree..... but to us we were Biggles and references cropped up throughout. The final Sod's Opera was full of flying jackets and white scarves!

I enjoyed all the sport and the 5 minute lectures. I REALLY enjoyed the Cliff and Chasm and we even did a challenge. I was Team Leader for the mountain phase and unfortunately was medi-vaced off due to an old injury, but still got ace marks for my planning etc.

One of our lads and a mate of mine had a fiancee at a local hospital...... so we actually DID have a bus load of nurses at our mess party. We made it a ticket only event and F Troop were NOT impressed! being refused entry - so to speak! Very happy days.

Maybe we had a good group of lads, I don't know, but I quite literally threw myself into everything and had a ball. My final report was so good I'm still embarrassed reading it.
 
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